February 16, 2010
This ginger beverage has been approved by the ginger council run by the ginger people.
We all get sick sometimes. Odds are that if you’re reading this, you are sick in the head. Welcome to the club. But the sick I speak of is where your body has broken down from your hedonist existence and let in something yucky. Time to take care of yourself so you can return to being a culinary Casanova. Whether you are taking care of yourself, or that hot number you’ve been banging, this tea will nurse you back to health with nutrients galore. The fact that it’s aphrodisiac-laden and delicious will only aid your quest. Sometimes you just need to bang away the nasty. Here’s to your health, you sicko!
Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $3
Eating Buddy: Fresh fruit
Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp HONEY
2. 1 handful fresh chopped GINGER
3. 1 lemon quartered
4. 1 handful fresh mint leaves
5. 2 splashes brandy (optional, not pictured)
Step 1
Fill up a pot with 3 cups of water. Throw in the ginger, lemon, and half the mint leaves. Bring to a roaring boil, then lower the heat, and simmer until the flavor absorbs (approx 10 min).
Step 2
Pour the tea through a strainer into your cups of choice. Add the honey, mint leaves, and brand if you so desire and mix up.
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Posted by cooktobang
January 12, 2010
Stuff with care
This main dish is meant for your main squeeze. Don’t prepare this outstanding entrée for one of your breezies on the side. The effort and effect are not worth it unless you want them to get hooked on you. It goes back to the essence of the Cook To Bang philosophy. Eat amazing food; have amazing sex. This hearty dish is perfect for a winter evening in. Why would you go out when you have the two essentials for a perfect night of carnal lust and consumption? At least that’s what I discovered when I laid this culinary mack down on a girl I’m seeing. She hasn’t stopped calling, texting, sexting, and facebooking since. Homegirl is officially addicted…to me. Ever since, I’ve been getting stuffed and busting nuts all over the place. Use this dish cautiously, unless you are eager to build your own harem.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: Red red wine
Ingredients (Serves 2):
1. 3 tbsp olive oil
2. 1 dash CAYENNE PEPPER
3. 1 butternut squash
4. 2 dashes black pepper
5. 3 dashes sea salt
6. 2 GREENSBURY MARKET organic chicken breasts
7. 1 pear
8. 2 large carrots
9. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
10. 1 lime wedge
Step 1
Preheat your oven to 350∞F/175∞C. Slice the squash lengthwise and scoop out the guts, leaving a nice cavity. Rub olive oil into each half, and then salt and pepper them and roast until the squash meat is soft (approx 30 min).
Step 2
While the squash roasts, cube the chicken and marinate in limejuice, cayenne pepper, and sea salt (approx 10 min).
Step 3
Peel the carrots and chop into bite-sized pieces. Slice the pears thinly. SautÈ the carrots and pears until they soften (approx 5 min). Add the chicken and sautÈ thoroughly.
Step 4
Finally scoop the sautÈed chicken and veggies into the cavities of the squash (once soft) and throw back in the oven and roast until it’s all heated through (approx 5 min). Crown each with green onions and serve.
This ENTRÉE kills it on it’s own, but a simple SALAD could shoot your date’s lust into the stratosphere.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, IT’S ON!-TREES, poultry, RECIPES, spicy, winter | Tagged: addicted, bang, banging, black pepper, breezies, bust a nut, butternut squash, carnal lust, carrot, cayenne pepper, chicken breasts, consumption, delicious, DIY, easy, entree, food, game changer, get hooked, get laid, get stuffed, gourmet, green onions, greensbury market, guarantee, harem, healthy, hearty, homemade, hooked, intercourse, kitchen, libido, lime, main dish, main squeeze, marinate, naked, olive oil, organic, pear, recipe, roast, sauté, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, winter, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 2, 2009
Unleash the fury, with some banging curry!
For me, banging comes in waves. Sometimes I’m banging everything sexy in a 10-mile radius. Other times I am sitting alone in the dark wondering why not even my D-List booty calls aren’t returning my texts. Peaks and valleys, strikes and gutters, dude. My advice for dealing with this is to capitalize on those moments when you can bang the hottest piece of ass even wearing filthy sweatpants and crocs. Savor these times as if they were your last and by god man, bang them good and proper so they don’t vanish and tarnish your reputation as a lousy lay. Winter can be a lonely mistress. The best solution is to warm yourself back up with the spice of life. Nothing gets that done quite like spicy food and a hot snuggle buddy or three. When the snow flurries keep you inside, be sure to have something warm and sexy to flurry on.
