March 30, 2016
You wanna bang? Artichokey Dokey!
Have you ever found yourself without inspiration on what sort of vittles to bring to a party? Ever been scrambling to figure out a classy snack to serve your date with a great bottle of red? Bruschetta to the rescue! It’s light, tasty and goddamn refreshing. Did I mention how simple it is to prepare? You could whip up a batch with your eyes wide shut leaving you plenty of time to tame those clothes your date is still wearing. Be sure to remind them that bruschetta is part of the Mediterranean diet. Be sure to emphasize that you are looking out for their health. The fact the artichoke is a turbo-charged APHRODISIAC is beside the point. Just go with it when they pounce on you and making a disappearing act of your pants. Abra-bang-dabra!
Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Red wine
Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
2. 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar
3. 2 twists of crack pepper
4. 1 sprinkle of salt
5. 1 baguette
6. 2 handfuls of drained ARTICHOKE hearts chopped
7. 1 handful of diced red onion
8. 3 tomatoes diced finely
9. 1 small handful of chopped BASIL
10. 2 garlic cloves chopped finely
11. 1 large handful of grated parmesan (skip to make vegan)
Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Slice the nubs off the baguette, and then cut ½ inch slices at a diagonal to make more room for fixings. Place the slices on a baking sheet and toast through in the oven until they brown slightly (approx 10 min).
Step 2
Mix together the tomato, artichoke, red onion, basil, garlic, pepper, salt, olive oil and vinegar in a bowl.
Step 3
Scoop a tablespoon of bruschetta fixings onto each toasted bread slice. Sprinkle a little grated Parmesan on top of each and serve with a bottle of wine.
2 Comments | 
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Posted by cooktobang
October 19, 2015
“I’m long, and I’m strong, and I’m down to get the friction on!” – Sir Mix-A-Lot
Chicken salad makes most people think of a backyard luncheon on a Sunday afternoon after church. The respectable ladies wear their hats, fan themselves with the hymnal handouts, and nibble on dull chicken salad made with chicken, mayo, and sliced celery. I don’t blame you for dismissing chicken salad as a big old snooze-fest. But what if you substituted Mrs. Anderson’s usual yawn-inducing specialty with the Cook To Bang version turbo-loaded with all things banging? You got yourself a Whitesnake video in the backyard. The ladies will rip holes in their Sunday best, crawl across the foldout tables, and shake their teased hair around as if there’s an oversized fan conveniently blowing. The men, the good reverend included, will headbang and mosh, Jell-O cubes flying everywhere. Careful where you serve this salad! Cook To Bang is no liable for the aftermath.
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1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, dairy, LEAFY & LOVELY, poultry, RECIPES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, artichoke hearts, backyard, bang, banging, basil, cheese, church, dairy, delicious, DIY, easy, food, friction chicken salad recipe, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, headbang, homemade, intercourse, Jell-O, kitchen, libido, luncheon, mayonnaise, mosh, naked, parmesan, recipe, rotisserie chicken, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, snooze-fest, sun dried tomatoes, Sunday best, tasty, whitesnake, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Ingredients (serves 2)
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 