Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

The mystique of aphrodisiacs have been cock-blocked by science.  But genuine physiological effects that made these ingredients magical in the Ancient World still yield results today.  Below is an overview of these gifts from the love gods:

•    ARTICHOKES were reserved only for men in 16th Century Europe because of the sexual power they presumably granted.  Thanks to modern, science we know they merely freshen your breath and detoxify your liver thanks to the cornucopia of vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals packed into every bite.
•    ASPARAGUS is a natural Viagra.  17th Century UK naturalist Nicholas Culpepper hailed asparagus for “stir(ring) up lust in man and woman.”  The magical vegetable is loaded with potassium and Vitamin A that boost sex drives and the folic acid produces histamines that increase the power of an orgasm.
•    AVOCADOS contains fiber, folate, vitamins B6, C and E, beta-sitosterol and glutathione, which can enhance feelings of love and romance.  The Aztecs used avocados as a cholesterol-free, sodium-free, sexual stimulant, which just so happens to make most meals from salad to sandwiches taste way sexier.
•    BASIL aids circulation, which can stimulate sex drives and increase fertility in women.  The scent drives men bat-shit insane so women in ancient times dusted their breasts with powdered basil when they were on the prowl.  Hey now!
•    BEETS have been used since Roman times to increase male virility due to their high boron content.  “Take favors in the beetroot fields” was a popular early 20th Century euphemism for visiting prostitutes.
•    BLACK BEANS contain enough protein, fiber and folic acid to get our blood going, plus plenty of the amino acid tryptophan to relax us and get us in the mood.
•    CHILES increase your heart rate that can enhance your pleasure receptors and releases endorphins that can make you feel energized or like you’re floating (or banging).  No wonder Montezuma drank it in his hot cocoa before paying a visit to his harem.
•    CHOCOLATE gets the heart rate up, increases blood flow and creates a natural feeling of well-being, euphoria, and with any luck, wanton lust.  Ancient Aztec’s thought it invigorated men and made women less inhibited and they consumed it before battle or intense rounds of sexual activity.
•    COFFEE has similar physiological effects in women that oysters cause in men: it turns them on.  The female libido can be supercharged for second and thirds with some caffeinated beans and sensual words.  Another cup of Joe, babe?
•    FIGS are a killer source of flavonoids, polyphenols, and antioxidants that help you go long and strong.  They look like a woman’s unmentionables, symbolized fertility in Ancient Greece and drove Cleopatra randy.  Many biblical historians wager that the fig originated in the Garden of Eden. Talk about a forbidden fruit!
•    GINGER has turned on most civilizations including the Chinese, Greek, Roman and Indian where it was hailed in the Kama Sutra.  The root’s arousing scent and health benefits does a male body good, increasing heart rate and perspiration (like in sex) and gets the blood flowing to your extremities, naughty parts included.
•    GRAPES were getting people off way before records were ever kept.  Just ask the Egyptians or Greeks or Romans who can attest to the effectiveness of feeding this anti-oxidant finger food to their lovers.  And we haven’t even touched on the subject of wine yet!
•    HONEY is rich in Vitamin B (root of testosterone) and boron (helps body process estrogen) so both sexes are covered.  It was the nectar of Aphrodite and medieval couples would channel their inner Barry White by drinking mead.  Why do you think they call it a honeymoon?
•    OYSTERS contain high levels of zinc that increase male potency, along with D-aspartic acid and NMDA compounds that can release hormones like testosterone and estrogen.  The fact that oysters resemble female genitalia is beside the point.
•    PINE NUTS are rich in zinc like oysters and have a long history as a natural Viagra.  These magical nuts have been used in medieval European love potions and the beds of Arabian lovers.
•    ROSEMARY is high in iron, calcium, and Vitamin B6, which can increase blood circulation to the skin and increase one’s sensitivity to touch.  It’s powerful scent plays on our scent memories, the strongest tie to emotional and sexual experience.
•    SEAFOOD of any variety has long been considered aphrodisiacs since Ancient Greece because Aphrodite was born of the sea.  Beyond tasting amazing, fish and shellfish are rich in protein and omega-3 fatty acids that kick cancer’s ass so surely they can help defeat a little erectile dysfunction.
•    STRAWBERRIES are not technically aphrodisiacs, but they are edible valentines shaped like hearts.  They were a symbol of the Roman Goddess of love Venus and when dipped in chocolate they legitimately become aphrodisiac city.
•    WATERMELON have quantities of citrulline that trigger arginine, quite literally the Viagra chemical that causes blood to flow and libidos to pump.  No doubt, the fact that this refreshing fruit contains cancer-fighting nutrients like lycopene and beta-carotene will be lost on most.