November 27, 2008
Break me off some of that morning delight
You don’t often hear people lamenting a lack of carbohydrates in their diet. That mean old Dr. Atkins scared people off from the potato, a respectable source or sustenance that kept the Irish alive through the worst of times. The tater and his friend the loaf of bread hid out in the attic away from the anti-carb Gestapo. The bread and potato would surely have joined their “fattening counterparts” in the trash had they not been convinced they aren’t solely responsible for making people fat. Luckily science has proved carbs innocent since good health requires balance, not extreme diets driven by fear. Potatoes are once again en vogue so I suggest you grab yourself some bounties of the soil. This simple method will allow you plenty of time to cook some eggs or just grope your date. The smell of the roasting potatoes will be too enticing for them to resist.
Ingredients:
1. 1 potato cut into bite-sized pieces
2. 1 onion chopped coarsely
3. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
4. Rosemary (fresh if possible)
5. 4 garlic cloves diced
Step 1
Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F. Arrange the potatoes, onions, garlic evenly around a pan. Crown it all with rosemary, then add the olive oil, and salt to taste. 
Step 2
Cook the potato and friends for 25-30 minutes. You will know they are done when the potatoes have softened and can be easily pierced with a fork. Serve it up to accompany an awesome scramble, compliment a breakfast burrito or throw it at the cult members going door to door trying to convert people on their Saturday mornings.
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carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES | Tagged: bang, breakfast, breakfast burrito, Breakfast potatoes, carbs, cilantro, compliments, delicious, easy, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, naked, onion, onions, potatoes, protein, roast, romance, rosemary, rosemary potatoes, SEDUCTION, set and forget, sex, side dish, simple, sinful, taters | 
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Posted by cooktobang
November 26, 2008
Rambling, gambling and scrambling for a little sexy time.
Did the date go better than expected? Has it already been a long morning already with the third round of coed naked Wrestle Mania? You both must be famished and deserve a worthy recharge. Protein and veggies should get you back on track for the afternoon of blowing of errands to go for gold in the one-hour orgasm. Scrambles combine the flavor of the omelet with the simplicity of a boring side of scrambled eggs. It’s chef’s choice in what to toss in the pan with the eggs. There are as many possible combinations of veggies, meats, cheeses and flavor as sexual positions in that perverted mind of yours. Below is essentially a killer combo available in my fridge at the time of creation. My ravenous breakfast companion would have settled for a Pop Tart. But why would I allow such a beautiful beggar to settle for anything less than an edible orgasm?
Ingredients (for two):
1. 1 teaspoon of salt
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. 1 chicken sausage chopped in bite-size pieces
4. 3 eggs
5. 2 handfuls of spinach
6. 6 ½ a red bell pepper diced
7. 1 handful of shredded mozzarella cheese
8. 2 green onions diced
9. ½ a handful of cilantro chopped finely
Step 1
Crack the eggs in a bowl, thrown in the salt and the cilantro and beat together.
Step 2
Throw the olive oil in a pan and sauté the green onions and sausage on medium heat until they brown. Add the spinach and red peppers, cooking until the spinach wilts and peppers soften.
Step 3
Pour in the eggs mixture over the sausage and veggies evenly so it creates a circular pancake. Once the eggs harden, mix it all around until cook thoroughly.
Step 4
Turn off the heat, toss the mozzarella over the eggs, and cover with a lid. Give the cheese a minute or so to melt and serve it up with some breakfast potatoes, fruit salad, or the warm embrace of a tortilla.
1 Comment | MORNING WOOD, RECIPES | Tagged: bang, breakfast, cheese, cilantro, delicious, easy, Egg scramble, eggs, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onion, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, melt, MORNING WOOD, mozzarella, naked, protein, red pepper, romance, sausage, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinful | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 25, 2008
The mystique of aphrodisiacs have been cock-blocked by science. But genuine physiological effects that made these ingredients magical in the Ancient World still yield results today. Below is an overview of these gifts from the love gods:
• ARTICHOKES were reserved only for men in 16th Century Europe because of the sexual power they presumably granted. Thanks to modern, science we know they merely freshen your breath and detoxify your liver thanks to the cornucopia of vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals packed into every bite.
• ASPARAGUS is a natural Viagra. 17th Century UK naturalist Nicholas Culpepper hailed asparagus for “stir(ring) up lust in man and woman.” The magical vegetable is loaded with potassium and Vitamin A that boost sex drives and the folic acid produces histamines that increase the power of an orgasm.
• AVOCADOS contains fiber, folate, vitamins B6, C and E, beta-sitosterol and glutathione, which can enhance feelings of love and romance. The Aztecs used avocados as a cholesterol-free, sodium-free, sexual stimulant, which just so happens to make most meals from salad to sandwiches taste way sexier.
• BASIL aids circulation, which can stimulate sex drives and increase fertility in women. The scent drives men bat-shit insane so women in ancient times dusted their breasts with powdered basil when they were on the prowl. Hey now!
