CAPABLE MAPLE SQUASH

January 5, 2015

You are capable of anything and everything. I believe in you!

Achieving goals comes down realizing you are capable of anything with enough effort, planning and luck.  That is especially true when it comes to banging.  Too many suckers assume they are incapable of pulling some prime tail because they’re not rich or handsome or funny.  Those are all excuses that make you part of the beta majority.  Be bold!  I approach everything from my career to my food to my women with bravado and swagger.  Fuck the critics (I have many) who say it’s better to give up and accept the 2nd place fruit basket!  Take this recipe.  I felt like I hit my culinary creativity wall the other night.  A new girl was en route to my house and I hadn’t figured out yet how to knock her socks (and panties) off with my grub.  I’m not about to let me rep as Mr. Cook To Bang suffer so I went big. I grabbed random ingredients to create what my instincts were telling me would be outstanding.  It was the right call.  My date had never eaten anything like it.  The spicy, sweet combination got her sweating long before I closed the deal.  She was incapable of saying no. Read the rest of this entry »


SQUASHTACULAR

November 9, 2009
spicy squash casserole served 3

Squash all resistance to your charms!

Some knucklehead who probably hasn’t seen a naked woman since his subscription to National Geographic ran out told me squash ain’t sexy.  Granted it doesn’t pack the same luscious sex appeal as an oyster or fig, but damnit, squash has gotten me laid plenty of times.  Squash is the perfect fall ingredient to prep you for the cold winter that lies ahead.  They are inexpensive, tasty and versatile as a bisexual Cirque du Soleil performer.  My problem is that I keep going back to my classic squash dishes.  But you gotta break out of routine, no matter how awesome that routine might be, if you hope to attain glory.  This little Frankenstein’s monster brought honor to my family; my reputation as a lady-slayer stands untarnished.  It was spicy, sweet and comforting all at the same time.  My one caution is that this side dish very well may outclass the rest of your meal.  So cook with bravado!

Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Hot Cider with a splash of bourbon

spicy squash casserole prepIngredients (serves 4):
1. 1 apple
2. 2 dashes CAYENNE PEPPER
3. 1 dash salt
4. 2 dashes cinnamon
5. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
6. 3 petit pan squash
7. 4 globe squash
8. 2 large handfuls shredded mozzarella
9. 3 garlic cloves sliced thinly

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350°F/175°C.  Slice the ends off the globe squash and cut into thin rounds.  Do the same for the petit pan squash.  Toss the squash with the garlic, olive oil, cayenne pepper and salt.  Lay them out in a large flat baking pan.
spicy squash casserole squashes
Step 2
Core and slice up the apple into thin slices.  Lay them evenly over the squash and season with cinnamon.  Scatter the cheese across evenly and you’re ready to rumble.
spicy squash casserole apple cheese
Step 3
Throw the casserole in the oven and bake until the apples and squash soften, and the cheese melts (approx 30 min).
spicy squash casserole bake
Serve as a kickass side to any number of outstanding ENTRÉES. You could eat it solo, it’s that good.
spicy squash casserole served 2

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