March 28, 2016
You gotta lick it before you zucchini stick it!
I’m not trying to be crass. It’s just an open invitation for your tongue. Do what you gotta, but the door is always open. This is for your benefit after all. Much like Christmas or Hanukkah, I get way more pleasure giving than receiving. I assure you this arrangement will be mutually beneficial and your tongue will likely be writing me a thank you note or, at the very least, a Facebook poke. When your tongue is done licking, you’ll be good to go for any number of sporting events or tailgating parties. Then you’ll be the one whose stick all the cool kids want to lick. Monday football never tasted so naughty!
Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Beer or BANGARITA
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. ¼ cup breadcrumbs
3. Ranch dressing to dip
4. 1 dash black pepper
5. 1 dash garlic salt
6. 2 dashes dry BASIL flakes
7. 2 dashes CAYENNE PEPPER
8. 1 zucchini
9. 2 eggs
Preheat the oven to 450°F/230°C. Cut the ends off the zucchini and then cut into bite-sized sticks.
Create the breading by combining the breadcrumbs, black pepper, garlic salt, basil and cayenne pepper. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs.
Grease a pan with olive oil. Dip each zucchini stick in eggs and then roll in the breading. Place each stick in the pan, leaving room between them. Throw them in the oven and bake until the breading browns (approx 7-10 min).
Serve this lower-fat FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY up with the ranch and score a touchdown.
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES, spicy, sports, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, appetizer, baked zucchini sticks, bang, banging, basil, black pepper, breadcrumbs, calivirgin, cayenne pepper, Christmas, cool kids, delicious, DIY, easy, eggs, facebook, finger food, food, game changer, garlic salt, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, Hanukah, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, lick, lick my zucchini stick recipe, Monday night football, naked, olive oil, poke, ranch dressing, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, squash, tailgating, tasty, tongue, yummy, zucchini, zucchini sticks recipe | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
February 3, 2016
Bust a nut with some butternut
“I think I’m gonna bust a nut all over this squash! Can’t hold back any more. Oh yeah, here it comes. Mmm mmm. Damn this soup hits the spot every time.” This is the typical reaction you get when you make this during wintertime. The butternut is the sexiest, tastiest, most sultry member of the squash family. It absorbs flavor like a champ and becomes velvety when cooked right. And when you roast it, good god does it drip with sex appeal. There aren’t adjectives provocative enough to sum up cooking roasted butternut squash into a soup so I’ll leave that filthy fantasy to the individual chef. This soup has gotten me through the leanest of times with some lovelies with countless requests for sequels. One ex tried to get this recipe before we broke up, but I refused so she left in a huff never to be seen again. Roxanne*, if you’re reading this, here’s the recipe finally available to any and all. Enjoy, and give your cat my best. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | HOT LIQUID LOVE, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: bang, butternut, Butternut squash soup, delicious, easy, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, hearty, hot, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, leftovers, naked, post-coital, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, soup, spice, squash, vegan, vegetables, vegetarian, veggies, warm, warming, winter, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 9, 2009
Squash all resistance to your charms!
Some knucklehead who probably hasn’t seen a naked woman since his subscription to National Geographic ran out told me squash ain’t sexy. Granted it doesn’t pack the same luscious sex appeal as an oyster or fig, but damnit, squash has gotten me laid plenty of times. Squash is the perfect fall ingredient to prep you for the cold winter that lies ahead. They are inexpensive, tasty and versatile as a bisexual Cirque du Soleil performer. My problem is that I keep going back to my classic squash dishes. But you gotta break out of routine, no matter how awesome that routine might be, if you hope to attain glory. This little Frankenstein’s monster brought honor to my family; my reputation as a lady-slayer stands untarnished. It was spicy, sweet and comforting all at the same time. My one caution is that this side dish very well may outclass the rest of your meal. So cook with bravado!
Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Hot Cider with a splash of bourbon
Ingredients (serves 4):
1. 1 apple
2. 2 dashes CAYENNE PEPPER
3. 1 dash salt
4. 2 dashes cinnamon
5. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
6. 3 petit pan squash
7. 4 globe squash
8. 2 large handfuls shredded mozzarella
9. 3 garlic cloves sliced thinly
Preheat the oven to 350°F/175°C. Slice the ends off the globe squash and cut into thin rounds. Do the same for the petit pan squash. Toss the squash with the garlic, olive oil, cayenne pepper and salt. Lay them out in a large flat baking pan.
Core and slice up the apple into thin slices. Lay them evenly over the squash and season with cinnamon. Scatter the cheese across evenly and you’re ready to rumble.
Throw the casserole in the oven and bake until the apples and squash soften, and the cheese melts (approx 30 min).
Serve as a kickass side to any number of outstanding ENTRÉES. You could eat it solo, it’s that good.
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, Cajun, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, southern, spicy, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, apple, bake, bang, banging, bisexual, bravado, calivirgin, casserole, cayenne pepper, cheese, cinnamon, cirque du soleil, dairy, delicious, DIY, easy, food, frankenstein’s monster, game changer, garlic, get laid, globe squash, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, mozzarella, naked, naked woman, national geographic, olive oil, petit pan squash, recipe, salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, side dish, spicy squash casserole, squash, squashtacular, tasty, toss, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang