November 16, 2008
Kahlua brownie will make 'em go downie on you
If you are sweet on your sweetheart, use chocolate to seal the deal. Chocolate is an amazingly effective aphrodisiac that gets the heart rate up, increases blood flow and creates a natural feeling of well being, euphoria, and with any luck, wanton lust. Ancient Aztec’s thought it invigorated men and made women less inhibited and they consumed it before battle or intense rounds of sexual activity. Have we learned nothing from history? Do as the Aztec do and do it all night with some natural aphrodisiacs. The fact that it tastes like food reserved for the Gods is beside the point. Take it a step further with Kahlua. The Mexican liqueur makes bad coffee tastes superb, a white Russian worthwhile and stands alone like champ just on ice. Combine chocolate and Kahlua into homemade brownies and you are well on your way to a tasty, triumphant evening. If the magnificent meal you made can’t seal the deal, go for the knockout punch. Hand feed your date a Kahlua Brownie and follow it up with a chocolate flavored kiss. Mmm…
Ingredients (for 2):
1. ½ stick of butter
2. 4 ounces of unsweetened baking chocolate
3. 2 cups of sugar
4. 3 eggs
5. 1 teaspoon of baking powder
6. 1½ cups of flour
7. 1 teaspoon of salt
8. 2 cups of Kahlua
9. ½ cup of shredded coconut
Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In one mixing bowl combine the flour, salt and baking powder and mix together thoroughly. In a second bowl, mix the eggs and sugar together so they are united, like the 13 original US colonies.
Step 2
Use a saucepan to heat the butter and melt down the chocolate. Add 1½ cups of the Kahlua (saving the other ½ cup) and mix until it is one chocolate river of goodness.
Step 3
Bring together the flour/salt/baking power with the egg/sugar and melted chocolate/Kahlua into one big party. Blend it all into a batter and make it all better by adding the shredded coconut. Pour the better batter into a greased baking pan and spread it out evenly.
Step 4
Throw the baking pan in the oven and bake for 35-40 minutes. If you are unsure if it is ready, dip a toothpick into the brownie: if it comes out clean you have yourself bake brownies. Finally, use a brush or flat spoon to spread out the remaining ½ cup of Kahlua and let it settle for 5 minutes into a glaze. Cut the brownies up and serve with milk, ice cream or use them to bribe a cop out of a speeding ticket.
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aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: aphrodisiac, baked, chocolate, coconut, delicious, dessert, eggs, flour, food, homemade, hot, Kahlua, Kahlua brownie, love, lust, recipe, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, sexy, simple, sugar, sweet | 
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Posted by cooktobang
November 12, 2008
Melts in your mouth, not in your pants
“Thar she blows!” the pirate screamed out the window of the brothel. The wharf town residents were unaware the mangy marauder was not talking about impregnating a strumpet’s mouth. Rather he was commenting on the fine tuna melt the brothel’s madam prepared from him from the tuna he caught off the bow of his dingy. A fresh tuna melt can indeed take the ordinary sandwich and make it something worthy of jumping ship. This recipe is quick, delicious, but far from fat free. It is comfort food on a higher level and she should be treated accordingly. A gourmet tuna melt works great when you want your game to seem like a coincidence. The appropriate attitude is, “Hey, I throw masterpieces like this together with my eyes closed. It wouldn’t be fair if I actually tried to impress you. Then you’d never leave!” Should this recipe not cause your date melt into the sheets, COOK TO BANG will refund your money back. Oh wait, this site is free. Nevermind. Do you take Monopoly money?
Ingredients (for 2):
1. 2 albacore tuna steaks
2. ½ a lemon
3. 2 tablespoons of mayonnaise
4. 2 slices of bread
5. 4-10 slices of tomatoes
6. 2 slices of cheddar cheese
7. ½ a sliced avocado
Step 1
Sear the tuna steaks and squeeze the lemon over them. Add pepper for extra flavor. Depending on fresh quality of tuna, you can sear it rare or pink. On a bare bones budget you can substitute a can of tuna, which won’t be half as good or impressive.
Step 2
Coarsely chop the seared tuna steaks and throw into a bowl. Add the mayonnaise and mix together thoroughly. For an additional kick, throw in some fresh dill or tarragon.
Step 3
Spread the tuna mixture evenly over the bread. Place the tomatoes evenly out and crown it with slices of cheddar cheese.
Step 4
Broil the open-faced sandwiches until the cheddar cheese is good and melty. Add slices of avocado over the melted cheese and cut each sandwich in half. Serve on a plate with a salad, French fries or a condom.
Leave a Comment » | RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: avocado, bang, bread, broil, cheddar cheese, delicious, easy, gourmet, kitchen, mayonnaise, naked, romance, sandwich, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinwich, tomato, tuna, tuna melt | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 11, 2008
Not so teeny weeny clam linguini
Pasta schmasta. The Italians were on to something akin to the inventing the wheel when they gave the world pasta. Pasta dishes can walk a fine line between outstanding and a sorry excuse for food. It all depends on the scope of your filthy imagination. Ask yourself whether closing the deal is worth the extra $3 for better ingredients. Those who answered “no” should take note that it is far cheaper than hiring a hooker, and with less risk of catching herpes or a shiv in the back. So put the Chef Boyardee back on the shelf and cook like an adult; you might enjoy some post-dinner adult activities (like Parcheesi…in the buff). Take this carb cuisine from flab to fab. Canned clams are cheap and readily available, but your date doesn’t need to know that. Just say you went deep sea diving in shark-infested waters to retrieve the evening meal. You could even impress them with your badass shark bite scar, OR better yet, knock their socks (and underwear) off using this deceivingly simple recipe. This recipe debut was interrupted a few times by a dinner date that couldn’t keep her hands to herself. My lust blinded me to the fact I mistakenly poured the Apple Cider Vinegar instead of olive oil. The result was a tangy compliment to the briny brilliance of the sea. This recipe has since earned itself a permanent place in the COOK TO BANG hall of fame. You’re welcome.
Ingredients (for 2):
1. 8 oz. of dried linguini
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. 3 cloves of garlic diced
4. 2 shallots diced
5. 2 tomatoes chopped coarsely
6. ½ a tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar
7. 1 can of minced clams with clam juice
Step 1
Fill a pot full of water and boil on high heat. Allow the water to boil and throw in the dried pasta and boil until al dente (follow box/bag instructions). Pour through a colander and set aside.
Step 2
On medium heat, add the olive oil and sauté the garlic and shallots until they soften and brown. Toss in the tomatoes and the Apple Cider Vinegar and cook down.
Step 3
Pour in the entire contents of the canned clams, especially the milky white clam sauce. Cook the sauce down until the concoction turns into a pinkish color.
Step 4
Toss the al dente linguini with the clam sauce until they are well mixed and heated through. Serve onto plates with a crisp chardonnay, beer or sake. Tastes like triumph.
2 Comments | CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, RECIPES | Tagged: apple cider vinegar, carboluscious, clam linguine, clams, delicious, easy, garlic, kitchen, linguine, lust, naked, noodles, pasta, quick, recipe, romance, seafood, SEDUCTION, sex, shallots, simple, tomato | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Ingredients (for 2):
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 