Total time: approximately 40 minutes
Projected cost: $20
Drinking Buddy: Beer or a mango lassi
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. ½ cup plain yogurt
3. 1 tsp ground cumin
4. 1 tbsp curry powder
5. 1 handful chopped cilantro
6. 1 onion chopped coarsely
7. 1 large eggplant
8. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
9. 1 small handful GINGER finely chopped
10. 2 garlic cloves finely chopped
11. CHILI PEPPERS at your discretion
Step 1
Preheat the oven to 450°F/230°C. Throw the eggplant in the oven and roast until the eggplant softens (approx 30 min). Remove from the oven, allow to cool, peel away the skin, and then cut the meat into bite-sized cubes.
Step 2
Sauté the onions with the cumin, garlic and ginger until they soften (approx 3 min). Throw in the tomatoes and cook until they stew (approx 2 min)
Step 3
Throw in the eggplant, spice with the curry powder and chili pepper and cook in the flavor (approx 3 min). Add the yogurt and cook until it all becomes creamy curry goodness (approx 2 min). Throw in the cilantro and you are good to go.
Serve this curry dish with your favorite RICE DISH or some delicious naan.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, indian, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, spicy, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, banging flurry eggplant curry recipe, boot call, capitalize, chili pepper, cilantro, cold, crocs, cumin, curry, curry powder, d-list, delicious, DIY, easy, eggplant, eggplant curry recipe, food, frigid, game changer, garlic, get laid, ginger, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, India, indian, intercourse, kitchen, libido, lonely mistress, naked, new delhi, olive oil, onion, recipe, roast, sauté, savor, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, snuggle buddy, spicy, sweatpants, tasty, tomato, vegan, vegetarian, winter, yogurt, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
April 1, 2009
Don’t forget to mushroom tip your waitress!
Can you feel the rhythm? It starts with your hips going back and forth like a metronome. Feel it flow out to every point in your body. You and your date are under the spell of the mushroom. There is nothing either of you can do but let go. Dance, fool, dance! Your bodies will pulsate and writhe together. The warm embrace of the soup will inspire you two to become as one…for a half hour or so. It is for your benefit that you carry on. This mystical culinary potion has no fat to speak of. The natural flavor will cause your brain’s synapse to snap, crackle, and pop in a pleasure-filled frenzy. My advice: Take advantage of this recipe while it remains 100% legal. No doubt there is some buzz killer on the mission to make this soup contraband because it’s too sexy for their conservative closed minds.
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $10
Drinking Buddy: Red red wine
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 can of chicken broth
2. ½ cup of sherry
3. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
4. 1 teaspoon of salt
5. 1 leek
6. ½ pound of fresh shitake mushrooms
7. ½ pound of white mushrooms
8. 2 small handfuls of raw walnuts
9. 3 garlic cloves minced
Step 1
Wash off the leek, trim the edges off, spit it down the middle and chop coarsely. Wash the mushrooms thoroughly and chop them coarsely.
Step 2
Heat up the olive oil in a stockpot on medium-high heat. Sauté the garlic and leeks until the shrink down and become translucent (approx 3 minutes). Add in the mushrooms, salt and sherry and cook the mushrooms down until they soften (approx 5 minutes).
Step 3
Dump in the chicken stock, bring it to a boil, and then simmer the goodies covered with a lid on low until the mushrooms absorb the liquid (approx 15 minutes). Gently puree the mushrooms, leaving some chunks intact. Serve it up with a small handful of walnuts over each bowl.
Leave a Comment » | healthy, HOT LIQUID LOVE, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: bang, boom shalaklak boom, chicken broth, crackle, delicious, DIY, easy, flavorful, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, hearty, homemade, HOT LIQUID LOVE, house of pain, intercourse, kitchen, leek, legal, low fat, metronome, mushroom soup, naked, olive oil, pop, recipe, salt, sauté, seduce, sex, sherry, shitake, Shroom shalaklak boom soup recipe, shrooms, snap, soup, tasty, walnuts, warm, white mushrooms, wild mushroom soup recipe, winter, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 31, 2009
Red Pepper 42, Black Bean 42, Hut Hut Hike!
I’m gasping for air as I write this post. Good god is this veggie chili sexy, healthy and satisfying. Trust me when I say this is going to be a challenge to not eat it all before I bring it to the Super Bowl party this weekend. It’s like waiting for marriage to engage in sexual relations. It’s a nice idea in theory. But seriously, why? Sure it might feel great to finally experience pure ecstasy with the person you will spend the rest of your life. But then again it might be a huge let down when you finally claim what’s yours. Luckily you don’t have to worry about that with this chili dish. It actually tastes better the next day once the flavors have wrapped their legs around the veggies and grinded until they make culinary cunnilingus. If you do manage to keep this ridiculously healthy chili around for the Super Bowl or other party, you will certainly be busy taking down phone numbers from eager foodies with an appetite for you. Take a number.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: A beer, margarita or other football-watching beverage
Ingredients (serves a party or 2 hungry people for days):
1. ½ cup of vegetable oil
2. 1 tablespoon of dried oregano
3. 1 8-ounce can of corn
4. Sour cream for garnish
5. 1 teaspoon of salt
6. Shredded cheddar cheese for garnish
7. 2 tablespoons of ground cumin
8. 1 28-ounce can of whole tomatoes
9. 1 can of garbanzo beans
10. 1 can of black beans
11. 2 stalks of celery chopped coarsely
12. 1 green pepper chopped coarsely
13. 1 red pepper chopped coarsely
14. 4 cloves of garlic chopped finely
15. 2 dried New Mexico chilies
16. 1 large carrot peeled and chopped coarsely
17. 1 yellow pepper coarsely
18. 1 onion chopped coarsely.
