ME-NUDE-OH! SHRIMP

June 19, 2015
You say Menudo, I say Backstreet Boys, Serve them up at 98 Degrees

You say Menudo, I say Backstreet Boys, Serve them up at 98 Degrees

What’s the first thing you think of when I say MENUDO?  You probably are thinking about a crappy Latin boy band from the 80’s.  This is truly unfortunate.  You are letting outdated pop culture byproducts cloud your judgment.  Let me educate you unfortunate souls on menudo mix.  This simple Mexican blend of herbs and spices (oregano, crushed red pepper flakes, onion powder, cumin, and onion powder) can take some dishes from bueno to AY CARUMBA! Like Ricky Martin’s career, this is certainly the case with this dish.  Shrimp have the glorious ability to absorb almost any flavor into its awesome texture.  Keep them in their shells and you will have flavor to spare.  You just have to bring the same amount of flare into the bedroom as Menudo brought on stage for the millions of 80’s teenage girls in their neon leggings and jelly shoes.  I have faith in you.  So next time you think about Menudo, eat without prejudice. Read the rest of this entry »


SEX YOU CAN MEXICAN PIZZA

April 17, 2009
Sex you can, yes you can!

Sex you can, yes you can!

Buenas noches, senoritas!  There is plenty of room at mi casa y mi cama for a little bit of this and a whole lot of that.  Considering how simple, fast and cheap these pizzas are to create, we can make them all night long.  So feel free to invite some of your sexy amigas along.  I’m selfless enough to share myself with all of you.  It’s what Jesus would have done.  And isn’t that what it’s all about?  Screaming “Oh God!” or “Dios mio!” into the night demonstrates family values.  So let’s do our part.  Together we can make this world a more pleasurable place.

Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Beer or tequila

mexican-pizza-prep1Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 medium-sized flour tortillas
2. ½ can of black beans
3. 1 jalapeño de-seeded chopped
4. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
5. 2 handfuls of shredded jack cheese
6. ½ an AVOCADO sliced thinly
7. 2 sprinkles of Menudo mix

Step 1
Preheat an oven or toaster oven to 375 degrees F.  Use a fork to spread out a ¼ can of black beans on each tortilla, using as little of the bean liquid as possible.  Scatter the jalapeño and tomato evenly over the beans.  Place the cheese evenly above and crown it with a sprinkle of menudo mix.
mexican-pizza-assemble
Step 2
Throw the Mexican pizzas in the oven and bake until the cheese melts and the tortillas brown and harden (approx 12 minutes).  Remove from the oven and artfully place the avocado slices over the pizzas and chop into quarters and serve.  Ole!
mexican-pizza-bake-slicemexican-pizza-served-2

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