A HA! AHI SALAD

March 7, 2011
A ha!  The Ahi Salad has granted me powers heretofore unattainable!

A ha! The Ahi Salad has granted me powers heretofore unattainable!

Congratulations!  You have graduated to a higher plane of salad making.  Now you refuse to settle for iceberg lettuce smothered in ranch dressing.  There is nothing nutritious nor sexy about that blasphemous culinary combination.  No, you are a sophisticated salad eater that wants great taste with enough nutrients to allow you to survive a nuclear famine in style.  Hopefully the date you have chosen to share this with is on the same page because this salad requires 110% commitment.  I have faith that as a reader of COOK TO BANG you are in fact ready to blow them away and get blown in the process.  So get down to business and take this radical new approach to salad making.  When you become a superhero that can hear a mosquito fart in another state you won’t have to question how this came to be.  Just go with it.  I’m so <wipes away tear> proud of you! Read the rest of this entry »


SLOB ON MY KNOBBLER COBBLER

March 21, 2009
Don't be a slob, bob on my knob!

Don't be a slob, bob on my knob!

You read that right.  Why pussyfoot around the subject when we all know what this is about?  Sweet action satisfaction!  This cobbler is sure to earn you the type of brownie points you can cash in for attention of the oral kind.  Of course I’m talking about having your date hand feed you cobbler.  What?  You thought I was being inappropriate and crass?  Me?  A guy who writes a recipe blog called Cook To Bang?  Get your filthy mind out of the gutter!  I am merely trying to provide my beloved readers with upright (or is it uptight?) family values recipes to bring to their Bible groups.  And lord knows this dessert is sure to get your date to scream out, “Oh God!”

mango-cobbler-prepTotal time: approximately 50 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Dust off that bottle of wine and get to the banging already!

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. ½ cup of oats
2. 3 tablespoons of brown sugar
3. 2 handfuls of mango chunks
4. 1/3 of a stick of butter
5. 1 handful of shelled pistachios
6. 1 tablespoon of flour (not pictured, sue me)

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Create the crust by melting the butter in a small pot on medium heat.  Dump in the brown sugar and stil until it becomes like molasses.  Dump in the oats and pistachios and allow the butter and sugar to cook into them (approx 1 minutes).  Mix in the flour, stir for a moment, and then turn off the heat.
mango-cobbler-brown-betty
Step 2
Stuff the mango chunks into 2 small oven-safe bowls or ramekins.  Use a spoon to lay the crusts over the top of each bowl and press down so it is all contained.  Place these into the oven with something underneath like a baking sheet to catch any spillage.  Bake until the crust hardens and caramelizes (approx 40 minutes), then remove from oven, allow to cool, and serve up.  Bonus points if you listen to Depeche Mode a la mode while you eat it
mango-cobbler-bake

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