May 7, 2014
What did one ball say to the other? "Who's the prik king in the middle?"
I know what they’ve been saying. All that negativity and name-calling! I can dismiss it as petty jealousy, a result of being this awesome. But even though you can interpret it as a compliment, it still hurts. You know? Packing heat is a blessing, but goddamn! Even the most gifted culinary Casanovas have feelings that get bruised when mean things are said. So what if someone calls me the Prik King? Clearly they are jealous of my royal status and largess of dowry. All the red curry and green beans in the world won’t change the fact that I am living the dream, while they can only dream. It’s a start. But why can’t we compromise? Perhaps the haters could learn from me instead and in turn use their new skills to create a better life. OR they can keep smack talking and in turn make me look even cooler and more dangerous to the opposite sex. Either way, I win. But there’s room for more winners on the podium. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | 
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Posted by cooktobang
August 21, 2011
Wango tango bango mango
Some dances are forbidden for good reason. Most people don’t want Pandora’s box open. All the yeah yeahs get out and inspire naughty behavior. For the average church-going type, this mindset is justifiable. But the act of reading this website puts you in the OTHER category with the greatest minds of any time. We question the status quo. So why wouldn’t you dance a dance considered morally bankrupt if it makes you feel good? That is merely their misguided opinion based on an unbendable worldview. But not you, dear reader. Have at it! This salad shall inspire you to dance with your partner in ways that will make them gasp, while onlookers blush. To hell with the haters who just can’t hang with your self-expression! You’re too busy throwing down with every last bit of lusty passion anyhow. Now sashay already!
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: White wine or a BANGARITA
Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 2 massive handfuls field greens
2. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
3. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN balsamic vinegar
4. 2 tbsp HONEY
5. 1 mango
Step 1
Preheat your oven to 350°F/175°C. Slice the mango on either side of the pit. Cut checkerboard slices into the mango meat, pour in half the honey and balsamic vinegar, and rub it in. Throw the mango halves into a oven safe plate or pan and roast until the meat softens and absorbs the flavor (approx 25 min). Scoop out the mango slices, rubbing them into the sauce.
Step 2
Combine the olive oil, and remaining honey and balsamic vinegar, stirring it into a dressing.
Step 3
Toss the field greens, mango, and dressing. Serve up with a delectable SINWICH and you are golden.
Leave a Comment » | healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, Mediterranean, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, balsamic vinegar, bang, banging, blush, calivirgin, chuch-going, dance, delicious, DIY, dressing, easy, field greens, food, forbidden, forbidden tango roast mango salad, fruit, game changer, gasp, get laid, gourmet, greens, guarantee, haters, healthy, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, libido, mango, morally bankrupt, naked, olive oil, Pandora’s box, recipe, roast, roast mango salad recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, status quo, tango, tasty, toss your salad, unbendable, vegan, vegetarian, worldview, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 