March 9, 2009
Now that I am armed with the Booty Bomb, nothing can stop me. Muahahaha!
Weapons of mass destruction are no doubt dangerous in the hands of terrorists. But what about weapons of mass satisfaction? They also pose a threat in the hands of the common man. I found this out the hard way when I adjusted a simple recipe for eggplant Parmesan. This already awesome dish took my game to DEFCON 5. Suddenly I could cause an orgasm in every woman in a 5 mile-radius as soon as I popped this dish into the oven. The power did in fact go to my head. I became a super-villain indiscriminately bringing beautiful women to their knees in abject pleasure. Lucky for mankind, a douchey superhero known as the Cock-Blocker managed to wipe my memory clean of the ingredients of this recipe. Too bad for that good two-shoes so-called hero, the Freedom of Information Act allows the rest of you access to this powerful dish. Cook with caution!
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: Red wine
Ingredients:
1. Salt to taste
2. ½ tablespoon of oregano
3. 3 tablespoons of olive oil
4. 1 28-ounce can of tomatoes
5. 1 large handful of shredded/chopped mozzarella
6. 2 eggs
7. 1 large eggplant cut into 1-inch thick rounds
8. 1 onion chopped coarsely
9. 1 handful of chopped parsley
10. 3 garlic cloves chopped coarsely
11. ½ cup of flour
12. ¼ cup of shredded Parmesan
13. ½ cup of breadcrumbs
Step 1
Create the sauce by heating up 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a pan on medium-high heat. Sauté the garlic until they whiten (approx 30 seconds). Sauté the onions until they become translucent (approx 2 minutes). Add salt to taste and parsley and cook in the flavor (approx 1 minute). Add the tomatoes and crush them yourself. Turn the heat down low and allow the sauce to simmer as you move on to Step 2.
Step 2
Create the eggplant batter. First mix up the breading: flour, breadcrumbs, Parmesan and oregano in one bowl. Beat the eggs in a second bowl. Heat up 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a pan on medium-high heat. Dip each eggplant round in the eggs, and then the breading and fry them 4 or five at a time. Flip once after the bottoms brown (approx 2 minutes) and repeat. Set aside on a paper towel to soak up excess oil. Repeat as needed.
Step 3
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lay down a base of sauce in a small baking/casserole dish. Put down a layer of fried eggplants. Place another layer of sauce and eggplants until you have exhausted your supply, laying the last of the sauce on top. Scatter the mozzarella buckshot style over the top and throw in the oven. Bake until the cheese crusts and browns (approx 20 minutes). You are in for a treat! Serve it up solo or with some PASTA.
2 Comments | 
italian, IT’S ON!-TREES, Mediterranean, RECIPES | Tagged: baked, baked eggplant parmesan, bang, breadcrumbs, delicious, DIY, easy, eggplant, Eggplant parmesan recipe, eggs, flour, fried eggplant, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, hearty, homemade, intercourse, italian, kitchen, leftovers, Mediterranean, mozzarella, naked, olive oil, onion, oregano, parmesan, parsley, recipe, romantic, salt, sauce, sauté, seduce, sex, tasty, tomato, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
January 31, 2009
Red Pepper 42, Black Bean 42, Hut Hut Hike!
I’m gasping for air as I write this post. Good god is this veggie chili sexy, healthy and satisfying. Trust me when I say this is going to be a challenge to not eat it all before I bring it to the Super Bowl party this weekend. It’s like waiting for marriage to engage in sexual relations. It’s a nice idea in theory. But seriously, why? Sure it might feel great to finally experience pure ecstasy with the person you will spend the rest of your life. But then again it might be a huge let down when you finally claim what’s yours. Luckily you don’t have to worry about that with this chili dish. It actually tastes better the next day once the flavors have wrapped their legs around the veggies and grinded until they make culinary cunnilingus. If you do manage to keep this ridiculously healthy chili around for the Super Bowl or other party, you will certainly be busy taking down phone numbers from eager foodies with an appetite for you. Take a number.
Total time: approximately 45 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Drinking Buddy: A beer, margarita or other football-watching beverage
Ingredients (serves a party or 2 hungry people for days):
1. ½ cup of vegetable oil
2. 1 tablespoon of dried oregano
3. 1 8-ounce can of corn
4. Sour cream for garnish
5. 1 teaspoon of salt
6. Shredded cheddar cheese for garnish
7. 2 tablespoons of ground cumin
8. 1 28-ounce can of whole tomatoes
9. 1 can of garbanzo beans
10. 1 can of black beans
11. 2 stalks of celery chopped coarsely
12. 1 green pepper chopped coarsely
13. 1 red pepper chopped coarsely
14. 4 cloves of garlic chopped finely
15. 2 dried New Mexico chilies
16. 1 large carrot peeled and chopped coarsely
17. 1 yellow pepper coarsely
18. 1 onion chopped coarsely.
19. 2 handfuls of mushrooms chopped coarsely
Step 1
Heat up the vegetable oil in a stockpot on medium-high. Sautee the garlic solo until they brown (approx 30 seconds). Cook the onions until they become translucent (approx 2 minutes). Throw in all the carrots, celery, yellow, red and green peppers and cook until they soften, stirring occasionally. (approx 15 minutes)
Step 2
It’s time to spice things up. Cup up the New Mexico chilies, then toss them into the pot with the mushrooms let it simmer (approx 2 minutes). Now smack it all up with ground cumin, oregano and salt and cook in the flavor (approx 10 minutes).
Step 3
Open up the can of tomatoes and drain the juice into a bowl before chopping the tomatoes up coarsely. Add the tomatoes and juice onto the pot and cook until the tomatoes dissolve and become part of the sauce (approx 10 minutes).
