September 21, 2015
Shrimping and pimping and bed sheet crimping
It’s time to apply the philosophy of MTV’s Pimp My Ride to your dinner. Say you have a taco recipe that is so-so. Your tacos will feed hungry people, but chances are no one you’ve served them to have torn off their clothes to show their appreciation. That is a damn shame Cook To Bang will rectify. We’re taking a simple taco recipe, supping it up with aphrodisiac-laden flavor, and letting that shit ride across your plates then down your gullets faster than you can say, “I’ll get some protection.” I learned a similar recipe while acting a fool in Baja California chasing senoritas while downing margaritas. These tacos sure made my beach side dalliances more enjoyable. I smuggled the recipe across the border along with some fireworks and KABOOM! Pleasant pimpin’. Read the rest of this entry »
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aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, healthy, IT’S ON!-TREES, mexican, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, Baja California, bang, banging, bbq, beachside, black pepper, cabbage, corn tortillas, cumin, delicious, DIY, easy, fireworks, food, fusion, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, grill, guarantee, healthy, homemade, honey, intercourse, kaboom, kitchen, libido, margarita, mexican, mexico, mtv, naked, oregano, pimp my ride, pimp my shrimp taco recipe, protection, recipe, salsa, salt, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, senoritas, sex, shrimp, shrimp taco recipe, smuggle, taco, tasty, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
June 19, 2015
You say Menudo, I say Backstreet Boys, Serve them up at 98 Degrees
What’s the first thing you think of when I say MENUDO? You probably are thinking about a crappy Latin boy band from the 80’s. This is truly unfortunate. You are letting outdated pop culture byproducts cloud your judgment. Let me educate you unfortunate souls on menudo mix. This simple Mexican blend of herbs and spices (oregano, crushed red pepper flakes, onion powder, cumin, and onion powder) can take some dishes from bueno to AY CARUMBA! Like Ricky Martin’s career, this is certainly the case with this dish. Shrimp have the glorious ability to absorb almost any flavor into its awesome texture. Keep them in their shells and you will have flavor to spare. You just have to bring the same amount of flare into the bedroom as Menudo brought on stage for the millions of 80’s teenage girls in their neon leggings and jelly shoes. I have faith in you. So next time you think about Menudo, eat without prejudice. Read the rest of this entry »
8 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, mexican, RECIPES, seafood, spicy | Tagged: 80’s, Antoine, aphrodisiac, atkins, bang, boy band, cumin, delicious, DIY, easy, flavor, game changer, get laid, gourmet, Grilled shrimp recipe, grillin' like a villain, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, jelly shoes, kitchen, leggings, lemon, menudo mix, menudo shrimp recipe, mexican, mexico, naked, neon, olive oil, onion powder, oregano, recipe, red pepper, Ricky martin, salt, seafood, seduce, sex, shrimp, south beach diet, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 5, 2014
Once you go Greek, you don’t go back…unless you’re squeamish
The Greeks sure know how to live. They have amazing islands, beautiful tan people and ouzo that pours out of every faucet. Seriously. I actually took an ouzo shower in Mykonos. But the shower was in a club and my Greek friends were pouring it over my head. My first thought was I had pissed off one of the girls by telling her she looks like the homely older sister of the goddess Athena. Thankfully this goddess-like mortal didn’t lose my sarcasm in translation. The ouzo shower was her mating call. Naturally the boorish American read it wrong thinking I had offended her. Believe it or not, that happens a lot. It took a few more alcoholic hosings and a passionate kiss on the dance floor to finally get it. I was crystal clear as the Mediterranean Sea when she led me down to the beach like a Trojan horse. Now I fully comprehend what it means to go Greek. Interesting. What’s also interesting is the island nation’s produce. Super healthy, tasty Greek Salads will fuel many ouzo shower-filled evenings. Do Zeus proud and go Greek! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | greek, LEAFY & LOVELY, Mediterranean, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: Athena, Athens, balsamic vinegar, bang, cucumber, delicious, Dionysius, dish, easy, fast, feta cheese, game changer, garlic, get laid, going Greek, gourmet, Greece, Greek dressing, Greek salad, Greek salad recipe, green pepper, guarantee, healthy, healthy salad, heart healthy, intercourse, kalamata olives, kitchen, lunch, meal, Mediterranean, naked, oregano, recipe, red onion, romance, salad, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, tomato, toss your salad, yummy, Zeus | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
March 9, 2009
Now that I am armed with the Booty Bomb, nothing can stop me. Muahahaha!
Weapons of mass destruction are no doubt dangerous in the hands of terrorists. But what about weapons of mass satisfaction? They also pose a threat in the hands of the common man. I found this out the hard way when I adjusted a simple recipe for eggplant Parmesan. This already awesome dish took my game to DEFCON 5. Suddenly I could cause an orgasm in every woman in a 5 mile-radius as soon as I popped this dish into the oven. The power did in fact go to my head. I became a super-villain indiscriminately bringing beautiful women to their knees in abject pleasure. Lucky for mankind, a douchey superhero known as the Cock-Blocker managed to wipe my memory clean of the ingredients of this recipe. Too bad for that good two-shoes so-called hero, the Freedom of Information Act allows the rest of you access to this powerful dish. Cook with caution!
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: Red wine
Ingredients:
1. Salt to taste
2. ½ tablespoon of oregano
3. 3 tablespoons of olive oil
4. 1 28-ounce can of tomatoes
5. 1 large handful of shredded/chopped mozzarella
6. 2 eggs
7. 1 large eggplant cut into 1-inch thick rounds
8. 1 onion chopped coarsely
9. 1 handful of chopped parsley
10. 3 garlic cloves chopped coarsely
11. ½ cup of flour
12. ¼ cup of shredded Parmesan
13. ½ cup of breadcrumbs
Step 1
Create the sauce by heating up 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a pan on medium-high heat. Sauté the garlic until they whiten (approx 30 seconds). Sauté the onions until they become translucent (approx 2 minutes). Add salt to taste and parsley and cook in the flavor (approx 1 minute). Add the tomatoes and crush them yourself. Turn the heat down low and allow the sauce to simmer as you move on to Step 2.
Step 2
Create the eggplant batter. First mix up the breading: flour, breadcrumbs, Parmesan and oregano in one bowl. Beat the eggs in a second bowl. Heat up 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a pan on medium-high heat. Dip each eggplant round in the eggs, and then the breading and fry them 4 or five at a time. Flip once after the bottoms brown (approx 2 minutes) and repeat. Set aside on a paper towel to soak up excess oil. Repeat as needed.
Step 3
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lay down a base of sauce in a small baking/casserole dish. Put down a layer of fried eggplants. Place another layer of sauce and eggplants until you have exhausted your supply, laying the last of the sauce on top. Scatter the mozzarella buckshot style over the top and throw in the oven. Bake until the cheese crusts and browns (approx 20 minutes). You are in for a treat! Serve it up solo or with some PASTA.
2 Comments | italian, IT’S ON!-TREES, Mediterranean, RECIPES | Tagged: baked, baked eggplant parmesan, bang, breadcrumbs, delicious, DIY, easy, eggplant, Eggplant parmesan recipe, eggs, flour, fried eggplant, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, hearty, homemade, intercourse, italian, kitchen, leftovers, Mediterranean, mozzarella, naked, olive oil, onion, oregano, parmesan, parsley, recipe, romantic, salt, sauce, sauté, seduce, sex, tasty, tomato, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 31, 2009
Red Pepper 42, Black Bean 42, Hut Hut Hike!
I’m gasping for air as I write this post. Good god is this veggie chili sexy, healthy and satisfying. Trust me when I say this is going to be a challenge to not eat it all before I bring it to the Super Bowl party this weekend. It’s like waiting for marriage to engage in sexual relations. It’s a nice idea in theory. But seriously, why? Sure it might feel great to finally experience pure ecstasy with the person you will spend the rest of your life. But then again it might be a huge let down when you finally claim what’s yours. Luckily you don’t have to worry about that with this chili dish. It actually tastes better the next day once the flavors have wrapped their legs around the veggies and grinded until they make culinary cunnilingus. If you do manage to keep this ridiculously healthy chili around for the Super Bowl or other party, you will certainly be busy taking down phone numbers from eager foodies with an appetite for you. Take a number.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: A beer, margarita or other football-watching beverage
Ingredients (serves a party or 2 hungry people for days):
1. ½ cup of vegetable oil
2. 1 tablespoon of dried oregano
3. 1 8-ounce can of corn
4. Sour cream for garnish
5. 1 teaspoon of salt
6. Shredded cheddar cheese for garnish
7. 2 tablespoons of ground cumin
8. 1 28-ounce can of whole tomatoes
9. 1 can of garbanzo beans
10. 1 can of black beans
11. 2 stalks of celery chopped coarsely
12. 1 green pepper chopped coarsely
13. 1 red pepper chopped coarsely
14. 4 cloves of garlic chopped finely
15. 2 dried New Mexico chilies
16. 1 large carrot peeled and chopped coarsely
17. 1 yellow pepper coarsely
18. 1 onion chopped coarsely.
19. 2 handfuls of mushrooms chopped coarsely
Step 1
Heat up the vegetable oil in a stockpot on medium-high. Sautee the garlic solo until they brown (approx 30 seconds). Cook the onions until they become translucent (approx 2 minutes). Throw in all the carrots, celery, yellow, red and green peppers and cook until they soften, stirring occasionally. (approx 15 minutes)
Step 2
It’s time to spice things up. Cup up the New Mexico chilies, then toss them into the pot with the mushrooms let it simmer (approx 2 minutes). Now smack it all up with ground cumin, oregano and salt and cook in the flavor (approx 10 minutes).
Step 3
Open up the can of tomatoes and drain the juice into a bowl before chopping the tomatoes up coarsely. Add the tomatoes and juice onto the pot and cook until the tomatoes dissolve and become part of the sauce (approx 10 minutes).
Step 4
Drain the liquid from the cans of corn, garbanzo beans and black beans, then dump them all into the pot and cook them with all the other goodies until they become united in their chili power (approx 10 minutes). Serve up with a sexy selection of toppings like shredded cheddar, sour cream and diced red onions.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, HOT LIQUID LOVE, mexican, RECIPES, spicy, vegan, vegetarian, winter | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, bell pepper, black beans, carrot, celery, cheddar, cheese, chili, corn, cumin, delicious, easy, game changer, garbanzo beans, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green pepper, guarantee, healthy, intercourse, kitchen, mexican, mushroom, naked, new Mexico chilies, onion, oregano, party, recipe, red pepper, romance, salt, Santa fe, SEDUCTION, sex, sour cream, south beach diet, spicy, Super bowl, tailgate, tasty, tomato, vegetable oil, vegetarian, Vegetarian chili recipe, veggie chili recipe, winter, yellow pepper, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 