PINCH YOUR ASS-BERRY BROWNIES

November 24, 2008
Even a man without taste buds would have an edible orgasm from this treasure.

Even a man without taste buds would have an edible orgasm from this treasure.

I challenge anyone to make these brownies and not succeed in melting the heart of your intended conquest.  This dish is so sensual and irresistible that I seduced myself.  It was quite the challenge to  share it with my date.  She couldn’t keep her finger out of my batter and licked my bowl clean.  We nearly finished it off before it made it into the oven.  Good thing we did because these brownies were radioactive with awesomeness.  This is an aphrodisiac double feature with more chocolate than Willy Wonka could pull out of his hat with the antioxidant raspberry remix.  Just thinking about these brownies brings a tear to my eyes because I know what dessert in heaven will taste like, minus the annoying harp music.  Accept the raspberry brownies into your heart and sing a post-coital Hallelujah!

raspberry-brownies-prepIngredients:
1. 2/3 cup of baking flour
2. ¼ teaspoon of baking powder
3. ¾ cup of sweet ground chocolate/cocoa (Ghiradelli recommended)
4. ¼ teaspoon of salt
5. ½ a small package of fresh/frozen raspberries
6. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
7. 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips
8. 1 stick of butter
9. ¾ cup of sugar
10. 2 eggs

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Sift together the flour, cocoa mix, sugar, salt and baking powder.  Melt the stick of butter and beat in with eggs and vanilla extract.  Mix the eggs/butter combination with the dry cocoa/flour/sugar mix into a batter.  Blend in the chocolate chips and you have mind-blowing batter that you can bake or lick off your date’s naughty bits.
raspberry-brownies-batter1
Step 2
Grease that small pan (9 inch square recommended) like its never been greased up before.  Pour in half the batter like a pleasure-delaying seduction. Tuck those babe-licious berries into the brownie batter bed before smothering it with the other half of cocoa-laden chaos.  Throw the baking pan into the oven and bake for 25-35 minutes.  When in doubt, us a toothpick to dip into the brownie: if the pick comes out dry you got yourself a decadent dessert.  Allow to cool for 15 minutes, then serve with ice cream, a glass of milk, or with your best deal-closing move.raspberry-brownies-pan

raspberry-brownies-ready

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CAPRESE ‘EM AGAINST THE MATTRESS SINWICH

November 24, 2008
The caprese salad has more disguises than a Scooby Doo villain

The caprese salad has more disguises than a Scooby Doo villain

Caprese salad is the simplest Italian salad, but punches you in the nose with the complex flavors it yields.  The buttery mozzarella, crisp tomato, and basil’s hint of the Italian countryside can put you a pimping pedestal.  But sometimes delicious and light aren’t going to cut it when you are hungry enough to eat a Buick.  Not to worry.  This versatile salad leads a double life as a sandwich.  So it’s easy to take this dish on afternoon picnics in areas secluded enough for you to make sweet love in the great outdoors.  Should your date lack taste buds entirely and not like this sensational sandwich, the more for you to savor. “Sorry, sucka!  But I still think your cute…wanna get busy in this grassy meadow?”

caprese-sandwich-prepIngredients (for 2 sandwiches):
1. 2 fresh baked sandwich rolls
2. Olive oil for drizzling
3. Balsamic vinegar for drizzling
4. ½ an avocado sliced
5. 1 tomato sliced
6. 8 ounces of fresh buffalo mozzarella sliced
7. 2 handfuls of fresh whole basil leaves

Step 1
Slice open the bread rolls and lay out the basil leaves, tomato slices, buffalo mozzarella, and avocado.  Drizzle olive oil and balsamic vinegar to your liking.  You want the sandwich to be moist, but not soggy. Cut the sandwich in half and serve up on a plate with a green salad or wrap up to enjoy in the park with your head in your dream girl/guy’s lap.

caprese-sandwich-assemble

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