SPANK MY HALIBUT

June 5, 2015
Alaskan halibut is sexier than Sarah Palin marinaded in contradiction

Alaskan halibut is sexier than Sarah Palin marinaded in contradiction

Welcome to the big time, my friends.  This dish is intended for someone rather special because halibut ain’t cheap and it takes a while to prepare.  But you can’t put a price on edible orgasms, at least not legally outside of Amsterdam.  Your date will be so impressed by this outstanding piece of seafood that you will need a crowbar to pry them off of you.  If they are not thoroughly blown away by your cooking prowess than they are most likely a cyborg from the future sent to kill you before you sire the rebel leader a la John Connor.  This is actually a great litmus test that could very well save humanity.  But I digress.  The point is this dish will set your date’s mouth and loins ablaze with passion.  The first time I prepared this dish, I received countless e-mails from my date’s friends who I did not know asking me for the recipe. Only a fool would simply hand over a recipe (case in point).  Instead I offered the cute ones private tutorials.  To the Alaskan halibut fisherman, I owe you a beer or ten! Read the rest of this entry »


LEFTOVER SCHMEFTOVER EGGY WEGGYS

October 13, 2009
SF leftover eggs served

If they ask "Should I stay or should I go?", just shrug.

Sometimes the f@$%-it-all attitude is the best approach to life.  Whether we’re talking dating, cooking or anything that involves sheer pleasure, take a backseat and let it be whatever it will be.  I know that may sound difficult when you want something badly.  Trust me, I’ve been there and learned late in life the importance of not sweating the details. Heed my advice and settle down, tiger.  The eager beaver gnaws on wood and not much else.  This breakfast is a perfect metaphor.  The previous night I grilled my best SPANK MY HALIBUT yet along with some BOAST THE MOST ASS-PARAGUS for a date in who enjoyed it enough to let me sleep over.  Come morning time after my second round of banging the cobwebs out of my eyes, I stumbled casually into the kitchen and made this dish in a matter of minutes.  We dined, we banged and I slipped out the door, all at a leisurely pace, yet made it to work…only 15 minutes late!

Total time: approximately 5 minutes

Projected cost: $3 (plus whatever it cost to make leftovers)

Drinking Buddy: NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI

SF leftover eggs prepIngredients (for 2):

1. 1 dash black pepper

2. 1 dash salt

3. 1 tbsp olive oil

4. 3 eggs

5. 4 tbsp SIMPLY SEXY SALSA

6. 2 slices cheddar cheese

7. Leftover GRILLED FISH

8. Leftover ASPARAGUS

Step 1

Beat the salt and peppered eggs.

SF leftover eggs beat

Step 2

Sauté the chopped leftover asparagus and fish with the olive oil (approx 2 min).  Pour in the eggs, but don’t scramble, just let the egg form around the leftovers like a pancake.  When the eggs cook through (approx 3 min), chop up the cheddar cheese and toss them on top, turn off the heat and cover, and allow it to melt.  Split eggs in half, serve up on plates and throw down some salsa.

SF leftover eggs saute scramble

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