January 18, 2016
Flirty, dirty and wordy. This sandwich offers all manners of sinful delights.
This turkey sandwich is no ordinary sandwich. It has sex appeal scientists are struggling to devise a method of measuring. It can’t help flirting with everyone its path. This sandwich has won over everyone it has met besides a few vegetarians who are questioning their own eating habits. That is the power of said sandwich. The tantalizing melted brie cheese, cranberry goodness, creamy aphrodisiac-laden avocado and crunchy bread dares to take you where no sandwich has gone before. You almost forget your eating a sandwich at all. It seems more like nosh meant for the gods who happen to be food snobs. I made this sandwich and God said it was good. God said it was damn good and paused time so he could have second. Amen! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | 
aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, french, fusion, healthy, RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, bang, brie cheese, cranberries, dairy, deli meat, delicious, dijon mustard, DIY, easy, flirt, Flirty turkey brie sinwich, food, food snobs, game changer, get laid, god, gourmet, gourmet toasted turkey sandwich recipe, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, jesus, kitchen, lunch, mayonnaise, naked, poultry, recipe, seduce, sex, sliced turkey, sourdough bread, tantalizing, tasty, toast, tomato, turkey, vegetarians, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
August 24, 2015
Big Ol’ Sausage Cumming your way!
Make room! Make room! A massive sausage is coming straight for your open mouth. There’s not a whole lot you can do but smile like a donut. But don’t fear it. Taste it. Enjoy it. Love it. There’s nothing wrong with phallic food so long as you are comfortable with yourself and enjoy good food. Just to make you feel better, you can Price Albert the sausage to make it less threatening. Throw in all the veggies and aphrodisiac avocado and you have an innocuous, yet delicious open-faced sandwich to enjoy with your date. Need I mention that you can whip these up in 10 minutes flat while you wax poetic with your game? Now drop your inhibitions and pick up that big ol’ massive meaty sausage. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, Cajun, fusion, italian, Mediterranean, RECIPES, SINWICHES, southern, spicy | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, bang, banging, bell pepper, big ol’ sausage sandwich recipe, cherry tomatoes, chicken sausage, delicious, DIY, easy, fast, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, lunch, mayonnaise, meat, naked, onion, open-faced sausage sandwich recipe, phallic, prince Albert, protein, recipe, sausage, sausage and peppers recipe, sauté, seduce, sex, sinwich, smile like a donut, sourdough bread, tasty, turkey sausage, vegetable oil, veggie sausage, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 7, 2015
Sweet, spicy, totally macho.
I know what you’re thinking. How could a cold fruity summer soup be so macho? I’m glad you asked. The flavors don’t dance delicately like a ballerina upon your tongue. Fuck no! They river-dance to speed metal all over that tongue of yours with more flavors than you can shake your genitals at. Walls will bust open like the Kool-Aid Man’s back for revenge. Your date won’t wait for permission to ravish you. Mediterranean nymphs shan’t flutter, but grind into your ears with rubber mini-skirts. Does that answer your question? Read the rest of this entry »
4 Comments | fusion, healthy, HOT LIQUID LOVE, italian, Mediterranean, RECIPES, spicy, summer, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: bang, banging, black pepper, cold soup, cucumber, delicious, DIY, easy, food, fusion, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, italian, kitchen, kool-aid man, latin, libido, Mediterranean, mini-skirts, muy macho papaya gazpacho, naked, nymphs, olive oil, papaya, papaya gazpacho recipe, parsley, recipe, red onion, red wine vinegar, refreshing, river-dance, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, soup, sourdough bread, speed metal, summer, tasty, tomato juice, vegan, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
February 3, 2014
Feeling melty yet? Give it time and you will melt right into the bed sheets
Inhibitions can be a raging bitch. They always seem to get in the way of a night of blissful mistakes. It’s like that annoying friend of the one you’re sweet on intent on preventing you from vanishing to do what is best accomplished behind. Troublesome as inhibitions may be, there’s a way to make them melt faster than a popsicle in a Bangkok sex show. It’s so simple and obvious. Disarm them with a delectable, easy to make like a BLT covered in melty cheese. Whether their fugly friend is literal or the metaphor for their unwillingness to throw their conservative values out the window, give them something fun, familiar, yet fantstic to indulge in and familiarity is sure to follow. Familiarity = comfort that dissolves inhibitions and results in getting naked. I’m glad we had this talk. Now go out and melt melt MELT the shit out of those inhibitions! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: bacon, bang, banging, Bangkok, bitch, blt melt away inhibitions recipe, BLT melt recipe, broil, cheddar, conservative values, delectable, delicious, DIY, easy, familiarlity, food, fugly, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, inhibition, intercourse, kitchen, lettuce, libido, mayonnaise, mozzarella, naked, platter, popsicle, recipe, sandwich, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sex show, sinwich, sourdough bread, sun dried tomatoes, tasty, tomato, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 23, 2013
AKA Brie Bacon Lettuce Tomato Sandwich
Don’t let the BBW reference scare you. This sandwich is lean, mean and totally obscene. Just the way you like it. Here at CTB, we strive to make gourmet food accessible for the masses in DIY fashion. But sometimes we do you one better, and I’m not just talking about when candles are lit after a bottle of wine. Occasionally we take a simple classic dish and load it with sexy pretension. Sure you could make a BLT – Boring Lame Tired sandwich. But that will be as memorable as a premature ejaculator. You need to treat a sandwich like you would a well-planned yet nonchalant seduction. Bring on the Brie cheese! Allow the delicate flavors of France to remake this American classic. Now claim this sandwich to be your own design and accept the praise and sexual healing that will follow. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | french, fusion, RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: American, bacon, bang, banging, bblt recipe, bbw, big beautiful lady tamer sinwich, boring lame tired, brie bacon lettuce tomato sandwich recipe, brie cheese, cherry tomatoes, delicious, DIY, easy, food, french, fusion, game changer, get laid, gourmet, gourmet blt recipe, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lettuce, libido, lunch, mayonnaise, naked, nonchalant, premature ejaculator, recipe, sandwich, seduce, sex, sourdough bread, tasty, turkey bacon, veggie bacon, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 