August 21, 2015
The Lady and the Trampy Scampi
I used to stamp my little feet as a child when someone called me a shrimp. It drove me batty that I wasn’t a “big kid”. Time changes everything. Call me a shrimp as an adult and I’ll thank you, and then fantasize about buttery, garlicky goodness. I am the first to admit that I’ll get trampy for shrimp scampi. A note to the ladies: you too can put a man like myself under your spell with this dish. There’s something amazing about cooking shellfish in this velvet sauce that grants the chef the power of mind control. It’s been that way ever since I stole the recipe from a heavily guarded underground vault in Switzerland. Sure I am wanted by Interpol, but I did it all for you, dear reader. Who loves ya? Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | 
aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, french, italian, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, butter, buttery, delicious, DIY, easy, entree, fast, fish market, flavor, flavorful, game changer, garlic, garlicky, get laid, gourmet, green onions, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, lemon, naked, parsley, recipe, salt, seafood, seduce, sex, shrimp, Shrimp scampi recipe, simple, slut, tasty, tramp, trampy, white wine, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
April 12, 2013
You made these fries for me? You’re totally sweet!
Dude! Did you see that ollie Mctwist I pulled over the rails? Totally sweet! Did you see how I walked right up to that blonde and got her number? Totally sweet! Did I mention I was able to Cook To Bang? Totally sweet! Did I tell you what I cooked to seal the deal? Totally Sweet Potato Fries! These oven-baked fries are seasoned to perfection and make a totally sweet starter, side dish or post-coital snack. The only thing you have to figure out which someone is worthy of making this stupid-easy dish for. Hmm… Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, french, healthy, RECIPES, southern, winter | Tagged: appetizer, baked fries, baked sweet potato fries, carbohydrate, carboluscious, compliment, finger food, healthier, olive oil, paprika, pepper, rosemary, salt, side dish, slut, snack, Sweet potato fries recipe, sweet potatoes, totally sweet, yams | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 30, 2010
That no good tart tastes too good
What a filthy, no good tart! Strutting itself around unpeeled and sweet to a fault. You’d think this tart would have more manners being of European stock. But clearly all it wants to do is lay about and put itself in any mouth it can find. No doubt, this apple has fallen very far from the tree. But I suppose you think I should just cut it some slack, right? Just let it go while it tarts around on any available plate, being passed around like a marijuana joint at some hippie love orgy? I say hell no! The only solution I have is to cool its jets. I’ll use the only thing I have in my arsenal. Ice cream! That’ll teach it to be so sweet, seductive and bad for me. Just to prove to you I am the bigger man, I’ll take one bite to show the rest of you how to be disciplined. See? One bite and I can say no…all right two bites. Three. Screw it! I’m taking the rest of the tart into my bedroom. But I’m not going to enjoy it! Seriously. I’m eating the rest for it’s own good. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | french, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegetarian | Tagged: a la mode, addictive, apple pie, bang, butter, caramelized apples, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, European, flavor, France, french, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, ice cream, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, marijuana joint, naked, orgy, pastry puff, recipe, seduce, sex, slut, sugar, sugary, sweet, Tart tartin recipe, tasty, tawdry tart tartin, tree, yellow apples, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 