So now you’re down to the wire now. You blew all your cash on gifts for the family and forgot about that certain someone who’s been keeping your bed warm at night. Whoops! Soon you will be going your separate ways giving each of you time to think and reflect. This could be a very bad thing if you leave on a inconsiderate cheapskate note. Giving them nothing likely will result in not getting some for a while if not ever. Considering the holiday rush at the stores for anything worth a damn, why not skip all that noise? Save time and money by getting DIY with some jarring, player. HOLY BLACKBERRY CHIPOTLE SAUCE offers an aphrodisiac double threat with the chipotle chili kick and blackberry antioxidant money shot. It’s spicy, it’s sweet, it’s versatile. Spread it on a sandwich, marinate meat and fish and grill, turn it into a sexy salad dressing with some vinegar. Hand all your special someones a jar to remember you by, with luck a part of you will be in their mouth even months later (if you pressure seal the jars). Let jarring begin!
Ever find yourself vexed with the choice of either eating breakfast or morning sex before work? I usually go for the latter. But why limit yourself when you can do both? Smoothees are a kick-ass kick-start to a kick-in-the-nuts day. With practice, you can blend on up, pour it in a to go cup, and be out the door in under a minute. If that isn’t reason enough, consider the health benefits. The fruit’s antioxidants nourish your mistreated body and give you a healthy jolt far healthier than coffee or tea. Protein powder will keep you sharp and satiated until lunch, and also give the male libido an extra push. Did I mention the aphrodisiac elements? Making a smoothee from home also makes economic sense too rather than paying a smoothee shop like Jamba Juice $6 a pop. But you already know that because like Sade says, “You’re a Smooth(ee) Operator.”
Ingredients (for 2 smoothees):
1. 1 scoop of protein powder (optional)
2. 3 cups of your favorite juice (mine is blueberry)
3. 1 tablespoon of yogurt (optional
4. 1 handful of fresh/frozen mango chunks
5. 1 handful of fresh/frozen blackberries
6. 1 banana
Blend the shit out of the fruit until it all forms one sexy red color. If you want the extra umf, throw in the protein powder now and blend that too. Pour into cups, down them like a champ and get on with your morning, especially if that means getting it on.
This recipe comes from Mandy in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. We had to include a boozy recipe with summer finally here. Mandy writes:
Sangria in summer is necessary for me as the free clinic is to a hooker. I can’t live without some cold fruity wine as the sun beats down. The best way to enjoy it is with as little clothing as possible. No clothing is best. There’s no better way to cool you down after stick summer sex. Plus you can pick out the fruit and eat them off your play pal. The best part of this recipe is that it’s a portable party for backyard BBQs, pool parties, or orgies. Read the rest of this entry »