FORBIDDEN FRUIT SALAD

April 16, 2015
Bear fruit before you bare all

Bear fruit before you bare all

You should know better. This salad is reserved for the harvest Gods.  But you eat it anyway.  Sinner.  Man should not have access to a salad this powerful. The discovery of this recipe is akin to Prometheus giving man fire.  Sure I’ll have to wash a mountain of dishes for all eternity, but knowing you might serve this to a hot date makes it all worth it.  Ye shall reap the glory from this culinary gem heretofore unattainable.  It’s the only ammunition you’ll need for a successful conquest.  The Forbidden Fruit Salad has delivered for me on more than on occasion, sexing up a few dull BREAKFASTS and lunches.  This represents one of my favorite fruit combinations, but I encourage you to try your favorite.  Did I mention this ultra-healthy salad will make certain bodily secretions taste way better? Read the rest of this entry »


FRUITAY BOOTAY SALAD

September 17, 2013

fruity-booty-salad-served-22

Get ready for a booty quake that will shake your whole neighborhood.  Be sure that you take precautionary measures while making this salad like wearing safety goggles, a fireproof apron and remain under a doorway.  You don’t want blunt objects falling from the cabinet.  Concussions really aren’t as sexy as celebrities make them out to be.  But still 9 out of 10 famous people agree that this salad gets them hot and bothered.  Their overpaid asses move, groove and behoove you to adore them.  Go with it.  Each bite is a fruity journey to the center of your pleasure dome.  Serve this salad only to those whose asses you are keen to see shake in the moonlight.  Otherwise your retinas may burn from an unspeakable spectacle. Read the rest of this entry »