CREAM IN YOUR PATCHWORK PANTS SPINACH

March 16, 2010

Be sure not to spill spinach on your Birkenstocks!

The vegans deserve some love from time to time. Neglecting their needs would be insensitive of me as the apex of a modern gentleman. Besides, I have had a parade of smoking hot, not too hippie chicks passing through my boudoir recently to ignore their needs. Their picky palette must be satisfied too before my insatiable appetite gets its finger-licking fix. Creamed spinach was my bag that night, but my no-cream cutie wasn’t having it. Alas, the Thai cuisine saved the day. Coconut milk was a satisfactory cream-substitute for little miss animal freedom fighter. Smiles all around. Homegirl got her way; homeboy got to play. Plus a new dish was born for the next vegan Thanksgiving when we need something to go with the organic tofurkey.

Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Beer

Ingredients (serves 6)
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 1/2 can coconut milk
3. 1 dash sea salt
4. 1 small handful sun-dried tomato roughly chopped
5. 1 small handful GINGER finely chopped
6. 2 massive handfuls fresh spinach

Step 1
Sauté the ginger in olive oil (approx 30 sec) before adding the sun-dried tomatoes (approx 1 min). Throw in the spinach and sauté with a dash of salt until it wilts (approx 2 min). Pour in the coconut milk and slowly cook on low heat until the liquid mostly evaporates and absorbs into the spinach (approx 5 min).

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DOUBLE E-CUP MORNINGS

December 4, 2009

Go ahead. Cop a feel.

Ever woken up next to someone WAY out of your league? Last night is a blur, you’re unsure of this hottie’s name, and you’re wondering if your benefactor is Make A Wish Foundation.   However you got here is irrelevant should you wish to see this stone-cold sexpot after they walk out your door.  Sure if it was another skank you assured your friends, “I know. It’s been a while. But seriously, dude, I know!” you wouldn’t bother with an Eggo waffle.  But on rare occasions where your lucky ass hits the hookup jackpot, you need to bring your morning A-game.  This is one such meal memorable enough to get a repeat or three-peat or possibly a repeat with a three-peat of conquests. Just ask the ballerina I’m told I picked up at a black tie Art Gala I crashed. Pictures of the two of us in the BG behind celebrities smiling like douches confirms the story, but you could have told me I saved her from a crazy Sheik’s harem and I’d take your word for it. This girl was in a hurry, presumably to pirouette across some stage, so I had to hook her up on the quick.  The cabbage cups made one hell of a carb-light wrap for my tiny dancer to chow on the go.  Later on it was she who called me and texted me and facebooked me and…Chill, homegirl! This dish may just be too effective.

Total time: approximately 10 minutes

Projected cost: $6

Drinking Buddy: Fresh OJ or BANGARITA

Ingredients (serves 2):

1. 2 intact cabbage cups

2. 1 dash paprika

3. 1 dash black pepper

4. 1 dash salt

5. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil

6. 1 handful fresh spinach

7. SIMPLY SEXY SALSA

8. ½ AVOCADO sliced thinly

9. 2 sausages (pork/chicken/veggie) sliced thinly

10. 3 eggs

Step 1

Crack the eggs and whisk them together with the salt, black pepper and paprika.

Step 2

Sauté the sausage with olive oil until they brown on both sides (approx 3 min).  Mix in the spinach and sauté until it wilts (approx 2 min).  Pour in the egg mixture and scramble like a champ (approx 2 min).

Step 3

Scoop half of the eggs in each cabbage cup. Crown with avocado and salsa.

The odds of stopping this BREAKFAST from sealing the seduction package deal are not good.

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