• BEETS have been used since Roman times to increase male virility due to their high boron content. “Take favors in the beetroot fields” was a popular early 20th Century euphemism for visiting prostitutes.
• BLACK BEANS contain enough protein, fiber and folic acid to get our blood going, plus plenty of the amino acid tryptophan to relax us and get us in the mood.
• CHILES increase your heart rate that can enhance your pleasure receptors and releases endorphins that can make you feel energized or like you’re floating (or banging). No wonder Montezuma drank it in his hot cocoa before paying a visit to his harem.
• CHOCOLATE gets the heart rate up, increases blood flow and creates a natural feeling of well-being, euphoria, and with any luck, wanton lust. Ancient Aztec’s thought it invigorated men and made women less inhibited and they consumed it before battle or intense rounds of sexual activity.
• COFFEE has similar physiological effects in women that oysters cause in men: it turns them on. The female libido can be supercharged for second and thirds with some caffeinated beans and sensual words. Another cup of Joe, babe?
• FIGS are a killer source of flavonoids, polyphenols, and antioxidants that help you go long and strong. They look like a woman’s unmentionables, symbolized fertility in Ancient Greece and drove Cleopatra randy. Many biblical historians wager that the fig originated in the Garden of Eden. Talk about a forbidden fruit!
• GINGER has turned on most civilizations including the Chinese, Greek, Roman and Indian where it was hailed in the Kama Sutra. The root’s arousing scent and health benefits does a male body good, increasing heart rate and perspiration (like in sex) and gets the blood flowing to your extremities, naughty parts included.
• GRAPES were getting people off way before records were ever kept. Just ask the Egyptians or Greeks or Romans who can attest to the effectiveness of feeding this anti-oxidant finger food to their lovers. And we haven’t even touched on the subject of wine yet!
• HONEY is rich in Vitamin B (root of testosterone) and boron (helps body process estrogen) so both sexes are covered. It was the nectar of Aphrodite and medieval couples would channel their inner Barry White by drinking mead. Why do you think they call it a honeymoon?
• OYSTERS contain high levels of zinc that increase male potency, along with D-aspartic acid and NMDA compounds that can release hormones like testosterone and estrogen. The fact that oysters resemble female genitalia is beside the point.
• PINE NUTS are rich in zinc like oysters and have a long history as a natural Viagra. These magical nuts have been used in medieval European love potions and the beds of Arabian lovers.
• ROSEMARY is high in iron, calcium, and Vitamin B6, which can increase blood circulation to the skin and increase one’s sensitivity to touch. It’s powerful scent plays on our scent memories, the strongest tie to emotional and sexual experience.
• SEAFOOD of any variety has long been considered aphrodisiacs since Ancient Greece because Aphrodite was born of the sea. Beyond tasting amazing, fish and shellfish are rich in protein and omega-3 fatty acids that kick cancer’s ass so surely they can help defeat a little erectile dysfunction.
• STRAWBERRIES are not technically aphrodisiacs, but they are edible valentines shaped like hearts. They were a symbol of the Roman Goddess of love Venus and when dipped in chocolate they legitimately become aphrodisiac city.
• WATERMELON have quantities of citrulline that trigger arginine, quite literally the Viagra chemical that causes blood to flow and libidos to pump. No doubt, the fact that this refreshing fruit contains cancer-fighting nutrients like lycopene and beta-carotene will be lost on most.
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS | Tagged: aphrodisiac, artichoke, asparagus, avocado, bang, basil, beet, black beans, chiles, chocolate, circulation, coffee, delicious, easy, fig, fruit, game changer, get laid, ginger, gourmet, grape, healthy, heart, honey, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, naked, oyster, pine nuts, protein, romance, rosemary, seafood, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, strawberries, watermelon | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 24, 2008
Even a man without taste buds would have an edible orgasm from this treasure.
I challenge anyone to make these brownies and not succeed in melting the heart of your intended conquest. This dish is so sensual and irresistible that I seduced myself. It was quite the challenge to share it with my date. She couldn’t keep her finger out of my batter and licked my bowl clean. We nearly finished it off before it made it into the oven. Good thing we did because these brownies were radioactive with awesomeness. This is an aphrodisiac double feature with more chocolate than Willy Wonka could pull out of his hat with the antioxidant raspberry remix. Just thinking about these brownies brings a tear to my eyes because I know what dessert in heaven will taste like, minus the annoying harp music. Accept the raspberry brownies into your heart and sing a post-coital Hallelujah!
