August 30, 2010
That no good tart tastes too good
What a filthy, no good tart! Strutting itself around unpeeled and sweet to a fault. You’d think this tart would have more manners being of European stock. But clearly all it wants to do is lay about and put itself in any mouth it can find. No doubt, this apple has fallen very far from the tree. But I suppose you think I should just cut it some slack, right? Just let it go while it tarts around on any available plate, being passed around like a marijuana joint at some hippie love orgy? I say hell no! The only solution I have is to cool its jets. I’ll use the only thing I have in my arsenal. Ice cream! That’ll teach it to be so sweet, seductive and bad for me. Just to prove to you I am the bigger man, I’ll take one bite to show the rest of you how to be disciplined. See? One bite and I can say no…all right two bites. Three. Screw it! I’m taking the rest of the tart into my bedroom. But I’m not going to enjoy it! Seriously. I’m eating the rest for it’s own good. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | 
french, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegetarian | Tagged: a la mode, addictive, apple pie, bang, butter, caramelized apples, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, European, flavor, France, french, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, ice cream, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, marijuana joint, naked, orgy, pastry puff, recipe, seduce, sex, slut, sugar, sugary, sweet, Tart tartin recipe, tasty, tawdry tart tartin, tree, yellow apples, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
August 27, 2010
Mango popsicles = bango possibilities
Mango, ginger, frozen phallus: these are a few of my favorite things. Nothing is so suggestive as tasty-as-fuck frozen APHRODISIACS you can hand feed your date. Fear not, for you will be able to follow it up with a warmer addition to their mouth. But first you need to cool them down after a no doubt hot hot main meal. Your culinary and conversation skills keyed your company up for all sorts of nasty post-meal activities. But first take a moment to get them cool and relaxed before you bring the heat. Cool enough? Now bring it, bring it! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, RECIPES, summer, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, bango that ginger pornsicle, boil, cold, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, food, freeze, fresh, frozen, game changer, get laid, ginger, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, libido, light syrup, mango chunks, mango ginger popsicle recipe, naked, popsicle, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, spicy, sweet, sweet tempation, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, warmer, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 14, 2010
Just a dab will diddle-ya!
Quesadillas are an endless parade of potential. You can’t help but get creative with that classic cheese and tortilla combo. What cheese with what extra goodness is about as varied as positions in the Kama Sutra. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, dairy, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, french, fusion, mexican, RECIPES | Tagged: 19th century, apple, bang, banging, brie, brie lox apple quesadillas, cheese, dairy, delicious, DIY, easy, English manor, fancy quesadilla recipe, flour tortilla, food, french, fusion, game changer, get laid, gourmet, gravity defying, guarantee, homemade, indian, intercourse, kama sutra, kitchen, lady Mortimer, libido, lox, madam, mexican, miss, naked, recipe, schmancy quesa-diddle-ya, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, smoked salmon, tasty, trousers, vegetable oil, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 10, 2010
We yes can, yes we will, yes we did bang.
In these dark times, when oil gushes and babies cry, we need something to rely on. Something that can cheers us up. For me, that comes in the form of food and sex. Cook To Bang can’t save the world, but it might be able to save your mood. Put your partisan politics aside and do as Obama said during his campaign, “Yes we can.” Yes we can make a delicious meal. Yes we can serve it to someone we want to sleep with. Yes we can bang all night and into the morning. Yes we can make post-coital breakfast. Read the rest of this entry »
3 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, healthy, italian, Mediterranean, RECIPES, summer | Tagged: aphrodisiac, babies cry, bang, banging, basil, calivirgin, cantaloupe, cantaloupe appetizers, delicious, DIY, easy, finger food, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, obama, oil gushes, olive oil, partisan politics, president of the united states, proscuitto, recipe, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, yes we can, yes we cantaloupe, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 8, 2010
Sock my sockeye salmon!
Grilled salmon sandwiches WILL get the attention of just about anyone you care to engage in hanky panky. Give them the unexpected and they shall swoon. At least that is what I find every time I try something new or unusual. Even if you crash and burn, brownie points will be yours. But alas, I vouch for this recipe as “a friend of mine” in the mob tradition. This recipe is worthy of putting my life on the line. I have no quarrels with saying, “Yes, you may shoot me in the face if you don’t like it”. Sock-it-to-me! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, seafood, SINWICHES, summer | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, bang, banging, bbq, black pepper, brownie points, calivirgin, carbs, classy, crash and burn, delicious, dill, DIY, easy, food, friend of mine, game changer, get laid, gourmet, grilled salmon sandwich recipe, grilling, guarantee, hanky panky, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, libido, mayonnaise, mob, naked, olive oil, on the go, orange tomato, portable, recipe, romaine lettuce, salmon steaks, sandwich, sandwich rolls, sauce, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sock it to me, sock-it-to-me salmon sandwich, summer, swoon, tasty, vouch, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 4, 2010
Where's the beef? Check my pantaloons.
