March 9, 2016
Bob Cobb would be proud…or he might be rolling in his grave.
You can’t argue with a classic. The Cobb Salad is a staple of any lunch spot. But who says it can’t kick start a date into hyper drive? It certainly passes the health stress test with the fiber, protein and low-fat content. You almost forget how nourishing it is because each bite tastes like a magical mystery tour in your mouth. The crunch of the lettuce, creaminess of the bleu cheese, aphrodisiac avocado explosion, & meaty monkey business in the chicken and bacon all lead you to one conclusion: God-fucking-damn!
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $13
Drinking Buddy: Red wine or RAGING HARD ON LEMONADE
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. ½ head of romaine lettuce
2. 1 teaspoon of olive oil
3. 2 teaspoons of red wine vinegar
4. ½ teaspoon of black pepper
5. 1 teaspoon of Dijon mustard
6. 1 handful + 1 teaspoon of bleu cheese crumbled
7. 3 strips of cooked bacon
8. 1 cooked chicken breast, grilled or baked
9. 1 AVOCADO diced into bite-sized pieces
10. 1 hard-boiled egg
11. 1 tomato diced
Mix up the dressing by combining the Dijon mustard, ed wine vinegar, olive oil, black pepper and 1 teaspoon of blue cheese. Set aside.
Wash the romaine, cut off the stock, then cut bite-size pieces of lettuce, and line the bottom of a salad bowl. Throw the chopped tomato on top. Slice the egg thinly and spread them out evenly. Chop up the bacon into bits and spread it out too. Chop the chicken breast into bite-sized pieces and scatter those on top. Do the same with a handful of blue cheese and crown it all with avocado.
Serve up the plates of salad, tonging up a plateful as is. DO NOT TOSS! You want the layers of Cobb glory to shine like a Tiffany diamond. Scoop in your desired amount of dressing and let the good times roll.
February 2, 2011
Roquefort and Roll out of bed after a night of unspeakable acts.
This salad will rock her world. It will also rock his world. And its world should your dog eat it before you can. It’s like a techno dance party in your mouth. Each complimentary flavor will have the chance to bust a move on your tongue’s dance floor. The tart of the lemon will give a shout out to the creamy Roquefort who kicks it over to the endive ditty on out to the crispety crunchety apple who tips its hat to the tangy cranberry bossa nova. No one is immune to the uncontrollable taste bud tango. This is a great way to warm the evening up with a little bit of this and whole lot of that. Warning: those allergic to edible orgasms should steer clear if you know what’s good for you. Read the rest of this entry »
March 25, 2009
There's a nympho mermaid off the starboard bow!
Hop into my endive boat and we can sail away to an island far far away. The boat is fully loaded with all manner of extravagances. A team of attentive monkey butlers who are never too busy making us fresh fruit SMOOTHEES to rub our bunions staffs the boat. Did I mention we have a smiling octopus captaining the ship? Seven tentacles control every aspect of the ship, leaving the last tentacle to sip MOJITOS. We can shuffleboard the afternoon away against our robotic arm competition. A chorus of endangered and extinct songbirds will serenade us while we dance the night away on the deck with lightning bugs setting the mood. I bet you never thought all this could be possible from a little finger food. Ye of little faith! Accept that this appetizer shall get your date in the mood to sail away to Pleasure Island this night. Ahoy there!
Total time: approximately 5 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: MO MOJO MOJITO or a RAGING HARD ON LEMONADE
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tablespoon of HONEY
2. 1 pear
3. 1 handful of raw walnuts
4. Small handful of Roquefort cheese
5. 1 large red endive
Wash the endive thoroughly. Chop the stalk off and separate out the intact leafs to fill like boats. Cut off narrow pear strips that can fit inside the endive boats.
Use a butter knife to fill each endive boat with Roquefort cheese. Place pieces of walnut over the cheese, followed by a slice of pear. Once they are all assembled, drizzle the honey evenly over the filled endive boats and serve.