Ingredients:
1. 2/3 cup of baking flour
2. ¼ teaspoon of baking powder
3. ¾ cup of sweet ground chocolate/cocoa (Ghiradelli recommended)
4. ¼ teaspoon of salt
5. ½ a small package of fresh/frozen raspberries
6. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
7. 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips
8. 1 stick of butter
9. ¾ cup of sugar
10. 2 eggs
Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Sift together the flour, cocoa mix, sugar, salt and baking powder. Melt the stick of butter and beat in with eggs and vanilla extract. Mix the eggs/butter combination with the dry cocoa/flour/sugar mix into a batter. Blend in the chocolate chips and you have mind-blowing batter that you can bake or lick off your date’s naughty bits.
Step 2
Grease that small pan (9 inch square recommended) like its never been greased up before. Pour in half the batter like a pleasure-delaying seduction. Tuck those babe-licious berries into the brownie batter bed before smothering it with the other half of cocoa-laden chaos. Throw the baking pan into the oven and bake for 25-35 minutes. When in doubt, us a toothpick to dip into the brownie: if the pick comes out dry you got yourself a decadent dessert. Allow to cool for 15 minutes, then serve with ice cream, a glass of milk, or with your best deal-closing move.
1 Comment | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bake, bang, berry, brownie, chocolate, classy, delicious, dessert, easy, eggs, from scratch, fruit, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, naked, raspberry, Raspberry brownies, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinful, sugar, sweet, vanilla | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 24, 2008
The caprese salad has more disguises than a Scooby Doo villain
Caprese salad is the simplest Italian salad, but punches you in the nose with the complex flavors it yields. The buttery mozzarella, crisp tomato, and basil’s hint of the Italian countryside can put you a pimping pedestal. But sometimes delicious and light aren’t going to cut it when you are hungry enough to eat a Buick. Not to worry. This versatile salad leads a double life as a sandwich. So it’s easy to take this dish on afternoon picnics in areas secluded enough for you to make sweet love in the great outdoors. Should your date lack taste buds entirely and not like this sensational sandwich, the more for you to savor. “Sorry, sucka! But I still think your cute…wanna get busy in this grassy meadow?”
Ingredients (for 2 sandwiches):
1. 2 fresh baked sandwich rolls
2. Olive oil for drizzling
3. Balsamic vinegar for drizzling
4. ½ an avocado sliced
5. 1 tomato sliced
6. 8 ounces of fresh buffalo mozzarella sliced
7. 2 handfuls of fresh whole basil leaves
Step 1
Slice open the bread rolls and lay out the basil leaves, tomato slices, buffalo mozzarella, and avocado. Drizzle olive oil and balsamic vinegar to your liking. You want the sandwich to be moist, but not soggy. Cut the sandwich in half and serve up on a plate with a green salad or wrap up to enjoy in the park with your head in your dream girl/guy’s lap.
Leave a Comment » | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: avocado, balsamic vinegar, bang, basil, caprese salad, Caprese sandwich, cheese, classy, delicious, easy, game changer, get laid, gourmet, healthy, intercourse, italian, kinky, kitchen, lunch, mozzarella, naked, olive oil, refreshing, romance, sandwich, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinful, SINWICHES, tomato | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 22, 2008
Tickle their toast from coast to coast
The French have given Americans so much: the Statue of Liberty, tongue kissing and more varieties of food than positions in the Kama Sutra. Those beret-wearing frogs sure know how to live. They believe in embracing the finer things in life like food (including wine), art (porn counts) and sex (ménage a trios anyone?). Merci beaucoup, my French friends! Breakfast is whole lot sexier thanks to those wine-guzzling hedonists. So embrace the meal after you’re done embracing the lucky lady or man who slept over. Surprise them with this outstanding good morning treat wearing nothing more than an apron and a kinky smile. Bonus points if you use a French accent when you serve up this gourmet take on a classic breakfast dish. Ooh la la!
Ingredients (for two, two toasts each):
1. ½ cup if milk
2. Maple or breakfast syrup
3. 2 tablespoons of jam
4. 2 teaspoons of cinnamon
5. 2 eggs
6. 2 tablespoons of cream cheese
7. Butter to grease pan and serve a top the meal
8. 4 slices of Texas toast or other thick bread slices
Step 1
Cut a slice diagonally across the bread. Fill each slice with a ½ tablespoon of cream cheese, then a ½ tablespoon of jam.
Step 2
Pour the milk and crack the eggs into a wide bowl. Toss in the cinnamon and mix it all into a batter. Dip each piece of prepared bread in the bowl, and then dip again on the other side so they absorb some batter. Be sure not to leave it soaking too long or you’ll end up with flaccid French toast.
Step 3
Grease the frying pan or griddle with some butter. Throw each piece of stuffed, dipped bread and grill them up. Cook each side about 3 minutes before flipping. They will be browned, with perhaps a tiny black. Serve on a plate with a slice of butter, syrup and perhaps a proclamation of undying love.
1 Comment | MORNING WOOD, RECIPES | Tagged: bang, bread, breakfast, butter, cinnamon, classic, delicious, easy, eggs, France, French tickler, French toast, game changer, get laid, gourmet, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, milk, morning, naked, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, syrup | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Ingredients:
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 