POKING SOME POKE

December 2, 2015

Poking around in the dark never tasted so good.

Aloha, hula girls! Kamana wanna laya. That is Hawaiian for, “Come over and I’ll make you dinner.” At least that’s what the tour guide tart said to me on a tropical rainforest walk. Being the unusual tourist with caustic wit is at least good for something. My lack of fanny-pack, Pearl Harbor commemorative t-shirt, and golf hat gave me away. Eager to get away from the family, and, do I really need a reason to jump into the car of an attractive stranger? This lickable local showed me the real Hawaii, including a real Hawaiian bar where my weak sauce knowledge of surfing lingo was mocked. Lucky for my fragile ego, she took me home after for the promised homemade meal. This babe had a badass blade and sliced up sashimi grade ahi tuna her friend caught that morning. I honestly can’t tell you what was better, the poke or the poking. Read the rest of this entry »


GARLICKABLE FRIES

March 27, 2009

Lick it before you stick it!

Lick it before you stick it!

Agreed.  They are addictive.  Your first instinct is to run your tongue across them, indulging in as much essence as you can suck down.  It’s like a smoking crack: you know better, but you do it anyway.  You may not want to go on without it.  You will have postpartum depression and experience nasty withdrawals that will alienate those you love. We’re talking about high-grade lower fat* shit here.  The street value is ridiculous.  That is how these good baked garlic fries can be.  My advice is to get your date hooked.  Turned them into your garlic fry crack whore.  They will be under your spell and willing to do anything for their garlic fix.  I mean ANYTHING.  Be warned that garlic can be a smelly curse.  But if ye both eat of the stinking rose, neither of ye shall recoil.

*Baked garlic fries are not low fat, just less fattening than the deep fried version.

garlic-fried-prep1Total time: approximately 50 minutes
Projected cost: $2
Drinking Buddy: Beer, preferably Belgium like Chimay or Leffe

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
2. 2 teaspoons of salt
3. 1 teaspoon of black pepper
4. 2 large potatoes
5. 4 cloves of garlic chopped finely

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Peel the potatoes, and then slice the potatoes lengthwise every ½ inch on one side, and then flip them 90 degrees and cut more ½ inch strips, thus creating fries.
garlic-fried-taters
Step 2
Throw the fries in a bowl and toss in the garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper and toss it together with your hands.
garlic-fried-toss
Step 3
Lay out the fries evenly along the baking sheet, leaving space between them.  Bake them for approximately 40 minutes, flipping the fries halfway through cooking.  The fries will be crisp and slightly browned.  Dump them onto a plate with a paper towel and blot out the excess grease.
garlic-fried-bake
Serve on a platter with your favorite condom-ment!

Baked Garlic Fries are the Devil's plan

Baked Garlic Fries are the Devil's plan

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