February 18, 2009
Lay that cod on the bed and cook it's brains out
You’ve been rocking that cod all night. Your filet so cooked it’s crispy from all the heat. You’ve ridden it hard and put it away wet. It’s time to put it to bed…of veggies. Welcome to the CTB jungle, baby! You’re gonna die…from an orgasm overdose. This dish overflows with aphrodisiac-loaded potential for seducing even the most prude of Prudences. Sure the price of ingredients ain’t cheap, but you can’t build a rocket to the moon out of sardine cans from the 99cent store. I tried and crash-landed outside of Tijuana where I got a great FISH TACO. This recipe is quality over quantity for that quality someone you really really want. I warn you that it will be rather HARD to determine which orgasm you prefer. The sexual or culinary? Just consider it a multiple orgasm and be done with it.
*Special shout out to master chef Jane for this audaciously awesome recipe.
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $20, but worth every goddamn penny!
Drinking Buddy: White wine; just drink the rest of the bottle (see below)
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 Portobello mushroom
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. ½ cup of white wine
4. 1 leek
5. 1 tablespoon of salt
6. Pepper to taste
7. 2 strips of bacon (or turkey or veggie bacon)
8. 2 8-ounce filets of black cod
9. 1 large carrot peeled
10. 1 handful or dried porcini mushrooms
11. 2 garlic cloves minced
Step 1
First you must prep the leeks and Portobello mushrooms that are filthier than your mind. Cut the stem and most of the dark green off the leek, then spilt in half and wash them thoroughly, being sure to wash out the grit between the folds, then chopping thin slices. Peel, filet and dice the carrots. Finally, wash off the Portobello mushroom thoroughly, pull out the stalk gently, scrap out the black gills and chop them into 1-inch thick strips.
Step 2
Heat a large pan on medium-high. Throw in the bacon and cook out all the fat before tossing in the leeks, garlic and carrots and cook them down (approx 5 minutes). Slice the mushroom strips into bite-sized pieces, throw in the salt and cook down further (approx 3 minutes). Dump in the white wine, and turn down heat and allow to simmer while you do Step 3.
Step 3
Take the dried porcini mushrooms and pulverize them in a coffee grinder (if you don’t have grinder, use mortal & pestle, or chop with knife). Throw the shroom dust in a deep container and rub each side of the black cod in it. Heat the olive oil up in another pan on high heat and throw on the coated cod filets cooking each side until crispy before flipping (3 minutes each side). Serve each filet over a bed of veggies.
Who’s getting laid tonight? You are!
1 Comment | 
aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bacon, bang, bed of veggies, black cod, black cod recipe, carrot, delicious, DIY, dried porcini mushrooms, easy, fiber, filet, fish, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, leek, naked, olive oil, pepper, porcini mushroom coated fish, Porcini Mushroom coated grilled cod on bed of leeks carrots and Portobello mushrooms, Portobello mushroom, protein, recipe, romantic, salt, sauté, seafood, seduce, sex, shroom coated cod recipe, take to bed, tasty, turkey bacon, veggie bacon, white wine, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
February 6, 2009
Class up the Jell-O by setting them in citrus rinds
Jell-O shots are a symbol of youthful indiscretion. The very use of them conjures up memories of high school or college parties. Turning alcohol into a solid, easily tossable form indicates a clear problem with authority. Anyone making, serving or slurping these lacks maturity and predictability. Shame shame, they know your name! If the kid in you still wants to play hard, read on. If you are shaking your head with disappointment, might I recommend the AARP website where they offer great tips for keeping your shuffleboard skills tip top during winter. Fact: Jell-O shots are silly. Fact: Jell-O shots are a crapshoot of adventure. Part of the fun is seeing how hard they’ll hit you (CTB recommends caution, of course). Chances are good that you’ll end up drunkenly manhandling someone who will hopefully molest you right back. Both your chins will be stained from gelatin and your brains tainted with booze. Do Bill Cosby proud and say it loud, “There’s always room for Jell-O!”
Total time: approximately 4 hours
Projected cost: $6 (excluding vodka)
Drinking Buddy: You’re eating your drink, Mm mm!
