This one goes out to all the carnivores out there with apologies to my vegan readers. After countless e-mails demanding carnage and threats to my life from the Beef lobbying arm, I have snapped to like a scared little lamb. Or was that calf? Rubbing hunks of meat up and down with tender care is a delicate art like origami or sword swallowing. So I caution you to take it ever so slowly, never rushing the process until it’s go time. When it’s finally time to put your meat to the heat, then you better be quick on your toes. Pan searing to perfection is no joke, blokes. Be quick on your feet and never miss a beat if you intend for your eats to end the night sweet. Somewhere in the distance a single tear rolls down a delicious cow’s cheek. Read the rest of this entry »
RUB MY RIB EYE STEAKNovember 2, 2015
GET STUFFED & BUST-A-NUT SQUASHJanuary 12, 2010
This main dish is meant for your main squeeze. Don’t prepare this outstanding entrée for one of your breezies on the side. The effort and effect are not worth it unless you want them to get hooked on you. It goes back to the essence of the Cook To Bang philosophy. Eat amazing food; have amazing sex. This hearty dish is perfect for a winter evening in. Why would you go out when you have the two essentials for a perfect night of carnal lust and consumption? At least that’s what I discovered when I laid this culinary mack down on a girl I’m seeing. She hasn’t stopped calling, texting, sexting, and facebooking since. Homegirl is officially addicted…to me. Ever since, I’ve been getting stuffed and busting nuts all over the place. Use this dish cautiously, unless you are eager to build your own harem.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Red red wine
Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 3 tbsp olive oil
2. 1 dash CAYENNE PEPPER
3. 1 butternut squash
4. 2 dashes black pepper
5. 3 dashes sea salt
6. 2 GREENSBURY MARKET organic chicken breasts
7. 1 pear
8. 2 large carrots
9. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
10. 1 lime wedge
Preheat your oven to 350∞F/175∞C. Slice the squash lengthwise and scoop out the guts, leaving a nice cavity. Rub olive oil into each half, and then salt and pepper them and roast until the squash meat is soft (approx 30 min).
While the squash roasts, cube the chicken and marinate in limejuice, cayenne pepper, and sea salt (approx 10 min).
Peel the carrots and chop into bite-sized pieces. Slice the pears thinly. SautÈ the carrots and pears until they soften (approx 5 min). Add the chicken and sautÈ thoroughly.
Finally scoop the sautÈed chicken and veggies into the cavities of the squash (once soft) and throw back in the oven and roast until it’s all heated through (approx 5 min). Crown each with green onions and serve.
This ENTRÉE kills it on it’s own, but a simple SALAD could shoot your date’s lust into the stratosphere.
HOT LIKE A CHEETAH FAJITA SINWICHDecember 21, 2009
There are some people out there too fine for their own good. You know the type I’m talking about. It’s as if they are cursed to roam the earth surrounded by an unsightly subspecies, the rest of us. That’s how I feel every time I’m around someone so stunning, I wonder if perhaps my sins were not too great to exclude me from a heaven membership. Fat chance of that. The beta person would not dare try to engage the near-mythical sexual creature for fear of abject humiliation. But I always take the “fake it ‘til you make it” approach, which sometimes pays back in decadent dividends. When you do step up to the plate, be ready to knock it out of the park by having a plan. I’m cocky about my cooking skills. So with swagger and spitfire I invite the sexier-than-thou and let them know not coming to my place for some grub will be their loss. No cheetah will deny the rarefied opportunity to sample your fajita sandwich.
Total time: approximately 25 minutes
Projected cost: $6
1. Mayonnaise to taste
2. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
3. 4 dashes fajita seasoning
4. 2 sandwich rolls
5. 2 GREENSBURY MARKET organic chicken breasts
6. 1 onion sliced in long strips
7. 1 red bell pepper sliced in long strips
8. 1 lime wedge
9. 1 small handful cilantro chopped coarsely
10. 1/2 AVOCADO sliced thinly
11. 1 tomato sliced thinly.
Slice the chicken breasts into long thin strips and marinate in limejuice and 1/2 the fajita
seasoning (approx 15 min).
Sauté the onion, bell pepper and cilantro in olive oil until they soften (approx 4 min). Create room in the pan and sauté the chicken next to but separate from the veggies (approx 3 min).
Assemble the sandwich. First split the rolls down the top, and then spread mayo as needed. Stuff each roll with veggies, chicken, tomato and avocado.
Serve this gringo twist on a Mexican classic with a some GARLICKABLE FRIES.