Cook To Bang is nothing without its readership. If a recipe helps someone bang in the woods and no one is there to film it, does it make a moaning sound? I’ll leave that to the philosophers far wiser than me to answer. A massive shout out is due to my man DJ JD of Ottawa, Canada for this recipe. Homeboy came through with a unique and outstanding recipe when I needed it most. I make a point of not dating vegans since they severely limit my palette. But this particular vegan’s beauty is outclassed only by her cheeky personality. Naturally, a classy specimen of humanity deserves a little leeway. So after racking my sex-addled brain for a vegan recipe, I found JD’s email and took it for a test drive. Hot damn! This butternut squash soup made both our heads spin with glee. The vegan vixen was more than pleased. If Cooking To Bang was an Olympic event, JD just won the gold. CUE “Oh, Canada!” Read the rest of this entry »
BUTTER-MY-NUTS SQUASH SOUPOctober 3, 2014
GET STUFFED & BUST-A-NUT SQUASHJanuary 12, 2010
This main dish is meant for your main squeeze. Don’t prepare this outstanding entrée for one of your breezies on the side. The effort and effect are not worth it unless you want them to get hooked on you. It goes back to the essence of the Cook To Bang philosophy. Eat amazing food; have amazing sex. This hearty dish is perfect for a winter evening in. Why would you go out when you have the two essentials for a perfect night of carnal lust and consumption? At least that’s what I discovered when I laid this culinary mack down on a girl I’m seeing. She hasn’t stopped calling, texting, sexting, and facebooking since. Homegirl is officially addicted…to me. Ever since, I’ve been getting stuffed and busting nuts all over the place. Use this dish cautiously, unless you are eager to build your own harem.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Red red wine
Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 3 tbsp olive oil
2. 1 dash CAYENNE PEPPER
3. 1 butternut squash
4. 2 dashes black pepper
5. 3 dashes sea salt
6. 2 GREENSBURY MARKET organic chicken breasts
7. 1 pear
8. 2 large carrots
9. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
10. 1 lime wedge
Preheat your oven to 350∞F/175∞C. Slice the squash lengthwise and scoop out the guts, leaving a nice cavity. Rub olive oil into each half, and then salt and pepper them and roast until the squash meat is soft (approx 30 min).
While the squash roasts, cube the chicken and marinate in limejuice, cayenne pepper, and sea salt (approx 10 min).
Peel the carrots and chop into bite-sized pieces. Slice the pears thinly. SautÈ the carrots and pears until they soften (approx 5 min). Add the chicken and sautÈ thoroughly.
Finally scoop the sautÈed chicken and veggies into the cavities of the squash (once soft) and throw back in the oven and roast until it’s all heated through (approx 5 min). Crown each with green onions and serve.
This ENTRÉE kills it on it’s own, but a simple SALAD could shoot your date’s lust into the stratosphere.
ROAST-A-NUT SQUASHJanuary 13, 2009
Because one BUTTERNUT SQUASH recipe is never enough. This squash is way too tasty and silky for only one trip around the kitchen. Say you have a glorious ENTRÉE already planned. The wine is picked out. The table was set this morning in anticipation for the amazing evening that lies ahead. But alas, you can’t figure out what to serve with your meal that is classy and delicious. You, my friends (in John McCain voice), are in luck! This dish is hands off and can be prepared passively while you bust out your extraordinary closer recipe. Just be sure to give yourself plenty of time for the squash to roast, and thus fill up your kitchen with sexy smells that make the angels cry. Glory glory hallelujah on your plate. I made this dish last night for a beautiful, but squeamish vegetarian. She complained about the butter and Parmesan ingredients until she took her first bite. Then she took her second and third bites, and then finally she finished it off, inquiring if I had another. I did not have another Bust-a-Nut Squash, but we both got what we wanted. Amen to that!
**My cooking guru, Cookie Lewis and the News, taught me this dish. Her culinary skills make Emeril look like a pansy!
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Depends on what you serve with it, but I recommend whiskey, like America’s founding fathers
Ingredients (serves two):
1. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
2. 1 tablespoon of brown sugar
3. 1 tablespoon of butter
4. 3 garlic cloves diced
5. 1 healthy handful of Parmesan
6. 1 butternut squash split and gutted
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Spread olive oil on each side of the innards of the butternut squash. Scatter the garlic and brown sugar evenly throughout and cover each separately with tinfoil. Roast the squash halves until you can easily pierce the meat with a fork (approx 35 minutes).
Scoop out the roast butternut squash meat from the shells being sure to leave them in tact. Mix the squash meat with the butter and Parmesan, using a fork to mash it all together. Scoop the mixture back into the squash shells and salt and pepper as you like. Serve one re-stuffed butternut squash shell onto each plate confident that it tastes 100% CARBOLUSCIOUS!