19. 2 handfuls of mushrooms chopped coarsely
Step 1
Heat up the vegetable oil in a stockpot on medium-high. Sautee the garlic solo until they brown (approx 30 seconds). Cook the onions until they become translucent (approx 2 minutes). Throw in all the carrots, celery, yellow, red and green peppers and cook until they soften, stirring occasionally. (approx 15 minutes)
Step 2
It’s time to spice things up. Cup up the New Mexico chilies, then toss them into the pot with the mushrooms let it simmer (approx 2 minutes). Now smack it all up with ground cumin, oregano and salt and cook in the flavor (approx 10 minutes).
Step 3
Open up the can of tomatoes and drain the juice into a bowl before chopping the tomatoes up coarsely. Add the tomatoes and juice onto the pot and cook until the tomatoes dissolve and become part of the sauce (approx 10 minutes).
Step 4
Drain the liquid from the cans of corn, garbanzo beans and black beans, then dump them all into the pot and cook them with all the other goodies until they become united in their chili power (approx 10 minutes). Serve up with a sexy selection of toppings like shredded cheddar, sour cream and diced red onions.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, HOT LIQUID LOVE, mexican, RECIPES, spicy, vegan, vegetarian, winter | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, bell pepper, black beans, carrot, celery, cheddar, cheese, chili, corn, cumin, delicious, easy, game changer, garbanzo beans, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green pepper, guarantee, healthy, intercourse, kitchen, mexican, mushroom, naked, new Mexico chilies, onion, oregano, party, recipe, red pepper, romance, salt, Santa fe, SEDUCTION, sex, sour cream, south beach diet, spicy, Super bowl, tailgate, tasty, tomato, vegetable oil, vegetarian, Vegetarian chili recipe, veggie chili recipe, winter, yellow pepper, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 24, 2008
This Naughty Nog, ba-rumpa-pum-pum
So it’s Christmas time. You may need to bring something to your (or your significant other’s) family holiday party or perhaps you and a sexy someone have decided to do your own Christmas thang. It’s about that time to bust something homemade out to leave an outstanding impression. Make this homemade eggnog recipe you will just do that. If all goes to plan everyone will be too tanked to think of you as anything but a champ. Encourage the lot of them to drink up, be merry. Not merry yet? Have another glass of this naughty nog. After enough glasses of this creamy cocktail and they’d forgive you for banging the dog (do us all a favor and abstain from this). My first experiment with this drink happened during a frightening visit to the ex-Navy colonel father of a girl I was dating after college. She told me about his medals of valor, not to mention his collection of antique guns. This was a delicate situation that was easily defused by strong eggnog I threw together on a whim. By the end of the night Colonel Kill You In Your Sleep was crooning along to Bing Crosby Christmas carols and calling me “son.” The eggnog was like Kevlar and I was the drunken Baby Jesus.
Total time: approximately 1¼ hours = 3 minutes to prep, the rest to chill
Projected cost: $5 (not including liquor)
Eating Buddy: Christmas cookies
Ingredients (for 6 sexy servings):
1. 2 ½ cups of whole milk
2. ½ cup of dark rum
3. ½ cup of brandy
4. 2 cups of heavy cream
5. 1 cup brown sugar
6. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
7. Nutmeg to taste
8. 6 eggs
Step 1
In a large mixing bowl, add each ingredient separately and beat them in this order: eggs, brown sugar, and vanilla extract. After beating it all together, toss in some ground nutmeg.
Step 2
Like in Step 1, add each ingredient and mix thoroughly in this order: heavy cream, milk, rum and brandy. Beat it together again and chill in the fridge for at least an hour before serving. After chilling, mix it up again and then ladle up some glasses and sprinkle more nutmeg. Ho ho ho! 
1 Comment | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, holidays, libation lubrication, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: Alcoholic eggnog, bang, beverage, brandy, Christmas, cold, cream, creamy, decadent, delicious, drink, drunk, easy, eggnog recipe, eggs, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, holidays, homemade eggnog, intercourse, kitchen, milk, naked, recipe, romance, rum, SEDUCTION, sex, soothing, wet, winter | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 