March 23, 2016
A big pig ate figs down to my twig and berries.
I ain’t too proud to admit I’ve porked some sows in my day. Who of you can claim you never once compromising your standards in the pursuit of ass? That lone ranger stoically standing all alone on the hill can pat his/herself on the back. The rest of you know what I’m talking about. Like I said, these are not my proudest moments. But I believe in living life free of regret. So what if my friends taunted me mercilessly? There are photos floating somewhere out there of me in college dressed like Hugh Hefner sucking face with what was described to me as “an oompa loompa in a cheerleader costume”. It was Halloween, damnit! Jack Daniels was the bastard responsible. Thank goodness there are compromises like this pizza. It packs a wallop of flavor from the prosciutto and figs, but minimal carbs. Now you can have your pig, eat it too, and not be embarrassed to admit it your friends.
Total time: approximately 12 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Red wine, sucka!
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 lavash flatbread
2. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
3. 1 slice prosciutto
4. 4 long slices Brie cheese
5. 4 FIGS sliced thinly
6. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
Preheat oven to 350°F/175°C. Rub olive oil into the flatbread and scatter the green onion, figs, prosciutto, and Brie slices.
Bake the pizza in the oven until the edges brown (approx 10 min). Remove from the oven and cut into 6-8 slices.
Serve up as FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY or as a warm up to some stunning ENTRÉE.
September 28, 2015
Embrace the vodka on your plate and in your glass
This Italian mafia recipe will never sleep with the fishes. This vodka penne is “a friend of mine” because it’s tasty and easy to prepare. The only thing getting whacked is the pig used to make the prosciutto. Lucky you. Be sure to remind your date knows how lucky they are to enjoy this fine dish from the old country. The vodka flatters the tomatoes and garlic with compliments, plus you can challenge your date to take shots while you cook. Think you can make an easier, tastier vodka penne from scratch? Forget about it! Read the rest of this entry »
November 6, 2012
Yes you will!
Cook To Bang is taking a day off from sexy talk to brandish you with self-indulgent politics aside. Forgive the latte liberal over here and vote. The US was founded on this inalienable right. The last four years were hard. It might seem that unfortunate circumstances are cock-blocking your future. Remember that out of tragedy comes opportunity. Innovation is the bastard child of inconvenience. So when bread goes stale, make CROUTONS. Burn the chicken and you got one awesome meal for the dog. If the condom breaks…never mind. Always trust your instincts, follow your heart and life will rewards you. And never ever skip out on the finer things in life, like COOKING AND BANGING. Read the rest of this entry »