December 23, 2015
So it’s Christmas time. You may need to bring something to your (or your significant other’s) family holiday party or perhaps you and a sexy someone have decided to do your own Christmas thang. It’s about that time to bust something homemade out to leave an outstanding impression. Make this homemade eggnog recipe you will just do that. If all goes to plan everyone will be too tanked to think of you as anything but a champ. Encourage the lot of them to drink up, be merry. Not merry yet? Have another glass of this naughty nog. After enough glasses of this creamy cocktail and they’d forgive you for banging the dog (do us all a favor and abstain from this). My first experiment with this drink happened during a frightening visit to the ex-Navy colonel father of a girl I was dating after college. She told me about his medals of valor, not to mention his collection of antique guns. This was a delicate situation that was easily defused by strong eggnog I threw together on a whim. By the end of the night Colonel Kill You In Your Sleep was crooning along to Bing Crosby Christmas carols and calling me “son.” The eggnog was like Kevlar and I was the drunken Baby Jesus. Read the rest of this entry »
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Posted by cooktobang
November 24, 2015
I cream, you cream, we all cream from my filthy food dreams!
I suggest bringing a change of underwear for this one. Decadent doesn’t begin to describe this supernova of creaminess found in this holiday side dish. Don’t feel too embarrassed by your “accident” while eating Cook To Bang style creamed spinach. Chances are everyone else you serve it to will also lose control of their sexual organs and cream in a symphony of sensuality. Expect a flavor orgy. The Thanksgiving may well be swept right off the table as your Friends Thanksgiving turns into a Friends With Benefits Thanksgiving. If you are looking for a more muted, PG-rated side dish you have come to the wrong place. This is the culinary pleasure dome and you are the guest of honor. Serve this dish to a pack of holiday hotties and you will always be the guest of honor.
Total time: approximately 90 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: Red wine or CHASING GINGER TAIL
Ingredients (serves 4):
1. 1 dash black pepper
2. 1 dash salt
3. 2 dashes ground nutmeg
4. ½ cup heavy cream
5. 1 tbsp unsalted butter
6. 1 large handful shallots finely chopped
7. 1 handful raw PINE NUTS
8. 2 cloves garlic finely chopped
9. 1½ lb fresh spinach
Step 1
Wash your spinach thoroughly, chop off the thick stocks and boil for 2 minutes. Drain the spinach, straining out as much of the water as you can squeeze.
Step 2
Melt the butter in a pan and sauté the garlic and shallots until they become translucent (approx 3 min). Add the spinach, salt, black pepper, nutmeg and pine nuts heat through (approx 2 min). Finally add the heavy cream and cook until the cream reduces in half (approx 2 min).
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, holidays, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, southern, THANKSGIVING, vegetarian | Tagged: accident, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, bangsgiving, black pepper, cream in your pants, cream in your pants spinach recipe, creamed spinach recipe, dairy, decadent, delicious, DIY, easy, fattening, flavor orgy, food, friends thanksgiving, friends with benefits, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, gourmet creamed spinach recipe, guarantee, guest of honor, heavy cream, holiday hotties, holidays, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, nutmeg, orgasm, pg-rated, pine nuts, premature ejaculation, recipe, salt, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sexual organs, shallots, side dish, spinach, symphony of sensuality, tasty, THANKSGIVING, turkey, unsalted butter, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 21, 2014
I’m dreaming of a wet martini.
Some dreams are memorable, others haunt you for weeks after, and the best kind leave your sheets sticky the next morning. That’s what we’re going for here. You want your dreams as naughty as you can get. This martini is here to turn those obscene dreams into reality. Why shouldn’t you indulge in all of your dreams, noble and sordid alike? You work hard; you do good throughout your life; you deserve to do a little bad. Next time you have a classy hottie over for something delicious and decadent, get dreamy with martini shaker. Bonus points that pomegranate juice is rich in cancer-fighting antioxidants so any perverted intentions get canceled out. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | fusion, libation lubrication, RECIPES | Tagged: antioxidant, bang, banging, beverage, booze, champagne, classy, cocktail, decadent, delicious, DIY, drunk, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, ice, intercourse, kitchen, lemon peel, libation, libido, liquor, martini, mix, naked, pomegranate champagne martini recipe, pomegranate juice, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sexy, shake, sordid, tasty, vodka, wet dream, wet dreamytini, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 9, 2009
In the spirit of camaraderie and supporting culinary institutions that inspire, I wanted to give a shout out to Evan Kleiman and my friends at KCRW producing the radio show GOOD FOOD for NPR. This show is like foreplay for my ears, sending me into the kitchen to whip up one of my decadent dishes. If this show gets your rocks off like mine, throw some support their way. If you don’t know about it, you should. Thanks to that “series of tubes” (Senator Ted Stevens R-AK) you can listen online, download the podcasts or stick you fork directly into the computer monitor.
http://www.kcrw.org/join
Now back to our regularly scheduled tomfoolery.
Leave a Comment » | RECIPES | Tagged: alaska, broadcast, culinary, decadent, donate, evan kleiman, good food, kcrw, national publi radio, npr, radio, republican, senator, support, ted stevens, tomfoolery | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 24, 2008
This Naughty Nog, ba-rumpa-pum-pum
So it’s Christmas time. You may need to bring something to your (or your significant other’s) family holiday party or perhaps you and a sexy someone have decided to do your own Christmas thang. It’s about that time to bust something homemade out to leave an outstanding impression. Make this homemade eggnog recipe you will just do that. If all goes to plan everyone will be too tanked to think of you as anything but a champ. Encourage the lot of them to drink up, be merry. Not merry yet? Have another glass of this naughty nog. After enough glasses of this creamy cocktail and they’d forgive you for banging the dog (do us all a favor and abstain from this). My first experiment with this drink happened during a frightening visit to the ex-Navy colonel father of a girl I was dating after college. She told me about his medals of valor, not to mention his collection of antique guns. This was a delicate situation that was easily defused by strong eggnog I threw together on a whim. By the end of the night Colonel Kill You In Your Sleep was crooning along to Bing Crosby Christmas carols and calling me “son.” The eggnog was like Kevlar and I was the drunken Baby Jesus.
Total time: approximately 1¼ hours = 3 minutes to prep, the rest to chill
Projected cost: $5 (not including liquor)
Eating Buddy: Christmas cookies
Ingredients (for 6 sexy servings):
1. 2 ½ cups of whole milk
2. ½ cup of dark rum
3. ½ cup of brandy
4. 2 cups of heavy cream
5. 1 cup brown sugar
6. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
7. Nutmeg to taste
8. 6 eggs
Step 1
In a large mixing bowl, add each ingredient separately and beat them in this order: eggs, brown sugar, and vanilla extract. After beating it all together, toss in some ground nutmeg.
Step 2
Like in Step 1, add each ingredient and mix thoroughly in this order: heavy cream, milk, rum and brandy. Beat it together again and chill in the fridge for at least an hour before serving. After chilling, mix it up again and then ladle up some glasses and sprinkle more nutmeg. Ho ho ho! 
1 Comment | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, holidays, libation lubrication, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: Alcoholic eggnog, bang, beverage, brandy, Christmas, cold, cream, creamy, decadent, delicious, drink, drunk, easy, eggnog recipe, eggs, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, holidays, homemade eggnog, intercourse, kitchen, milk, naked, recipe, romance, rum, SEDUCTION, sex, soothing, wet, winter | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 