Rice pudding is comfort food. Comfort = connection. Connection= banging. You can’t argue with sound logic. Granted, rice pudding isn’t as sexy as a chocolate soufflé or crème brule. But it warms the heart and inspires the mind. That is the conclusion I came to when I served this dessert to a date I assumed was a total prude. She was a colder fish than the chilled cocktail shrimp I served as an appetizer. Not even the MO’ LAYS CHICKEN MOLE could get her to flirt back. I was ready to admit defeat (something I rarely do) and show her to the door. But then I broke out the rice pudding I had chilling in the fridge. The ice in my frigid date’s heart and the block of ice between her legs thawed. She made the first move and the second and…let’s just say I felt a little violated after. Good thing I had more rice pudding to comfort me when she left after using me for sex. Read the rest of this entry »
RICE PUDDING POONTANGJanuary 13, 2016
BANGO YOUR MANGO CHICKEN CURRYDecember 15, 2014
This sexy dish was inspired by a mango chicken curry I had at an Indian restaurant in Sydney, Australia. I’m not sure if it was the food or the beautiful waitress who served it to me, but something changed in me that day. And I’m not just talking about the growth in my pants. Mango and curry together unlock something primal. Sweet, spicy and sensual. You really can’t go wrong serving a date this…unless you accidentally spill the contents in their lap. This happened to me. But my date was more hungry than outraged so all was forgiven the moment she took her first bite. I did have to dab up the mess on designer jeans. But you form an intimate bond once you’ve cleaned curry off someone’s crotch. Plus I removed my pants to make her feel more comfortable while her jeans were in the wash. I’m empathetic like that. Read the rest of this entry »
YOU’RE THE BOMB-AY SINWICHDecember 12, 2011
Namaste, my friends! I hope your lovers have their bags packed for India. One bite and you shall be transported away to a mystical land full of Gods, elephants and tuk-tuk cabs. The doughy goodness of the naan perfectly compliments the mango chutney, which all comes together with a paprika spiced chicken breast. This sandwich was inspired by 1 month I spent in India earlier this year. The sights, the sounds, the flavors and smells smacked me upside the head with pleasure. Clearly this country of 1 billion has much to teach the kitchen Casanovas of the world (count on many more India-inspired posts). The passion the good people of India approach life is something we could all take note of. My advice is to incorporate this dish into your repertoire, much like the positions of the Kama Sutra. Ghandi would be proud. Read the rest of this entry »
BANGING FLURRY EGGPLANT CURRYNovember 2, 2009
For me, banging comes in waves. Sometimes I’m banging everything sexy in a 10-mile radius. Other times I am sitting alone in the dark wondering why not even my D-List booty calls aren’t returning my texts. Peaks and valleys, strikes and gutters, dude. My advice for dealing with this is to capitalize on those moments when you can bang the hottest piece of ass even wearing filthy sweatpants and crocs. Savor these times as if they were your last and by god man, bang them good and proper so they don’t vanish and tarnish your reputation as a lousy lay. Winter can be a lonely mistress. The best solution is to warm yourself back up with the spice of life. Nothing gets that done quite like spicy food and a hot snuggle buddy or three. When the snow flurries keep you inside, be sure to have something warm and sexy to flurry on.
Total time: approximately 40 minutes
Projected cost: $20
Drinking Buddy: Beer or a mango lassi
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. ½ cup plain yogurt
3. 1 tsp ground cumin
4. 1 tbsp curry powder
5. 1 handful chopped cilantro
6. 1 onion chopped coarsely
7. 1 large eggplant
8. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
9. 1 small handful GINGER finely chopped
10. 2 garlic cloves finely chopped
11. CHILI PEPPERS at your discretion
Preheat the oven to 450°F/230°C. Throw the eggplant in the oven and roast until the eggplant softens (approx 30 min). Remove from the oven, allow to cool, peel away the skin, and then cut the meat into bite-sized cubes.
Sauté the onions with the cumin, garlic and ginger until they soften (approx 3 min). Throw in the tomatoes and cook until they stew (approx 2 min)
Throw in the eggplant, spice with the curry powder and chili pepper and cook in the flavor (approx 3 min). Add the yogurt and cook until it all becomes creamy curry goodness (approx 2 min). Throw in the cilantro and you are good to go.
Serve this curry dish with your favorite RICE DISH or some delicious naan.