June 13, 2011
- Like a good homie, these chicken wings got your back
Some guys are breast men; others are legmen; I’m a wingman. My single friends (male and female) can attest to my ability to create connections that often lead to copulation. You’re all very welcome. But that’s what friends do for each other. And you should be no different. Lovers come and go, but friendships can last a lifetime and age like fine wines. And that’s why you need to look out for your people whether that means offering a shoulder to cry on, a pivot so they can get that hottie at the bar’s number, or just serving them up a plate of chicken wings. I won’t lie to you and say that chicken wings are sexy. Barbaric yes with the tearing meat off the bone with your teeth, but subtle and sexy like a sultry salad or sexy soup they are not. But if you have yourself a sports fan that wants to watch the game between banging marathons then this recipe is for you. This dish is fast to prep, quicker to cook and will be consumed in the blink of an eye. Now be a good friend and help your hungry posse out (especially if it’s just the two of you). Read the rest of this entry »
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FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES, sports | Tagged: appetizer, bang, broil, brown sugar, chicken, Chicken wings, citrus, concentrate, delicious, drumettes, easy, game changer, game time, get laid, glaze, gourmet, guarantee, honey, intercourse, jalapeño, kitchen, naked, orange juice, pineapple juice, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, spicy, sports, wings | 
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Posted by cooktobang
May 16, 2011
Leave 'em beggin' for bacon
In the immortal words of lady hip hop divas TLC, “I ain’t too proud to beg!” Good to know. Because that is the attitude you should inspire in your dates. The most effective way to do that is to blow their goddamn minds with mind-blowing nibbles. Between good eats and being a great lay, you will brainwash them. They will be begging you for another taste. It’s like a harem full of opium addicts. Only your fix will give them the satisfaction they require. Wrap it up tight in meaty goodness. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, appetizer, bacon, bacon-wrapped shrimp recipe, bang, banging, beggin’ wrapped shrimp, begging, brainwash, delicious, DIY, easy, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, harem, homemade, honey, I ain’t too proud to beg, intercourse, jumbo shrimp, kitchen, libido, naked, nibble, opium addicts, recipe, sea salt, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shellfish, tapas, tasty, tlc, turkey, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 17, 2011
There's polenty of room for two, but we'll make room for your cute friend.
What are you worrying about? We have plenty of room. So what if my place is small? I ain’t rich…yet. Besides, Cozy = Cosmic Connection. Our auras will be touching. Aura friction is just what you need to cheer up over the state of the economy. Just think of me as the spark to jolt you back into positivity. Now come on into my cramp little slice of heaven and make yourself comfy. Enjoy this little something I whipped up to show you, there is indeed Polenty of Room or Two. My bedroom is just down the hall. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, fusion, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: appetizer, aura friction, bang, banging, black pepper, cosmic connection, delicious, DIY, easy, economy, finger food, first, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, grapes, green onion, guarantee, heaven, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, maple syrup, naked, olive oil, polenta, polenta with spinach and grapes, polenty of room for two recipe, positivity, recipe, salt, sauté, sautéed polenta recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, spinach, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 29, 2010
You will become possessed by the deviled eggs!
The devil sometimes gets a bad rap. Granted the guy is a total dick with his evil powers of manipulation and intentions to enslave mankind. But all those insipid qualities aside, the guy is a smooth operator. One thing I can tell you is the great evil one can cook like the devil. I saw it first hand in a Devil Gone Down to Georgia showdown. Apparently my cooking and banging has gotten his attention. He challenged me after one of my successful evenings cooking up a feast for a delectable date and the inevitable banging that followed. It was Iron Chef in hell. The judges gave us one hour to create a 4-course meal out of this gelatinous food staple of the Underworld called Gorvax. Gorvax is from the potato family, except it is 600 degrees F straight out of volcanic ash and contains barbs sharp enough to cut steel. Naturally the competition was a massive stress ball thanks to the crazy undead camera crew sticking their lenses in my face and cooking station. But I kept faith in myself and cooked my heart out not worrying about the horned one. That devil was so shocked I beat him with my Gorvax 4 four ways, including the Gorvax a la mode with caramelized sugar. I was surprised as you are that the devil did not welsh on our bet. He handed over this recipe for Deviled Eggs that is all the rage among homemakers in hell. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES, southern | Tagged: appetizer, bang, crab meat, crab stuffed deviled eggs, delicious, Deviled eggs recipe, dijon mustard, easy, egg whites, eggs, finger food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, intercourse, kitchen, mayonnaise, naked, paprika, recipe, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, southern, starter, tasty, yolk, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 14, 2010
Just a dab will diddle-ya!
