BURRATA GOTTA LOTTA PEPPERS

January 6, 2016

Gotta lotta burrata to fatha

Some things in life just belong together. Dog and bone; man and woman; anal sex and lube. The sum is way more awesome than the parts. Can you imagine the Olympics without the ski and snowboard events? The very notion makes me shudder. That’s how I feel about creamy, dreamy burrata mozzarella. This majestic dairy product was hand delivered by Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed on a cloud made of chocolate and feathers. But as good as burrata is, without some sort of tasty wingman, it’s like eating caking frosting in the dark alone on a Saturday night (been there, it ain’t pretty). Tomatoes are the natural go to for most lovers of the CAPRESE SALAD and all things Italian. But clearly those well intentioned, but uninitiated have never enjoyed roasted red peppers with their burrata. I am willing to overlook this infraction, but now you have no excuse. Each bite is like a millions tiny angels tickling your balls or breasts. Heaven is calling your name, my friends! Read the rest of this entry »


HOTTIE TODDY

December 14, 2012
Warm your date's bones before your bones get jumped!

Warm your date's bones before your bones get jumped!

It’s like an 80’s ski movie.  There you are in the ski lodge after a day making fresh turns all day on the slopes.  It’s snowing heavily and you’ve hung up your skis or snowboard.  Your bones start to thaw and across the bar you see a ski bunny or dude checking you out, a Hot Toddy in hand.  Not a bad idea.  You order yourself one before sauntering over and introducing yourself.  You make up a story about how you nearly made it to the 2002 Winter Olympics in Utah, but you chose instead to double major in quantum physics and Japanese at Oxford.  Sure you’re a billionaire now, but you regret not winning the gold for your country.  But hey, you’ll take their phone number as a consolation prize and make plans to meet up later after you shower the ski stink off.  Number in hand, you make your way over to high five your ski buddies and savor the Hot Toddy warming your cold bones. Read the rest of this entry »