Some dances are forbidden for good reason. Most people don’t want Pandora’s box open. All the yeah yeahs get out and inspire naughty behavior. For the average church-going type, this mindset is justifiable. But the act of reading this website puts you in the OTHER category with the greatest minds of any time. We question the status quo. So why wouldn’t you dance a dance considered morally bankrupt if it makes you feel good? That is merely their misguided opinion based on an unbendable worldview. But not you, dear reader. Have at it! This salad shall inspire you to dance with your partner in ways that will make them gasp, while onlookers blush. To hell with the haters who just can’t hang with your self-expression! You’re too busy throwing down with every last bit of lusty passion anyhow. Now sashay already!
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: White wine or a BANGARITA
Step 1
Preheat your oven to 350°F/175°C. Slice the mango on either side of the pit. Cut checkerboard slices into the mango meat, pour in half the honey and balsamic vinegar, and rub it in. Throw the mango halves into a oven safe plate or pan and roast until the meat softens and absorbs the flavor (approx 25 min). Scoop out the mango slices, rubbing them into the sauce.
Step 2
Combine the olive oil, and remaining honey and balsamic vinegar, stirring it into a dressing.
Step 3
Toss the field greens, mango, and dressing. Serve up with a delectable SINWICH and you are golden.
The only way to be a true player is to wow your date into submission. It needs to be clear that not banging you is their loss. That requires excellence in all that you do. Cooking is an obvious extension of the pursuit of perfection. Nail one or two recipes and you have a repertoire perfect for attracting and seducing new play pals. It’s those little things they will remember and recount to their friends when they are gabbing over coffee or cosmos. So you want to be the centerpiece of conversation singing your accolades rather than picking apart your extension flaws. A good first impression on their mouth can outshine even your ruthless lothario instincts. So be amazing at all times. Glaze some scallops with tangy temptation, and then kick back and let their attraction boil over. Read the rest of this entry »
Pom pom pomegranate, pom pom pomegranate, pomegranate, master of fruit!
The seedy, juicy, messy Biblical fruit has invaded my kitchen. This so-called super fruit is fabled to combat cancer, heart disease and ugliness. The juice stains deep red so it has to be the mark of something special, right? Naturally, wanting to make sure my readers are not only sexually satisfied, but healthy enough to enjoy the vigorous exercise associated with banging, I am bringing the pomegranate into the COOK TO BANG fold. The seeds are a challenge to set free, but the joy they bring with each bite make them well worth the trouble. It’s not unlike removing a stubborn bra: you may jam your finger in an effort to set free a pair of glorious juggernauts. A little extra effort will pay off dividends when your date is touched by your concern for their health. Come dessert time it will be paid forward and hopefully again for breakfast. Now go on and shake it until you make it! Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes you gotta big time your salads. Sure you could serve your date up a simple green salad. But unless you’re following it up with some bodacious entrée, that date of yours will lose interest long before dessert. And that’s if they don’t fall asleep face-first in your uninspired salad. That is why I went all big pimpin’ with this salad. The hot Chiquita bonita I had over wanted something slamming that would not be expanding her sexy backside. Aye yi, la Capitan! The result: our expectations (her appetite; my libido) were surpassed. I might as well have been drinking Chardonnay out of a pimp chalice with the Cook To Bang logo written in diamonds. Read the rest of this entry »
In these dark times, when oil gushes and babies cry, we need something to rely on. Something that can cheers us up. For me, that comes in the form of food and sex. Cook To Bang can’t save the world, but it might be able to save your mood. Put your partisan politics aside and do as Obama said during his campaign, “Yes we can.” Yes we can make a delicious meal. Yes we can serve it to someone we want to sleep with. Yes we can bang all night and into the morning. Yes we can make post-coital breakfast. Read the rest of this entry »
Grilled salmon sandwiches WILL get the attention of just about anyone you care to engage in hanky panky. Give them the unexpected and they shall swoon. At least that is what I find every time I try something new or unusual. Even if you crash and burn, brownie points will be yours. But alas, I vouch for this recipe as “a friend of mine” in the mob tradition. This recipe is worthy of putting my life on the line. I have no quarrels with saying, “Yes, you may shoot me in the face if you don’t like it”. Sock-it-to-me! Read the rest of this entry »
I was originally only going to pick my five favorite RECIPE CHALLENGE submissions. But there were so many outstanding entries that a few warmed over my cold heart made of steel and wire. So six of my beloved fans got themselves signed copies of the COOK TO BANG book. Thank you to all 73 people who submitted outstanding recipes. I would gladly cook you a candle lit dinner so long as you are hot, female, and don’t have a man at home with a loaded gun. Now’s your chance to decide who wins the perfect pair of CALIVIRGIN‘s award-winning Cold-Pressed Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Barrel-Aged Balsamic Vinegar. Voting ends Friday, June 11th.
This final edition in the 2010 CTB Recipe Challenge comes from Karin in Ft. Collins, CO. Here’s to bringing on the foux da fafa French connection. Karin writes:
I satisfy my man with a hearty meal and with his pleasure fulfilled I can be pleased in return. This recipe may seem daunting but believe me it is well worth the foreplay. With the right prep the ‘oven’ does the majority of the work and gives the strength the to keeps everything up all night long and keep the au jus flowing. This recipe is surely is femme fatale. Ooh la la! Read the rest of this entry »
This recipe comes from Olly in San Diego, CA. Very inspiring use of potatoes here. Olly writes:
What can I say about this? We got carbs and protein welded together in a half crispy, half tender bump and grind in your mouth. It’s time to cast your rod and catch one of the many fish in the sea. Slather them up with your love potion and show them all the culinary affection you can muster. Read the rest of this entry »
Calling all Cook To Bangers! The time has come to prove your culinary seduction skills. We’re hosting a recipe challenge to see who can come up with the sexiest recipe.
The Rules:
Submit your sexiest recipe with a CTB-worthy title and short intro. We will select our five favorite recipes and recreate them in the Cook To Bang kitchen, documenting each step in the process. Every day next week we will post a new recipe. CTB readers will select their favorite recipe. The recipe that receives the most votes wins the grand prize. Submit your recipes to: cooktobang@gmail.com
The Prizes:
Each recipe selected and recreated in the Cook To Bang kitchen will receive a signed copy of the COOK TO BANG book.
The Grand Prize winner will receive the stunning pair of Napa Valley’s CALIVIRGIN award-winning Cold-Pressed Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Barrel-Aged Balsamic Vinegar.
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Posted by cooktobang 
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 