January 2, 2012
With this soup, you’ll always say, “Check mate!”
You are looking oh so fine!
I’ll warm you up and make you mine,
Ignore these less than stellar rhymes,
Just say yes to a little wine and dine!
Your creamy texture makes me yell,
I get all bent for your spicy smell,
Orgasms peak at the dinner bell,
Making the pious say, “What the hell?”
You make a player from a leper
A cocky bastard from a half-stepper
I collect coin with every endeavor
Cause you’re my little bell pepper.
Total time: approximately 80 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: LECHEROUS LEPRECHAUN
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. ½ tsp of CAYENNE PEPPER
2. ½ tsp of cumin
3. 1 can of chicken stock (veg for vegan)
4. 1 tbsp olive oil
5. ½ can of coconut milk
6. Black pepper to taste
7. ½ tsp of garlic salt
8. 3 red bell peppers
9. 1 onion chopped coarsely
Step 1
Roast the bell peppers in the oven at 400 degrees F until the skin blackens (approx 45 min). Remove from oven and throw them in a sealed bag. Refrigerate until they cool (approx 15 min), remove the skin and chop coarsely.
Step 2
While awaiting the peppers to cool, sauté the onions with the olive oil on medium heat. Add the garlic salt, cayenne pepper and cumin and cook in the flavor (approx 5 min). Add the red bell peppers and the black pepper and let them soak up some taste (approx 2 min).
Step 3
Pour in the stock, bring to a roaring boil, and then simmer closed until the veggies soften (approx 15 min). Puree the madness and then add the coconut milk and stir thoroughly.
2 Comments | 
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Posted by cooktobang
March 16, 2010
Be sure not to spill spinach on your Birkenstocks!
The vegans deserve some love from time to time. Neglecting their needs would be insensitive of me as the apex of a modern gentleman. Besides, I have had a parade of smoking hot, not too hippie chicks passing through my boudoir recently to ignore their needs. Their picky palette must be satisfied too before my insatiable appetite gets its finger-licking fix. Creamed spinach was my bag that night, but my no-cream cutie wasn’t having it. Alas, the Thai cuisine saved the day. Coconut milk was a satisfactory cream-substitute for little miss animal freedom fighter. Smiles all around. Homegirl got her way; homeboy got to play. Plus a new dish was born for the next vegan Thanksgiving when we need something to go with the organic tofurkey.
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Beer
Ingredients (serves 6)
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 1/2 can coconut milk
3. 1 dash sea salt
4. 1 small handful sun-dried tomato roughly chopped
5. 1 small handful GINGER finely chopped
6. 2 massive handfuls fresh spinach
Step 1
Sauté the ginger in olive oil (approx 30 sec) before adding the sun-dried tomatoes (approx 1 min). Throw in the spinach and sauté with a dash of salt until it wilts (approx 2 min). Pour in the coconut milk and slowly cook on low heat until the liquid mostly evaporates and absorbs into the spinach (approx 5 min).
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, hippie, holidays, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, THANKSGIVING, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: animal freedom fighter, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, boudoir, calivirgin, coconut milk, cream in your pants, cream in your patchwork pants spinach, cream-substitute, creamed spinach, delicious, DIY, easy, finger-licking, food, game changer, get laid, ginger, gourmet, guarantee, hippie, hippie chicks, homeboy, homegirl, homemade, insatiable, intercourse, kitchen, libido, modern gentleman, naked, olive oil, parade, recipe, sauté, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, spinach, sun dried tomato, tasty, thai, thai cream spinach, THANKSGIVING, tofurkey, vegan, vegan creamed spinach recipe, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 10, 2008
Curry some favor with these spicy flavors
This Thai curry dish is like a hot night of indiscretion in the steamy city of Bangkok. That’s where I first had a dish at a small restaurant right off of PatPong 2 before witnessing the seedier side of Southeast Asia. So delicious and decadent. Curry can be a little dangerous and on the edge, like watching a tiger cage fight while telling the lady boys that you are not interested in boom boom tonight. Welcome to the spicy side of COOK TO BANG. You will instantly become the bad boy or girl that your date’s parents warned them about. They will sweat before you even touch them. If you have that kind of effect with your food, your date can only assume that the night will only get steamier. Yes, indeedy. So relax and enjoy the happy ending.
Total time: approximately 35-45 minutes
Projected cost for ingredients: $10
Drinking buddy: Beer, Thai or Indian
Ingredients:
1. 1 tablespoon of flour
2. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
3. 1 cup of coconut milk
4. 2 teaspoons of curry paste (1 teaspoon of curry powder)
5. 1 teaspoon of oyster sauce
6. 1 tablespoon of rice vinegar
7. 1 tablespoon of soy sauce
8. 1 large eggplant cut into bite-sized pieces
9. 1 handful of mushrooms cut
10. 1 pound of chicken cut in bite-sized pieces
11. ½ a lemon
12. Meat of 1 mango sliced and diced
13. 1 yellow bell pepper cut into bite-sized pieces
14. 1 handful of cilantro
15. 4 green onion chopped coarsely
16. 3 garlic cloves minced
Step 1
Mix the cilantro, oyster sauce, curry paste, coconut milk and flour in a bowl. Stir vigorously like you’re still in Jr. High until the curry sauce becomes a pinkish-orange. Set aside.
Step 2 (Skip this step if you want to make it vegetarian)
Marinate the chicken in the rice vinegar, soy sauce and lemon. After 15 minutes, use 1 tablespoon of olive oil and cook the chicken until the meat turns white. Set aside.
Step 3
On high heat, use the remaining and sauté the garlic and green onions. After a minute add the mango and cook it down. Throw in all the remaining vegetables except the eggplant and cook for another two minutes until the veggies soften. Now add the eggplant and cook until they soften and absorb the mango/garlic.
Step 4
Pour the curry sauce over the veggies and stir thoroughly, making sure the eggplant has softened considerably. Toss in the chicken and mix it all together with the veggies and curry sauce. Cook another minute to ensure the flavors all absorb before serving over rice with some beer.
Leave a Comment » | asian, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, thai | Tagged: asian food, bang, chicken, cilantro, cilantro thai food, classy, Coconut curry, coconut milk, curry paste, delicious, dinner, easy, eggplant, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green onions, guarantee, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, lemon, mango, mushrooms, naked, rice, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinful, soy sauce, spicy, thai curry, Thailand | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Total time: approximately 80 minutes
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 