Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

There’s no shame in going second so long as it’s sloppy

No one likes to admit to having taken sloppy seconds, but we’ve all done it.  We all slip up and go there whether it’s hitting it after your best friend, sibling or in my case boss.  As long as you keep it under wraps and don’t allow this booty call to evolve into a five-year relationship then it’s no harm no foul.  Just move on knowing you got your forbidden rocks off and got away with it.  Well done, MacGuyver!  Now you just need to figure out an exit using only dental floss and a used condom.  Remember that your relationship with your homie is way more important than a piece of strange they already discarded anyway.  But sloppy isn’t always bad.  Sloppy can be damn good when stuffed into a bread roll and smothered with avocado.  So embrace the tangy terrific taste of a Sloppy Seconds Joe without shame or fear of retribution.

Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $15
Drinking Buddy: Red wine, beer or a RAGING HARD ON LEMONADE

Ingredients (for two):
1. 1 can of cheap beer
2. ½ cup of ketchup
3. 1 tablespoon of Worcestershire Sauce
4. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
5. ½ teaspoon of salt
6. ½ teaspoon of crushed garlic
7. 2 sandwich-sized French rolls
8. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
9. 2 large dried CHILIES chopped thinly
10. 2 orange or red bell peppers chopped coarsely
11. 1 pound of ground beef or turkey meat

Step 1
Warm the olive oil in the stockpot over medium heat.  Add the crushed garlic and sauté momentarily before throwing in the bell peppers, turkey meat and salt.  Cook and stir until the turkey meat browns (approx 5 minutes).

Step 2
Add the chopped chilies and cook until the spice releases (approx 2 minutes).  Pour in the beer, ketchup and Worcestershire sauce and cook until the liquids evaporate and thicken (approx 20 minutes).  Turn off the heat and stir in the green onions.

Step 3
Split each roll down the middle, leaving the base in tact.  Pull each roll open and spoon in the sloppy Joe mixture, crowning it with avocado if you so desire.  Serve it up sloppy, Joe.