Ingredients:
1. 1 package of Jell-O, chef’s choice on flavor
2. 2 cups of vodka
3. 2 cups of water
4. Handful of separated mint leaves
5. 6 lemons or oranges to half & hollow out
Step 1
Bring the water to a roaring boil. Dump in the Jell-O mix and stir until the powder dissolves completely (approx 2 minutes). Turn off the heat and pour the cold or room temperature vodka into the mix.
Step 2
Cut the lemon or oranges in half and hollow them out. Use a ladle to pour the unformed Jell-O liquid to the brim of each hollow rind. Place in the fridge and allow them to cool and harden (approx 4 hours). Halfway through the process, place a mint sprig in each half and allow them to set. Serve the Jell-O shots up
There's always room for Jell-O!
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, carboluscious, fusion, libation lubrication, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegetarian | Tagged: alcohol, bang, booze, creeper, delicious, dessert, disguise, drink, drunk, easy, game changer, gathering, gelatin, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, halves, hidden, immature, intercourse, Jell-O, Jell-O shots recipe, Jello shots recipe, jelly, kitchen, lemon, mint, naked, orange, party, party time, recipe, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, solid alcohol, sweet, tasty, vegetarian, vodka, water, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 31, 2009
Red Pepper 42, Black Bean 42, Hut Hut Hike!
I’m gasping for air as I write this post. Good god is this veggie chili sexy, healthy and satisfying. Trust me when I say this is going to be a challenge to not eat it all before I bring it to the Super Bowl party this weekend. It’s like waiting for marriage to engage in sexual relations. It’s a nice idea in theory. But seriously, why? Sure it might feel great to finally experience pure ecstasy with the person you will spend the rest of your life. But then again it might be a huge let down when you finally claim what’s yours. Luckily you don’t have to worry about that with this chili dish. It actually tastes better the next day once the flavors have wrapped their legs around the veggies and grinded until they make culinary cunnilingus. If you do manage to keep this ridiculously healthy chili around for the Super Bowl or other party, you will certainly be busy taking down phone numbers from eager foodies with an appetite for you. Take a number.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: A beer, margarita or other football-watching beverage
Ingredients (serves a party or 2 hungry people for days):
1. ½ cup of vegetable oil
2. 1 tablespoon of dried oregano
3. 1 8-ounce can of corn
4. Sour cream for garnish
5. 1 teaspoon of salt
6. Shredded cheddar cheese for garnish
7. 2 tablespoons of ground cumin
8. 1 28-ounce can of whole tomatoes
9. 1 can of garbanzo beans
10. 1 can of black beans
11. 2 stalks of celery chopped coarsely
12. 1 green pepper chopped coarsely
13. 1 red pepper chopped coarsely
14. 4 cloves of garlic chopped finely
15. 2 dried New Mexico chilies
16. 1 large carrot peeled and chopped coarsely
17. 1 yellow pepper coarsely
18. 1 onion chopped coarsely.
19. 2 handfuls of mushrooms chopped coarsely
Step 1
Heat up the vegetable oil in a stockpot on medium-high. Sautee the garlic solo until they brown (approx 30 seconds). Cook the onions until they become translucent (approx 2 minutes). Throw in all the carrots, celery, yellow, red and green peppers and cook until they soften, stirring occasionally. (approx 15 minutes)
Step 2
It’s time to spice things up. Cup up the New Mexico chilies, then toss them into the pot with the mushrooms let it simmer (approx 2 minutes). Now smack it all up with ground cumin, oregano and salt and cook in the flavor (approx 10 minutes).
Step 3
Open up the can of tomatoes and drain the juice into a bowl before chopping the tomatoes up coarsely. Add the tomatoes and juice onto the pot and cook until the tomatoes dissolve and become part of the sauce (approx 10 minutes).
Step 4
Drain the liquid from the cans of corn, garbanzo beans and black beans, then dump them all into the pot and cook them with all the other goodies until they become united in their chili power (approx 10 minutes). Serve up with a sexy selection of toppings like shredded cheddar, sour cream and diced red onions.