Quesadillas are an endless parade of potential. You can’t help but get creative with that classic cheese and tortilla combo. What cheese with what extra goodness is about as varied as positions in the Kama Sutra. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, dairy, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, french, fusion, mexican, RECIPES | Tagged: 19th century, apple, bang, banging, brie, brie lox apple quesadillas, cheese, dairy, delicious, DIY, easy, English manor, fancy quesadilla recipe, flour tortilla, food, french, fusion, game changer, get laid, gourmet, gravity defying, guarantee, homemade, indian, intercourse, kama sutra, kitchen, lady Mortimer, libido, lox, madam, mexican, miss, naked, recipe, schmancy quesa-diddle-ya, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, smoked salmon, tasty, trousers, vegetable oil, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 10, 2010
We yes can, yes we will, yes we did bang.
In these dark times, when oil gushes and babies cry, we need something to rely on. Something that can cheers us up. For me, that comes in the form of food and sex. Cook To Bang can’t save the world, but it might be able to save your mood. Put your partisan politics aside and do as Obama said during his campaign, “Yes we can.” Yes we can make a delicious meal. Yes we can serve it to someone we want to sleep with. Yes we can bang all night and into the morning. Yes we can make post-coital breakfast. Read the rest of this entry »
3 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, healthy, italian, Mediterranean, RECIPES, summer | Tagged: aphrodisiac, babies cry, bang, banging, basil, calivirgin, cantaloupe, cantaloupe appetizers, delicious, DIY, easy, finger food, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, obama, oil gushes, olive oil, partisan politics, president of the united states, proscuitto, recipe, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, yes we can, yes we cantaloupe, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
April 5, 2010
Wrap it right, wrap it tight.
A fine ass like that deserves to be wrapped up in life’s fineries. Exalt that perfect behind with the TLC it deserves. At least that’s how I approach the perfect booty. Damn close to worship. I show it a good time, probably a better time than the body and mind attached. One surefire method to be hospitable to said ass is to wrap up the asparagus aphrodisiac amazingness with meaty magic. Roll roll, drip drip, sizzle sizzle, mmm mmm! They’re so good your collective lusts may win out over your hunger for the rest of dinner.
Total time: 7 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking buddy: Pinot Noir or Pinot Gris
Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 8 ASPARAGUS spears
2. 8 strips bacon (piggy, turkey, or veggie)
3. 2 dashes salt
4. 1 lemon wedge
Step 1
First wash the asparagus and cut 1 inch off the bottoms. Wrap the asparagus in bacon at an angle tightly. Salt as you wish.
Step 2
Warm up the griddle or pan on medium heat. Throw the bacon-wrapped asparagus in and cook, squeezing the lemon juice over as the bacon starts to sizzle. Cook until the down side of the asparagus browns (approx 3 min) before rolling them over. Salt the other side and cook the other side until it browns (approx 2 min).
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, appetizer, asparagus, ass, atkins diet, bacon, bacon wrapped asparagus recipe, bang, banging, booty, delicious, DIY, easy, fineries, finger food, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, hospitable, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, libido, lust, naked, recipe, salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sizzle, tasty, tlc, wrap, wrap that ass-paragus, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
March 8, 2010
This post brought to you unofficially by Planned Parenthood. "Got condoms? You god damn right!"
CTB is all about promoting responsibility in our depravity. Sure we cook and bang with reckless abandon, but never at the cost our health or our playthings’. I don’t mean this to sound like an after school special PSA with a crack addicted pregnant teenager fighting for the final spot on the cheerleading squad. But you should wrap that shit up before spelunking. That way you can bang from here to eternity. It’d be a damn shame to cut your CTB career so short. So how about getting some practice with this phallic dish? It’s win win: guys will become more mindful of the need to practice safe sex. Ladies will have a fine visual aid that can lead their minds to the dirty place. Now start wrapping before you start stuffing.
