November 18, 2015
Pimp my pumpkin like Cindarella’s, but with way more umph!
Halloween is upon us. Truth be told, I’d take Halloween over Christmas, Thanksgiving and Kwanzaa combined. Something about turning yourself into someone or something else just whets my appetite for destruction. Unspeakable acts of mayhem and perversion have occurred on my Halloween watch. The fact I don’t remember much of it seems beside the point. The pretentious side of me finds the whole transformation thing very Kafka, while the idiotic derelict in me just thinks it’s a great excuse become reckless. So I always apply this theory to my pumpkins each year. My Halloween tradition is to purchase two pumpkins, one to carve into sarcastic social commentary, and the other less pretty pumpkin I demand for free becomes something delicious. So I pimped my pumpkin into a soup with Thai-style flavor. The lucky lady who joined me for the jack-off-lantern carving party did agree and demonstrated her appreciation the old fashioned way…orally.
Total time: approximately 50 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: MO MOJO MOJITOS
Ingredients (for six):
1. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 4 cups chicken stock (use vegetable stock to make vegan)
3. 2 cups coconut milk
4. 2-3 lb pumpkin
5. Salt at your discretion
6. 1 teaspoon dried lemongrass
7. 1 onion chopped coarsely
8. 1 small handful of freshly sliced GINGER
9. Lime wedges to squeeze into soup
Step 1
Cut the ends off the pumpkin, skin it, slice in half, scoop out the seeds and gunk, and slice into chunks.
Step 2
Sauté the ginger and onions with 1 tbsp of olive oil, spicing it with lemongrass (approx 5 min). Add the pumpkin, throw in the remaining olive oil and sauté until the pumpkins soften (approx 7 min).
Step 3
Add the stock and bring to a boil. Turn the heat down low and simmer (approx 35 min). Puree the soup, add the coconut milk, and heat through. Squeeze some lime into each bowl you ladle up.
Serve up this with some Thai NOODLES and you’re sure to have a happy ending.
1 Comment | 
aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, fusion, HOT LIQUID LOVE, RECIPES, spicy, thai, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, appetite for destruction, bang, banging, calivirgin, chicken stock, coconut milk, delicious, DIY, easy, fall, food, game changer, get laid, ginger, gourmet, guarantee, Halloween, harvest, homemade, intercourse, jack-o-lantern, jack-off-lantern, kafka, kitchen, lemongrass, libido, limejuice, mayhem, naked, olive oil, onion, perversion, pimpin’ pumpkin soup recipe, puree, recipe, salt, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, soup, spicy, tasty, thai, thai style pumpkin soup recipe, Thailand, transformation, vegan, vegetarian, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
December 26, 2014
It’s Silly Willy the love dish, Horny thru and thru, Your tongue’s on fire you’re date’s turn on, Awe ee ooh ooh!
That silly willy gets all over the place! Feed it spicy food and watch it zoom around the room like a monkey on a meth/Viagra cocktail. Shenanigans shall ensue and it will get messy! But isn’t that why you make ridiculous culinary creations? You best inspire a fever-pitch amount of naked naughtiness with your vittles or surrender your libido. Seriously. Welcome to advanced Cook To Bang! This recipe is not for the microwave dinner daters. My uncle’s Indonesian wife Frida taught me this chili crab recipe/love potion cooked by men the night they propose to their future wives. The thought behind this is only a crazy woman lacking taste buds and common decency could turn you down after consuming food this awe-inspiring. I’m not saying Cook To Propose (although this would be a worthy dish), but expect you will own the night. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, Indonesian, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood, spicy | Tagged: awe-inspiring, bang, banging, blue crab, candlenuts, chili crab recipe, chilies, cook to propose, delicious, DIY, Dungeness crab, easy, eggs, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, ginger, gourmet, green onions, guarantee, homemade, indochine, Indonesia, Indonesian, intercourse, jalapeños, king crab legs, kitchen, lemongrass, libido, lime leaves, love potion, meth, monkey, naked, olive oil, propose, recipe, salt, scallops, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shallots, shellfish, southeast asia, spicy, tasty, tomato, turmeric, vegetable oil, Viagra, white pepper, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 23, 2013
Soba So Lucky So Good
There are bad carbs and good carbs. Some good carbs can be great carbs with the right amount of sex appeal. We’re about to take what is already damn good for you and make it damn good for your culinary seduction game. Leave it to the Japanese to make noodles this banging on the healthy scale. They already brought us ninjas, sumo wrestling, and anime porn. No one should be surprised that their culinary innovations are as versatile as a geisha who goes from flower dancing to lap dancing. The addition of winter veggies creates an extra bonus like banging a hottie who can actually carry on a conversation other than shopping or sports. I think I’m in love, or just very hungry and horny. Either way, munch freely! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, healthy, Japanese, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: anime, asian, bang, banging, carbs, cilantro, delicious, DIY, easy, fish sauce, food, game changer, garlic, geisha, get laid, gourmet, green onion, guarantee, healthy, homemade, horny, hottie, hungry, I think I’m in love, intercourse, japan, Japanese, kitchen, lemongrass, libido, light, lime, naked, ninja, porn, rainbow chard, recipe, rice vinegar, seduce, SEDUCTION, sesame oil, sex, so banging soba noodles, soba noodle recipe, soba noodles, soy sauce, sumo wrestling, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, versatile, white radish, winter vegetable soba noodles, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Total time: approximately 50 minutes
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 