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Posted by cooktobang
January 27, 2009
One good choke deserves another
Hey, you there! Halt! Step away from the chicken. It didn’t do you no wrong. I can speak as a character witness for the fowl. He ain’t a bad bird. The guy is just a feathered freak doing his thing. There is nothing shameful in doing your thing. Besides, why settle for a night in pummeling that innocent mound when you can be out there getting someone else to choke that bad boy? Trust me when I say both you and your chicken will both be better off for it. Which brings me to this pure unadulterated APHRODISIAC bomb. You are eating a 98.5% payload of vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals to fuel the evening’s cardiovascular requirements. And if that wasn’t enough for you, at no additionally cost, we’ll also throw in an extra kick of sexy time explosion with the spicy aioli to give you a head start in the hot and sweaty department. We here at COOK TO BANG standby our warranty. If you don’t like it, you can return it. We’re THAT confident in our product. Happy munching.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: White wine is a classy touch, especially something dry like Chardonnay
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
2. 1/2 teaspoon of salt
3. 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise
4. 1 large artichoke
5. 1 lemon cut in half
6. ½ a dried chipotle pepper
7. 1 clove of garlic chopped finely
Step 1
Steam the artichokes on high heat until the artichoke opens up and you can pull out the leaves with ease (approx 35-45 minutes). While they steam, make the sauce in Step 2. When the artichokes are steaming with APHRODISIAC loaded goodness, cut them down the middle slowly. Use a spoon to scoop out the very center where the wispy flowery pieces nest, leaving the artichoke heart intact (the dish’s G spot). Set them on a plate and squeeze one of the lemon halves into open artichoke.
Step 2
Cut up the dried chipotle chili finely. Mix it together with garlic, ½ a lemon, mayonnaise, salt, and cayenne pepper. Refrigerate until the artichoke and your date are ready to rumble.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, cayenne pepper, chipotle, choke your chicken, delicious, easy, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, lemon artichoke, mayonnaise, naked, recipe, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, spicy aioli recipe, Steamed artichoke recipe, steamed artichokes, tasty, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 11, 2009
Lunch never tasted so egg-cellent!
A few years back I was in the UK for work, but treated it like a vacation. I promised my mother I would look up an old friend of hers, Lady something or other. We met for teatime in her manor outside of London with her daughter in tow. The daughter was in her early twenties and looked like Keira Knightley with a silver spoon shoved way up her bum. The girl was gorgeous, but a far cry from the good time Britons I befriended at a London techno club the previous evening. Little lady spoon-up-her-ass ignored the boorish American eating egg salad sandwiches and charming her mother. After our spot of tea, my mother’s friend instructed her daughter to show me around the grounds of their estate. She reluctantly showed me the horses, emus and llamas, her mother’s prized rose garden and finally the neatly manicured maze. You can tell how rich British person is by the size of their maze. This maze was HUGE. I insisted we venture in and allowed her to lead me through. To this day, I don’t know whether she got us lost on purpose. What I am sure of is that this lady became a tramp away from prying eyes. This girl who had earlier regarded me as less appealing than dogshit on her shoe suddenly pounced on me like a lioness in heat. We returned to the manor tousled with grass stains all over her frilly white dress. She returned to her icy cold robot mode, never mentioning our unmentionable act. I consumed more tea and egg salad sandwiches, which tasted way better post-coitus.
Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $3
Drinking Buddy: This is lunch time fare so an iced tea or lemonade, unless you are a three martini lunch kind of guy
Ingredients (for two):
1. 3 eggs
2. 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise
3. ½ a teaspoon of cayenne pepper
4. Salt to taste
5. ¼ lime of juice
6. ½ an avocado (had to throw APHRODISIAC in the mix)
7. 1 green onion chopped coarsely
8. 4 slices of bread
Step 1
Get a pot of water boiling and toss the eggs until they are hard-boiled (approx 5 minutes). Place the eggs in a bowl of water and ice to cool them down before you remove the shells.
Step 2
Combine the eggs, green onions, cayenne pepper, salt and limejuice in a bowl. Mix it all up with a fork to smash the eggs into tiny chunks. Your egg salad should have a yellow tinge from the yolks and cayenne.
Step 3
Toast the bread, preferably not too dark. Split up the egg salad between the two slices of toasted bread. Set avocado on top of each, close the sandwiches, split them in half and serve.
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, british, RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: avocado, bang, bread, cayenne pepper, delicious, easy, egg salad, egg salad recipe, Egg salad sandwich recipe, English, fancy, fast, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onion, guarantee, intercourse, kitchen, lime juice, lunch, mayonnaise, naked, protein, recipe, romance, sandwich, SEDUCTION, sex, teatime | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 8, 2009
This fish taco is your amigo con benefits!
Few things are more satisfying than diving tongue first into a fishy pink taco. At least that is what I learned while on an unforgettable first date. It started with a lousy Mexican meal we both refused to eat. We drank tequila instead. Some of the details are hazy, but somehow us joking about driving down to Mexico to find the perfect taco turned into reality. I remember rubbing her knee as she gunned her banged up Jetta straight through the border crossing and into chaos that involved me wearing a balloon hat sombrero at a otherwise gringo-free night club with a rodeo in the back. What I do recall with vivid clarity was the next day. I was hung-over and a tad confused about why I was standing on an Ensenada beach haggling with a tiny grandmother over the price of a luchadore wrestling mask. Luckily a boat crashed up on shore with a fisherman holding out his catch of the day put it in perspective. “Tacos?” “Si, senor!” My man lit a fire right there on the sand, gutted the fish, smothered the fillet with some mystery marinade and grilled that on a tiny pan. Our simple goal was achieved. To this day, the perfect taco. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try it at home for your hot date. Did I mention the APHRODISIAC triple threat of seafood, chili, and avocado?
Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Cerveza (beer) or tequila, or both, like they do in Baja California!
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 dashes of black pepper
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. ½ teaspoon of paprika
4. ½ tablespoon of mayonnaise
5. Hot sauce or SALSA
6. 1 6 ounce tilapia fillet or red snapper
7. 2 lime wedges for recipe, extra for flavor
8. 1 handful of chopped cabbage
9. 4 corn tortillas or two larger flour tortillas (pictured)
10. 2 cloves of garlic
11. ½ a Serrano chili chopped finely, a whole chili if you want a kick in the head
12. ½ an avocado sliced thinly
13. ¼ of a red onion chopped finely
Step 1
To create the fish marinade, mix the garlic, Serrano chili, paprika, black pepper and olive oil in a bowl. Smother the fish fillet in the marinade and leave in the bowl to marinate. (Approx 15 minutes)
Step 2
Why not mix up some coleslaw while the fish marinates? Mix up the red onion, cabbage, mayonnaise, black pepper, paprika and limejuice in a bowl.
Step 3
It’s time to grill that sexed up fish fillet. Grill it for 2-3 minutes on each side. Squeeze lime once you flip it and cook through. Remove the fish and break up into taco size chunks.
Step 4
Spread each tortilla out and mix equal parts fish and coleslaw, crowning it all with avocado slices. Kick it up with some hot sauce, or better yet, MANGO SALSA. Ole mi amigos!
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, IT’S ON!-TREES, mexican, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, Baja California, bang, coleslaw, coleslaw recipe, cook on the beach, delicious, easy, ensenada, fancy, fast, fish, fisherman, fishy pink tacos, game changer, get laid, gourmet, grilled, Grilled fish taco recipe, guarantee, healthy, hot sauce, intercourse, kitchen, mexican, mexico, naked, pink taco, recipe, red snapper, road trip, rodeo, romance, seafood, SEDUCTION, sex, sombrero, spicy, tasty, tilapia | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 6, 2009
Rub-a-dub-dub all over my grub.
The time has come to essentially grill one aphrodisiac in the essence of another. No, I’m not talking about boiling vodka and Viagra together, although I hear they serve that ice cold in Tijuana. In a matter of 10 minutes you can have two salmon steaks grilled to perfectly in avocado butter. The creamy nutrients and silky texture of the avocado absorbs naturally into the tender, protein-packed salmon, essentially becoming one perfect package. It’s as if these two supernaturally sexy ingredients were destined to be together like Romeo and Juliet or Thelma and Louise. Let fate take over your date and you’ll be naked and out of breath on your bed before you can say, “Another glass of wine?”
Total time: approximately 8 minutes
Projected cost: $12
Drinking Buddy: White wine or beer
Ingredients (for two):
1. 2 salmon steaks
2. ½ teaspoon of garlic powder
3. ½ teaspoon of onion powder
4. A dash of salt
5. ½ a lemon of juice
6. 2 green onions diced
7. 1 avocado
Step 1
Mix up the green onions, avocado (scooped out of skin), lemon juice, onion powder and garlic powder in a bowl, smashing it all up with a fork, whisk or hand blender. The avocado butter will look much like guacamole.
Step 2
Spread the avocado butter evenly over each side of the salmon steaks, beginning with the topside. On medium heat, heat up a portable grill or frying pan and put the avocado butter side of the salmon down. Cover the other side of the salmon steaks with avocado butter and squeeze lemon juice over them. Once the outside of the salmon turns pinkish-white (approx 3 minutes), flip the steaks making sure not to lose the grilled avocado butter. Grill the other side so the salmon is cooked thoroughly (approx 2 minutes) and serve up with some righteous veggies like asparagus.
Leave a Comment » | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, avocado butter, bang, delicious, dinner, easy, entree, fancy, fish, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green onion, Grilled salmon in avocado butter, grilled salmon recipe, guarantee, healthy, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, naked, onion, recipe, romance, salmon steaks, seafood, SEDUCTION, sex, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 5, 2009
- Sesame equals sex-to-me
So you’re game for a healthy aphrodisiac that is fast, easy and aesthetically pleasing? Look no further than this fine sesame asparagus recipe. Not only do you have the natural Viagra benefits of the asparagus, but the sweet, sticky honey will ramp up your date’s libido. You might score extra points for the dish being vegetarian and amazingly nutritional, as all aphrodisiacs are. Duh! This side dish will legitimize even the most pathetic attempts at an entrée because it is so damn pretty. Did I mention it was tasty too? The Chinese know what they were doing. My first dance with sesame asparagus happened during a trip to Hong Kong. I was eating at an upscale eatery in Kowloon overlooking the Hong Kong cityscape exploding in choreographed colors. The real lightshow was going on in my mouth, which eventually set my feet dancing like the white devil maniac that I am. Luckily I found a kind local girl to correct my foolish ways and show me around the city, including the magnificent view from her bedroom.
Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Depends on what entrée you serve with it, CTB recommends a smooth red wine
Ingredients:
1. 2 tablespoons of dried sesame seeds
2. 1 tablespoon of soy sauce
3. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
4. 1 tablespoon of honey
5. 1 pound of fresh asparagus
6. ½ a lemon worth of juice
Step 1
Mix the soy sauce, olive oil, honey and lemon into a sticky sauce that would glisten in the noonday sun.
Step 2
Steam the asparagus until you can easily pierce them with a fork (approx 5 minutes). Toss the steamed asparagus with the sauce. Place the drenched asparagus in a baking pan with room between each stalk. Sprinkle the sesame seeds evenly over the asparagus.
Step 3
Set the oven to a high broil. Throw the baking sheet with asparagus on the highest rack. Allow the sesame seeds to toast and stick firmly to the asparagus stalks. (Approx 6 minutes) Serve each stalk carefully by grabbing them with tongs to avoid messing up the sesame seeds. Presentation is important.
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, Chinese, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, asian, asparagus, bang, broil, Chinese, delicious, easy, fancy, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, honey, intercourse, kitchen, lemon juice, naked, olive oil, recipe, romance, SEDUCTION, sesame, sesame asparagus, Sesame asparagus recipe, sex, side dish, soy sauce, steam, tasty, toss, vegetarian | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 24, 2008
This Naughty Nog, ba-rumpa-pum-pum
So it’s Christmas time. You may need to bring something to your (or your significant other’s) family holiday party or perhaps you and a sexy someone have decided to do your own Christmas thang. It’s about that time to bust something homemade out to leave an outstanding impression. Make this homemade eggnog recipe you will just do that. If all goes to plan everyone will be too tanked to think of you as anything but a champ. Encourage the lot of them to drink up, be merry. Not merry yet? Have another glass of this naughty nog. After enough glasses of this creamy cocktail and they’d forgive you for banging the dog (do us all a favor and abstain from this). My first experiment with this drink happened during a frightening visit to the ex-Navy colonel father of a girl I was dating after college. She told me about his medals of valor, not to mention his collection of antique guns. This was a delicate situation that was easily defused by strong eggnog I threw together on a whim. By the end of the night Colonel Kill You In Your Sleep was crooning along to Bing Crosby Christmas carols and calling me “son.” The eggnog was like Kevlar and I was the drunken Baby Jesus.
Total time: approximately 1¼ hours = 3 minutes to prep, the rest to chill
Projected cost: $5 (not including liquor)
Eating Buddy: Christmas cookies
Ingredients (for 6 sexy servings):
1. 2 ½ cups of whole milk
2. ½ cup of dark rum
3. ½ cup of brandy
4. 2 cups of heavy cream
5. 1 cup brown sugar
6. 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
7. Nutmeg to taste
8. 6 eggs
Step 1
In a large mixing bowl, add each ingredient separately and beat them in this order: eggs, brown sugar, and vanilla extract. After beating it all together, toss in some ground nutmeg.
Step 2
Like in Step 1, add each ingredient and mix thoroughly in this order: heavy cream, milk, rum and brandy. Beat it together again and chill in the fridge for at least an hour before serving. After chilling, mix it up again and then ladle up some glasses and sprinkle more nutmeg. Ho ho ho! 
1 Comment | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, holidays, libation lubrication, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS | Tagged: Alcoholic eggnog, bang, beverage, brandy, Christmas, cold, cream, creamy, decadent, delicious, drink, drunk, easy, eggnog recipe, eggs, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, holidays, homemade eggnog, intercourse, kitchen, milk, naked, recipe, romance, rum, SEDUCTION, sex, soothing, wet, winter | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 15, 2008
- Hola, amigos. Breakfast burritos makes your game grow.
The breakfast burrito is amazingly versatile in its ease to make and ability to please. The only ingredients you absolutely need are eggs, tortilla and hot sauce. But the more sexy ingredients you can add, the greater the meal. Be bold, be imaginative, be victorious! Below is a recipe based on what was in my fridge at the moment. My date had no complaints since she downed the burrito in three large bites then dragged me by the hand back to bed. Much praise for the people of Mexico and their culinary masterpiece. Mornings have never been so easy. Ole!
Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Orange juice or beer if it’s one of those mornings
Ingredients (for two burrito):
1. 2 tortillas
2. 1 teaspoon of salt
3. 1 tablespoon olive oil
4. Hot sauce (chef’s choice)
5. 1 sausage link cut into thin strips
6. ½ a jalapeño diced
7. 3 eggs
8. 1 handful chopped cilantro
9. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
10. 1 handful jack or mozzarella cheese
11. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
12. 2 handfuls of fresh, washed spinach
Step 1
Cook the sausage strips in a pan on medium heat without oil until they brown, set aside. Beat the eggs with cilantro and salt. Turn your oven to the lowest setting (about 150 degrees F) and warm up your tortillas.
Step 2
On medium heat, heat the olive oil into a pan and cook the green onions for 1 minute. Throw in the spinach and cook until it wilts. Pour in the egg mixture and scramble it until it is still moist but not runny. Turn off the heat, throw the cheese over the eggs and cover with a lid so the cheese melts.
Step 3
Remove the tortillas from the oven and place on separate plates. Drop half the sausage into each, and then place eggs into each pocket. Crown each burrito with tomatoes and hot sauce before rolling it up tight. Serve with orange juice or beer if you’re nursing a hangover.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, breakfast, breakfast burrito, burrito, delicious, easy, eggs, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, intercourse, jack cheese, jalapeño, kinky, kitchen, mexican, morning, mozzarella, naked, post-coital, romance, sausage, SEDUCTION, sex, spicy, spinach, tortilla | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Ingredients (serves 2):
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 