WET DREAMYTINI

November 21, 2014

I’m dreaming of a wet martini.

Some dreams are memorable, others haunt you for weeks after, and the best kind leave your sheets sticky the next morning. That’s what we’re going for here. You want your dreams as naughty as you can get. This martini is here to turn those obscene dreams into reality. Why shouldn’t you indulge in all of your dreams, noble and sordid alike? You work hard; you do good throughout your life; you deserve to do a little bad. Next time you have a classy hottie over for something delicious and decadent, get dreamy with martini shaker. Bonus points that pomegranate juice is rich in cancer-fighting antioxidants so any perverted intentions get canceled out. Read the rest of this entry »


NO BLUE-BALL-BERRY KRISPIE SWEETS

February 11, 2009
Krispy on the outside, soft and juicy on the inside.

Krispy on the outside, soft and juicy on the inside.

Your favorite childhood treat is back with a black and blueberry attitude. This ain’t your momma’s Rice Krispie Treat.  The team of molecular physicists on staff at COOK TO BANG developed a groundbreaking improvement to this noble confectionery.  The naysayers who said our research grant money was worse spent than Sarah Palin’s Bridge To Nowhere can suck it.  Now that haters are off to ruin someone else’s day, behold: I reveal to you the revolutionary Krispie Treat supercharged with blueberry bomb blasts.  The consumer will be too busy rolling their eyes into the back of their heads to notice the antioxidants going to work.  Serve these treats to someone you’re sweet on  in full confidence that you’re holding your conquest’s health in the utmost regard.  It’s low in fat, rich in fiber, and overflowing with awesomeness. Keep in mind you’ll have plenty of leftovers that are great for post-coital snacks or to lure future dates to your place. No blue balls for you, my friend!

krispy-prep-copyTotal time: approximately 40 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: HOT COCOA

Ingredients:
1. 6 cups of Rice Krispies (or generic brand)
2. 10 ounces of marshmallows
3. 1 small container of fresh blueberries
4. ¼ stick of butter

Step 1
Melt the butter completely in a deep pan or pot on low heat.  Toss in the marshmallows, and then cook and stir them until they become one big tasty goop (approx 5 minutes).
krispy-melt
Step 2
Turn the heat off and dump in the Krispies and blueberries. Mix them all together thoroughly. Dump them all into a greased baking pan, and pat them down with a spatula (ideally sprayed with cooking spray).  Allow them time to cool (approx 30 minutes).  Cut up your preferred sized squares and distribute to the beautiful people.

krispy-mix-press

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