LOX BREAKFAST BRAIN SCRAMBLE

June 22, 2015

Lox me up, because otherwide, I'd break these chains and ravage anything in my sight.

With Valentines Day creeping in like a ninja assassin, you better be ready with you’re A-game if you are seeing someone you like. It’s make or break time that will define where this relationship of yours will progress towards. If you don’t like them all that much, might I suggest a vacation far far away. You don’t want to be anywhere near town with a clinger you’re about to retire. But those of you lucky enough to have that one person you would gladly Cook To Bang every night, you need to start Valentine’s Day off right. There are few better approaches than breakfast in bed. Cliche it may be, but effective at not only dropping panties, but also keeping them off for long gaps of time it is. This fancy scramble from the future us perfect for sending the message that, ìNot only do I enjoy banging you, but also listening to you talk while we eat breakfast together.î If that is not true love, I weep for the future. Read the rest of this entry »


SO EASY FRISEE SALAD

March 23, 2010

Frisee makes them easy peasy, but never sleazy

The easy route isn’t always the sleazy route. It can be downright classy if you do it up right. Few lettuce varieties scream sophistication and debonair style like frisee. You might as well be wearing a monocle and waistcoat when you serve it up. And easy doesn’t just apply to the simplicity of this salad’s assembly. Your date will certainly be up for it, whatever “it” may be.  So get with it while the getting is good and easy. Take it frisee!

Total time: approximately 5 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Chardonnay, like a classy suburban housewife

Ingredients (serves 6)
1. 1 bunch frisee lettuce
2. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
3. 1 tbsp rice vinegar
4. 1/2 tbsp HONEY
5. 1 pear sliced thinly
6. 1/2 AVOCADO in bite-sized pieces
7. 1 lemon wedge

Step 1
Create the dressing by mixing the olive oil, lemon juice, rice wine vinegar, and honey.

Step 2
Rinse the frisee, cut off the stems, and chop coarsely into pieces you can stuff in your mouth. Throw in the pear and avocado. Toss it all with the dressing and hot damn do you have yourself a salad.

This is the perfect warm up for a hearty main like PORTOBELLO BORDELLO or DATEY CHICKEN CHA CHA.

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SESAME = SEX TO ME BOY CHOY

February 11, 2010

Behold the green love machine bio-diesel (and quite delicious) fuel

I’m not sure what it is about bok choy; I always seem to taste sweet satisfaction when I serve it to the ladies. Perhaps it’s a purely coincidental, somewhat random constant in my life. But I’m not so sure. It could be that it’s classy and reeks of sophistication. The girls I serve it to may sense that I am indeed a well-traveled man of the world. No doubt I was probably an envoy or junior UN ambassador traveling in my own motorcade complete with a bodyguard with an Austrian accent. But my gut tells me it’s a more physiological. Whether it’s the healthy chloroform, delicious taste, or the lovely green color, something magical is happening each time I grab a bok choy off the shelf. Maybe it’s best not to understand one of nature’s best-kept secrets (until now, you’re welcome!). It’s just as well so long as you enjoy the benefits of steamed magic.

Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Beer or champagne

Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp sesame seeds
2. 1 tbsp HONEY
3. 1 bunch bok choy

Step 1
Chop off the base of the boy choy stalk to separate the leaves. Steam until the leaves begin to wilt and turn bright green.

Step 2
Lay the steamed bok choy leaves out wide and separate from each other. Drizzle the honey evenly over the boy choy and then scatter the sesame seeds so they stick to the honey.

Serve this fine veggie side with any number of fish or meat ENTRÉES.

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