This sexy dish was inspired by a mango chicken curry I had at an Indian restaurant in Sydney, Australia. I’m not sure if it was the food or the beautiful waitress who served it to me, but something changed in me that day. And I’m not just talking about the growth in my pants. Mango and curry together unlock something primal. Sweet, spicy and sensual. You really can’t go wrong serving a date this…unless you accidentally spill the contents in their lap. This happened to me. But my date was more hungry than outraged so all was forgiven the moment she took her first bite. I did have to dab up the mess on designer jeans. But you form an intimate bond once you’ve cleaned curry off someone’s crotch. Plus I removed my pants to make her feel more comfortable while her jeans were in the wash. I’m empathetic like that. Read the rest of this entry »
Much props to New Zealanders for being so lovable. Here’s looking at you Bret and Jemaine! Those kiwis are a treat to be around, especially in their home turf. I visited Queenstown, NZ a while back and was taken a back by the natural beauty of the place. The mountains and lakes and rivers and shit were nice too. Kiwi girls got that organically cute look going on fun and are always up for it, whatever ìitî may be. A drunken lout I met at a Sydney party told me right before I flew to New Zealand, ìWhen you tap a kiwi on the shoulder her panties fall down.î Thanks for the tip, Aussie Aussie, oi oi! He was right. And not only that, Kiwi girls, at least the one I met in Queenstown, did me one better. She dragged me out of the bar, banged me like her forefathers banged their sheep, and then fed me after. Bang to Cook. What she served me was reminiscent of this little ditty. Fresh kiwis served as a decadent dessert hit the spot before I was dragged back to bed for round 2 through 14.
Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 2 tbsp brown sugar
2. 1 tsp garam masala*
3. 2 tbsp margarine
4. 8 kiwis
*Indian spice made of cumin, coriander, cardamom, peppercorn, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and saffron
Cut off the ends of the kiwi, slice down one side, and remove the peels. Cut the kiwis in half and you are ready to rumble.
On low heat, melt the margarine, add the brown sugar and garam masala, and stir into a syrup. Add the slices of kiwi and sauté in the syrup until the kiwis soften and the color starts to fade (approx 20 min). Serve solo or over ice cream or another desert that needs some extra boom-shaka-laka.