April 16, 2015
Bear fruit before you bare all
You should know better. This salad is reserved for the harvest Gods. But you eat it anyway. Sinner. Man should not have access to a salad this powerful. The discovery of this recipe is akin to Prometheus giving man fire. Sure I’ll have to wash a mountain of dishes for all eternity, but knowing you might serve this to a hot date makes it all worth it. Ye shall reap the glory from this culinary gem heretofore unattainable. It’s the only ammunition you’ll need for a successful conquest. The Forbidden Fruit Salad has delivered for me on more than on occasion, sexing up a few dull BREAKFASTS and lunches. This represents one of my favorite fruit combinations, but I encourage you to try your favorite. Did I mention this ultra-healthy salad will make certain bodily secretions taste way better? Read the rest of this entry »
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Posted by cooktobang
January 9, 2015
He will massage your mornings and satiate your soul.
Your mornings will never be the same once Mr. Morning Magic Hour takes control. He is sure to wow and might even sing opera classics if you ask nicely. The date you hosted is catching up on asleep after an exhausting night of physical activity. You wore ‘em out being incendiary in the sack. Your plan is to keep it going all afternoon and into the evening, but you both need fuel for that triumph. So bring the delectable lunatic lothario out of retirement and serve him up on a plate. Sure you could serve the same ingredients on a plate without the face, but why? You might as well become a eunuch and expire watching CSPAN. Bring some flare back to breakfast and let Mr. Magic out of his cage. AVE MARIA!!! Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | RECIPES | Tagged: avocado, bacon, bacon mustache, bang, bread, breakfast, breakfast face, butter, cspan, delicious, DIY, early, easy, eggs, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, immature, intercourse, kitchen, kiwi, lothario, morning, Mr. morning magic hour, naked, parsley, recipe, seduce, sex, silly, sustenance, tasty, toast, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 25, 2014
It will melt in your mouth, your date will melt in your hands.
You know you’re in for a wild ride as soon as this melty concoction hits the tip of your tongue. The first bite should make it clear that you ain’t eating your grandmother’s sandwich. No siree! We’re talking about the next step in culinary evolution. Combining fruit, meat and cheese on bread was the inevitable next step in tasty temptations. Sure you could just make a tuna melt that would put your date to sleep long before you can lay the mack down. But why not just stick your genitals in the freezer? You won’t be needing those anyway. Our world of convenience and innovation demands that you take a few extra steps to get what you REALLY want. This sandwich will only take you a few extra minutes, which will be paid for in dividends when you are reclined, sweaty and gasping for air. This kiwi melt should melt resistance and clothes right off. What are you waiting for? Make New Zealand proud! Read the rest of this entry »
7 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, french, fusion, RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: bacon, bang, banging, brie, cheese, dairy, delicious, DIY, easy, English muffin, evolution, fast, fig jam, food, freezer, fruit, game changer, genitals, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, kiwi, kiwi melt in your mouth recipe, kiwi melt recipe, libido, mack, melty, naked, new zealand, recipe, sandwich, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sinwich, tasty, tasty temptation, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 17, 2013
Get ready for a booty quake that will shake your whole neighborhood. Be sure that you take precautionary measures while making this salad like wearing safety goggles, a fireproof apron and remain under a doorway. You don’t want blunt objects falling from the cabinet. Concussions really aren’t as sexy as celebrities make them out to be. But still 9 out of 10 famous people agree that this salad gets them hot and bothered. Their overpaid asses move, groove and behoove you to adore them. Go with it. Each bite is a fruity journey to the center of your pleasure dome. Serve this salad only to those whose asses you are keen to see shake in the moonlight. Otherwise your retinas may burn from an unspeakable spectacle. Read the rest of this entry »
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Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 