This final edition in the 2010 CTB Recipe Challenge comes from Karin in Ft. Collins, CO. Here’s to bringing on the foux da fafa French connection. Karin writes:
I satisfy my man with a hearty meal and with his pleasure fulfilled I can be pleased in return. This recipe may seem daunting but believe me it is well worth the foreplay. With the right prep the ‘oven’ does the majority of the work and gives the strength the to keeps everything up all night long and keep the au jus flowing. This recipe is surely is femme fatale. Ooh la la! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | beef, french, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES | Tagged: au jus, bacon, bang, banging, bay leaf, beef bangin’on recipe, beef bourguignon recipe, black pepper, blanch, calivirgin, carrots, Colorado, contest entry, delicious, DIY, easy, femme fatale, flour, food, foreplay, foux da fafa, France, french, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, Karin, kitchen, libido, ménage a trios, mushrooms, naked, olive oil, onions, protein, recipe, recipe challenge, red meat, red wine, rich, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, slow cook, stewing beef, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 27, 2010
The tilapia swam through tilabia
This recipe comes from Olly in San Diego, CA. Very inspiring use of potatoes here. Olly writes:
What can I say about this? We got carbs and protein welded together in a half crispy, half tender bump and grind in your mouth. It’s time to cast your rod and catch one of the many fish in the sea. Slather them up with your love potion and show them all the culinary affection you can muster. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, contests, fusion, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, ca, California, calivirgin, carbs, crushed red pepper, crust, delicious, DIY, easy, fish, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, Italian parsley, kitchen, libido, mayonnaise, naked, olive oil, olly, pan-fry, potato-crusted tilapia recipe, protein, recipe, russet potato, san diego, sea salt, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, slather, spicy, steam, tasty, tater tilapia tilabia, tilapia filets, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 20, 2010
Time to throw down your sexiest vittles!
Calling all Cook To Bangers! The time has come to prove your culinary seduction skills. We’re hosting a recipe challenge to see who can come up with the sexiest recipe.
The Rules:
Submit your sexiest recipe with a CTB-worthy title and short intro. We will select our five favorite recipes and recreate them in the Cook To Bang kitchen, documenting each step in the process. Every day next week we will post a new recipe. CTB readers will select their favorite recipe. The recipe that receives the most votes wins the grand prize. Submit your recipes to: cooktobang@gmail.com
The Prizes:
Each recipe selected and recreated in the Cook To Bang kitchen will receive a signed copy of the COOK TO BANG book.
The Grand Prize winner will receive the stunning pair of Napa Valley’s CALIVIRGIN award-winning Cold-Pressed Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Barrel-Aged Balsamic Vinegar.
5 Comments | contests, RECIPES, SEDUCTION | Tagged: balsamic vinegar, bang, banging, calivirgin, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, olive oil, recipe, recipe challenge, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 18, 2010
Is your meal Mexican or Mexican't?
Mexican food brings a smile to all but the most bitter, tasteless, and/or racist. It’s comfort food, like a big hug when you’re lazy, depressed, or plain happy. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, dairy, IT’S ON!-TREES, mexican, RECIPES, spicy, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, breaded, canola oil, chile relleno recipe, chile relleno resistance, cilantro, comfort food, condom-ments, delicious, DIY, easy, eggs, entree, food, four, fried, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green chiles, green onions, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, latin, libido, mexican, Mexican cheese, mexico, naked, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 10, 2010
Das unt good? Das is banging!
I love me some fraus. German women inspire both lust and terror in me. Perhaps it’s the fractional Jewish blood that runs through my veins, like some twisted Eva Braun fantasy. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, german, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, beets, captain’s hat, casual whippings, delicious, DIY, easy, eva braun, feta cheese, food, frau, game changer, garnish, german, german beet salad recipe, germany, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, horse crop, intercourse, jewish, kitchen, lederhosen, libido, naked, papers, parsley, recipe, red onion, red wine vinegar, role-playing, salad, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shiza, shiza film, Stockholm syndrome, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 