LOX UP YOUR DAUGHTERS

October 12, 2015
Lox them up and throw away the key!

Lox them up and throw away the key!

Parents, you have been warned.  Now that this ridonkulously easy recipe is public knowledge, the world of culinary seduction just got a little easier. All those innocent girls yearning to spread their wings shall descend upon the bait laid out for them.  Once they’ve had a taste of this forbidden fruit, all bets are off.  I know that the Religious Right are gritting their teeth and preparing a contingency plan.  Sorry, suckers.  There’s nothing you can do now but pray really HARD.  The rest of us will be cooking and BANGING really HARD. Read the rest of this entry »


LECHEROUS LEMON BARS

May 27, 2015
These are lemon bar none the best way to make somone sweet into a tart

These are lemon bar none the best way to make somone sweet into a tart

Lemon bars are a fairly innocuous sweet treat favored by WASPy church ladies and the uptight men that don’t get to bang them.  Even I can appreciate the wholesome nature of these lovely lemon luxuries.  But that doesn’t mean we must have undying reverence for the sacred lemon bar.  Make them right and lemon bars can be a citrus-soaked ticket to Boom-Shaka-Laka-Land.  Praise be to the dessert treat that can lure in the do-gooder with the do-great ass using sweetness, then convince them to get naked with sour tart.  Think of these lemon bars as the bait on a trap, a decoy if you will.  Plant a seed with that sexy new coworker, naughty neighbor, or coffee shop acquaintance.  Hand them a bar, allow them to experience the orgasmic indulgence in private and wait. Compliments and praise for your culinary prowess will surely follow.  This is the part where you invite them over to your place for more of the same, but in a more intimate setting.  Game, set and match! Read the rest of this entry »


MOUTH DOWN SOUTHIE SURPRISE

May 28, 2009
How far down?  All the way down!

How far down? All the way down!

That mouth don’t belong nowhere but way down south.  You best get to work with this much flavor on the line.  You’ll need all your oral skills to suck out every last morsel of sweet sweet satisfaction.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you about the flavor explosion in your mouth.  It may shock you a little as it slides down your throat or dribbles onto your chin.  But that’s nothing to be alarmed about.  Just an unexpected ingredient popping by at the last second to make you think, “How about that?”  Now be sure to spread the love out evenly.  It could get messy otherwise.  This is banging bait at its bangingest!

Recipe courtesy of Terrence, my favorite South Boston son.

mouth down southie surprise prepTotal time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Milk or the beer of your choice

Ingredients:
1. ½ a can of Shoestring Potatoes (Potato Sticks)
2. 3 tablespoons of peanut butter
3. 1 small bag of soft caramel or butterscotch

Step 1
Unwrap the caramel or butterscotch.  Slowly melt them in a large pan on low heat (approx 4 min).  Scoop in the peanut butter and dump in the potato sticks.  Mix it all up thoroughly and use the spatula to spread it out into a small baking pan.  Allow it to cool off in the fridge (approx 20 min) and chop it up into smaller chunks to serve. mouth down southie surprise makemouth down southie surprise served 2

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