SCHMANCY QUESA-DIDDLE-YA

June 14, 2010

Just a dab will diddle-ya!

Quesadillas are an endless parade of potential. You can’t help but get creative with that classic cheese and tortilla combo. What cheese with what extra goodness is about as varied as positions in the Kama Sutra. Read the rest of this entry »


BEEF BANGIN’ON

June 4, 2010

Where's the beef? Check my pantaloons.

This final edition in the 2010 CTB Recipe Challenge comes from Karin in Ft. Collins, CO. Here’s to bringing on the foux da fafa French connection. Karin writes:

I satisfy my man with a hearty meal and with his pleasure fulfilled I can be pleased in return. This recipe may seem daunting but believe me it is well worth the foreplay. With the right prep the ‘oven’ does the majority of the work and gives the strength the to keeps everything up all night long and keep the au jus flowing.  This recipe is surely is femme fatale. Ooh la la! Read the rest of this entry »


ANOTHER CHICK(EN) IN THE BAG(UETTE)

January 14, 2010

A sinwich in paradise is oh so very nice!

The Cook To Bang method makes getting your freaky-deak on so simple that must really try to blow it. The simple, effective method is beyond question. A millennium from now when alien explorers discover the remains of our extinct culture, they will come to one simple conclusion: we forgot how to CTB. My hope is that I can keep the human race going another half-century or so with my teachings. All bets are off after that. So with that in mind, try out this simple recipe I made while on vacation. The Latina that slept over after a killer dinner party I threw was certainly not expecting CTB in reverse. After a rowdy session of morning sex, I presented her with this sinwich. We devoured them quickly, and got back to the task at hand…banging each other senseless.

Total time: approximately 7 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: RAGING HARD ON LEMONADE

Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. ½ a baguette
2. Mayonnaise at your discretion (can substitute with mustard)
3. 2 handfuls rotisserie chicken pulled
4. 1 handful lettuce chopped
5. ½ AVOCADO sliced
6. ½ tomato sliced thinly
7. ½ apple sliced thinly

Step 1
Slice the baguette lengthwise and spread mayonnaise as you wish. Lay out the apple and tomato slices, evenly add the pulled chicken, stuff the lettuce and avocado, and force it all shut. Cut in half and you are ready for just about anything.

This SINWICH works just as well as a BREAKFAST as a lunch or DINNER.

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BANGIN’ SOME CAJUNS SHRIMP

May 26, 2009
Unleash the banging beast from your Cajun soul!

Unleash the banging beast from your Cajun soul!

There’s a ragin’ Cajun in each of us eager to get out and start bangin’.  Even those who’ve never been down south around Louisiana parts have one.  It’s in the fine print of your body’s owners’ manual.  He or she comes out every once in a while after you’ve fed yourself enough spicy food.  It tingles at first, and before you know it, your body has been possessed like in some voodoo incantation ceremony.  Your body dances, shakes, drinks and bangs to some mysterious West Indian drum beat.  Those who know you best won’t recognize the  crazy person speaking in barely coherent tongues.  The words you say will fall somewhere between English, French, and marbles in your mouth. But don’t you worry.  As soon as your ragin’ Cajun is done bangin’, they’ll become dormant and leave you to clean up the aftermath.  Should you wake up next to some sexy, you’re welcome.  If you wake up in jail, I ain’t paying your bail.

bangin cajun shrimp prepTotal time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $11
Drinking Buddy: Beer or a BANGARITA

Ingredients:
1. 1 lb of SHRIMP
2. ½ tsp of Cajun seasoning
3. 1 tbsp of vegetable oil
4. 1 small handful of chopped celery
5. 1 tbsp of fresh chopped ginger
6. 2 cloves of chopped garlic

Step 1
Sauté the garlic, ginger and celery with vegetable oil on medium-high heat (approx 2 min).
bangin cajun shrimp veggies
Step 2
Peel the tails and shells from the shrimp.  Sauté the shrimp in the oil until they pinken (approx 2 min per side). Sprinkle Cajun seasoning other the shrimp and cook in the flavor (approx 1 min).

bangin cajun shrimp peel cook

Serve it up on a plate solo or with some SPANKING SPANISH RICE.
bangin cajun shrimp served 2

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FRENCH KISS MY ONION SOUP

December 31, 2008

Taste me soup, Vive la France!

Taste my soup and Vive la France!

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?  Yes indeed, mon ami.  But before we get down to the task at hand, let’s get some sustenance.  Oui?  You have to love those Frenchy frogs with their many culinary innovations.  The precision they employ to make their fabulous meals is unparalleled and has been turning us on for centuries.  Merci to that!  Who doesn’t love a bowl of French onion soup on a cold winter day?  The salty tang of the onions, the soggy French bread and stretchy cheese that always ends up on your chin.  My knees are knocking while I eat seconds as I write this.  Tres joleis!  This soup certainly stepped up to the plate of providing radical results.  My date was clearly impressed by the TLC put into it, but it was love at first bite.  Neither of us could finish the bowl due to the distractions of wine and spontaneous waltzing around the kitchen.  The first post-coital bite made me want to put on a beret and write post-modern poetry in French.  Sacre bleu!

Total time: approximately 1½ hours
Projected cost: $10 (gruyere cheese makes it costly)
Drinking Buddy: Wine of course, silly Yankee scum!

french-onion-soup-prepIngredients:
1. 1 teaspoon of salt
2. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
3. ½ cup of cooking sherry
4. 6 cups of chicken broth
5. ½ teaspoon of black pepper
6. 1 tablespoon of dried thyme (or 6 sprigs fresh)
7. 2 tablespoons of butter
8. 6 yellow onion chopped in long strips
9. French baguette cut into ½ inch slices
10. 8 ounces of Gruyere cheese (can substitute for Swiss)

Step 1
Heat a stockpot up on medium heat and melt the butter and olive oil with the salt.  Throw in the onions and mix them around.  Cook the onions until they reduce in volume and brown. (approx 20 minutes)
french-onion-soup-onion
Step 2
Pour in 2 cups of water into the onions and cook until the water evaporates, leaving the onions in a big brown clump.  (approx 10 minutes)  Pour in the sherry and repeat.  (approx 5 minutes)
french-onion-soup-water-sherry1
Step 3
Add the thyme and chicken broth.  On high heat, bring it all to a roaring boil, then reduce heat and simmer.  (approx 30 minutes)
french-onion-soup-thyme-broth
Step 4
Preheat the oven to broil.  Ladle soup into the small, deep bowls.  Place French bread slices on top of each soup.  Sprinkle the Gruyere cheese over each slice of French bread so they are covered evenly.  Broil the soups (approx 5 minutes), allow to cool (another 5 minutes), and then eat up.  Ooh la la!

french-onion-soup-cheese

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