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: KINKY PINKY LADY
Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 9 large intact spinach leaves
3. 1 tbsp HONEY
4. 3 sausages (piggie or poultry)
5. 1 handful shredded mozzarella
6. 1/2 mango
Step 1
Preheat your oven to 350°F/175°C. Peel away the mango skin and cut long thin slices. Split the sausage, leaving one side intact. Stuff the sausage with mango, mozzarella, and honey. Cut the stems away from the spinach and wrap the sausages, pinning the leaves with toothpicks.
Step 2
Drizzle a small baking pan with oil, rubbing it all in. Lay out the wrapped sausages evenly and throw in the oven. Bake until the spinach because crispy and the mozzarella melts (approx 25 min). Remove the toothpicks before serving.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, dairy, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, poultry, RECIPES | Tagged: bake, bang, banging, calivirgin, cheerleading squad, condoms, crack-addicted, ctb, delicious, depravity, DIY, easy, finger food, food, foreplay, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, libido, mango, mozzarella, naked, olive oil, phallic, pregnant teenager, psa, recipe, reckless abandon, responsibility, safe sex, sausage, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, spinach, spinach wrapped stuffed sausage, stuffed sausage recipe, tasty, win-win, wrap that shit up, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 23, 2009
Raw and raunchy is was better than being blah and paunchy!
It has indeed been an oyster filled wonderland here at COOK TO BANG these last few weeks. I would apologize and offer some sort of assurance that something like this will never happen again. But I’m not some sucker embarrassed by the fact that I have a strong passion for sexy foods and sexier times. Oyster are among my favorite ingredients not only for that unique taste and texture, but because you rarely see aphrodisiacs effects demonstrated quite so obviously. You know that when you serve a plate of raw oysters, raunchy things are sure to follow. It’s almost like an unspoken contract two people enter into when the plate of raw goodness arrives at the table. You both accept that any frolicking that follows is not only appropriate, but expected. A word to the unwilling: refuse to eat or order them if you are going to be a prude buzzkill. For the rest of you lovelies, shuck and jive all the way to bed!
Total time: approximately 2 minutes
Projected cost: $9
Drinking Buddy: White wine or just about any LIBATION LUBRICATION
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. ½ dozen raw OYSTERS
2. 2 tbsp red wine vinegar
3. 1 dash black pepper
4. ¼ lemon
5. 1 pinch BASIL finely chopped
6. 1 pinch onion finely chopped
7. 1 pinch GINGER finely chopped
8. 1 micro pinch CHILI finely chopped
Step 1
Create the oyster dip by mixing the red wine vinegar, onion, ginger, basil, lemon juice, black pepper and chili. Serve up with the raw oysters and let the naughty games begin!
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, Cajun, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, healthy, RECIPES, seafood, southern | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, basil, black pepper, buzzkill, chili, delicious, DIY, easy, food, frolicking, game changer, get laid, ginger, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, libido, naked, New Orleans, onion, oyster sauce recipe, Raw & raunchy oysters recipe, recipe, red wine vinegar, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shellfish, southern, tart, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 13, 2009
The big fig gets the smokiest meat
For the record, I am totally gay for figs. They are one of history’s oldest fruits. Ever hear of the hanging gardens of Babylon? Figs hung proudly there and flavored many ancient meals. No doubt these edible APHRODISIACS were all over the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve just had to sample the far blander apple and ruin everything. Not that there’s anything wrong with apples, knowledge or original sin. Figs are just tastier, sexier and more likely to get you laid. Sexy time is nearly certain once you wrap the figs up with Italian prosciutto and throw in some creamy Brie cheese. Run, don’t walk to your nearest quality grocer and slice off a piece of the Garden of Eden.
Total time: approximately 5 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Red Wine or a SAN-GRAB-YA SANGRIA
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. Brie cheese
2. 4 fresh FIGS
3. 4 prosciutto slices
Step 1
Quarter the figs and add small slices of Brie to each section. Pull off long strips of proscuitto and wrap each fig/brie unit. Serve up on a plate or laid across your naked body.
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, italian, Mediterranean, RECIPES | Tagged: adam & eve, aphrodisiac, Babylon, bang, banging, brie cheese, cocktail food, dairy, delicious, DIY, easy, fast, fig, finger food, food, foreplay, game changer, garden of Eden, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, hanging gardens, homemade, intercourse, italian, Italy, kitchen, knowledge, libido, meat, Mediterranean, naked, original sin, prosciutto fig brie appetizers, prosciutto wrapped figs recipe, proscuitto, protein, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, starters, tapas, tasty, wrap, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 