May 31, 2011
Eat enough of this salad and you'll be like Popeye, banging Olive Oil until Wimpy hits you up for more burger money.
The object to any CTB meal is to wow your date into submitting to your carnal cravings. Their heads’ gotta spin like a GI Joe helicoptering after you twist him around until the rubber band almost snaps. Serve something forgettable, and you can forget any extracurricular activities. I don’t even waste my time with anything that might as well have been nuked from a Hungry Man Dinner. You shouldn’t either unless you prefer servicing yourself rather than have a smoking hot bombshell do it for you. Take this spinach salad. Sure I could have assembled a pre-made package in the time it would take to prematurely ejaculate (at least you’d get off). But a spinach salad that tastes like an angel floated down, fed you, and then gave you a reach around is more my speed. I wager those of you who enjoy similar celestial satisfaction will agree. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | 
healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES | Tagged: angelic, angels, bacon, bang, banging, black pepper, bombshell, carnal cravings, delicious, DIY, easy, eggs, feta cheese, food, game changer, get laid, gi joe, gourmet, greens, guarantee, healthy, helicopter, homemade, hungry man dinner, intercourse, kitchen, libido, makes head spinach salad, memorable, microwave, mushrooms, naked, premature ejaculation, recipe, rogerings, salad, salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, spinach salad recipe, tasty, toss your salad, yummy | 
Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 28, 2009
The man in the black pajamas makes a mean sandwich. Don't flavor with napalm!
“You want boom boom?” asked two Vietnamese hookers on a moped. I was in Hanoi, trekking around in search of mayhem and kick ass pho (Vietnamese noodle soup). I don’t pay for sex. No offense to those who hire whore now and again. My charm and cooking skills are enough to get girls naked. But these two young trollops were hot and the mathematical possibilities enticing it. So I asked them, “Will you love me long time?” They nodded and beckoned me to get on the back of their motorbike. So I countered, “Are you so horny?” Damn straight they were. The cherry on top was when I asked them to call me “Soldier boy.” One said, “We give you boom boom, soldier boy.” The other added, “Me so horny. We love you long time.” I had a Full Metal Jacket growth in my pants, but contracting GI Joe Kung Fu grip wasn’t recommended in my Lonely Planet guide. So I declined their offer for boom boom. Instead I got this chicken sandwich from a street vendor that was amazing, although not quite as interesting as the international incident I passed up. To all the girls I have banged since…You’re Welcome!
Total time: approximately 20 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Beer or a PANTY DROPPING SHANDY
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 sandwich rolls
2. 1 tsp lemon juice
3. 1 tsp soy sauce
4. 1 tsp oyster sauce
5. 1 tsp fish sauce
6. ½ onion chopped coarsely
7. 1 carrot sliced thinly
8. 1 tomato sliced thinly
9. 2 chicken breasts
10. 1 handful shredded coconut
11. 1 handful cilantro chopped finely
12. 1 CHILI diced finely
13. 1 tbsp vegetable oil (not pictured, St. Peter has already taken note)
Step 1
Mince the chicken and then marinate with cilantro, chili, onion, coconut, soy sauce, fish sauce, oyster sauce and lemon juice (approx 15 min).
Step 2
Cook the chicken thoroughly with vegetable oil (approx 5 min). Slice open the bread rolls and stuff the chicken into them. Add the tomato and carrot slices and shut the sandwich, soldier boy.
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, asian, french, fusion, poultry, RECIPES, SINWICHES, vietnamese | Tagged: aphrodisiac, Asia, bang, banging, carrot, chicken, chili, cilantro, coconut, delicious, DIY, easy, fish sauce, food, game changer, get laid, gi joe, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, hooker, intercourse, kitchen, kung fu grip, lemon juice, libido, lonely planet, love you long time, me so horny, moped, motorbike, naked, nam, onion, oyster sauce, prostitute, recipe, sandwich roll, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, Soldier boy sinwich, southeast asia, soy sauce, tasty, tomato, vegetable oil, viet cong, Vietnam, Vietnamese chicken sandwich recipe, whore, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 