Step 4
Drain the liquid from the cans of corn, garbanzo beans and black beans, then dump them all into the pot and cook them with all the other goodies until they become united in their chili power (approx 10 minutes). Serve up with a sexy selection of toppings like shredded cheddar, sour cream and diced red onions.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, HOT LIQUID LOVE, mexican, RECIPES, spicy, vegan, vegetarian, winter | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, bell pepper, black beans, carrot, celery, cheddar, cheese, chili, corn, cumin, delicious, easy, game changer, garbanzo beans, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green pepper, guarantee, healthy, intercourse, kitchen, mexican, mushroom, naked, new Mexico chilies, onion, oregano, party, recipe, red pepper, romance, salt, Santa fe, SEDUCTION, sex, sour cream, south beach diet, spicy, Super bowl, tailgate, tasty, tomato, vegetable oil, vegetarian, Vegetarian chili recipe, veggie chili recipe, winter, yellow pepper, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 9, 2009
- This Spanish Rice is certifiably spankingly spectacular!
Barcelona in the later summer is a guaranteed whirlwind for the weary traveler with a backpack. Flamenco guitars serenade beauties in the balconies above and capture the heart of even the biggest hater. I remember one thing with absolute clarity: the quality of the food and women are top notch. Black designer mini dresses flapping behind Vespas. Plates piled high with raw shellfish and overflowing bowls of the best rice I had ever tasted. One night after a sangria or three and a plate full of OYSTERS, I found myself being led to a discotequa by a Nigerian Dr. Dre wannabe I befriended at a coffee shop. My evening soundtrack became hip hop beats to Catalan** lyrics. I don’t speak a word. My 3rd grade level Spanish was all I had to flirt with a Barcelona pure-bred hottie. She awarded me an A for effort and danced with me out in a plaza off Las Ramblas. We were good to go back to my place until she found out I was at a hostel sharing a room with three strangers. She vanished into the nearest cab leaving me bummed out with blue balls. So I cheered myself up with a perfect consolation prize: a plate of Spanish rice. I suppose that it was almost as good as spanking a Spaniard.
**In Barcelona, they speak Catalan, a derivation of Spanish that is a bitch to learn.
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Depends what you serve with it. Tequila, beer or sangria if you are feeling especially Spanish
Ingredients:
1. 1 cup of white rice
2. 2 cups of chicken broth
3. 1 dash of salt
4. ¼ cup of olive oil
5. 1 handful of chopped cilantro
6. 2 garlic cloves chopped finely
7. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
8. 1 onion chopped coarsely
9. 1 red bell pepper chopped coarsely
10. 1 small carrot chopped or grated coarsely
Step 1
Toast the rice first by heating up the oil in a pan on medium heat and cook until they brown, stirring occasionally (approx 5 minutes). Throw in the garlic and cook another minute. Throw in the rest of the veggies: cilantro, tomato, onion, bell pepper and carrot and cook them down with the toasty rice (approx 5 minutes).
Step 2
Pour in the chicken stock and salt it up a bit. Crank the heat up until the stalk begins to boil, then turn the heat down super low and simmer until the rice absorbs the stock (approx 20 minutes). You officially have some spectacular spanking Spanish rice to serve with something equally outstanding like ORANGASMIC CATFISH, FISHY PINK TACOS or MOLE. Go get those chicas and hombres!
Leave a Comment » | CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, mexican, RECIPES, spanish | Tagged: bang, Barcelona, carbohydrate, carboluscious, carrot, chicken stock, cilantro, dance, delicious, easy, fancy, flamenco, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, intercourse, kitchen, mexican, naked, olive oil, onion, recipe, red bell pepper, rice, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, side dish, simmer, spain, spaniard, spanish, Spanish Rice recipe, spanking, starch, toast, tomato, white rice | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 10, 2008
- Slam that bed frame like you’ll Grand Slam your post-coital breakfast
Good god was last night off the chain. And this morning hasn’t exactly been a solemn day of Sunday school or the Sabbath either. Atonement is not an option, but chowing down is. Naturally after a long and fruitful roll in the hay you have both developed quite the appetite. You require the sustenance of protein and carbohydrates to keep you popping and locking into the afternoon. All hail eggs and their natural brain and libido boost! Scramble some of these bad boys up with some choice aphrodisi-tastic ingredients and you have yourself a full recharge. You may having a hard time choosing between this sandwich and your date’s naked body, but know in your heart of hearts that a patient chef can have both. Now hurry up and finish this dish! Your bed frame has an appointment with the wall and you have neighbors to disturb.
Total time: approximately 5 minutes
Projected cost for ingredients: $6
Drinking Buddy: Orange juice or mimosas if you’re feeling saucy
Ingredients (per sandwich):
1. 1 teaspoon of salt (if desired)
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. ½ tablespoon of mayonnaise
4. 1 small baguette
5. ½ an avocado
6. 1 slice of cheddar cheese
7. 3 pieces of bacon (turkey or veggie bacon cool)
8. 2 eggs
9. 2 green onions chopped coarsely
10. ½ handful of mushrooms
11. 1 handful of lettuce
12. ½ a tomato sliced
Step 1
Fry the bacon and set aside. Throw in the olive oil and grill up the mushrooms.
Step 2
Mix the eggs and green onions in a bowl, adding salt if desired. Pour the mixture over the mushroom and scramble as if your lover’s husband or wife just walked into the house. Crown the eggs with cheddar cheese and allow it to melt like the hearts of the opposite sex.
Step 3
Spread the mayonnaise on the top side of the split baguette. Place the bacon, lettuce, tomato and avocado into the bread’s open mouth. Finally stuff the eggs in, cut the sandwich in half and serve it to your date in bed before round 3. Hot sauce can throw a tasty curveball your way.
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, bacon, baguette, bang, breakfast, breakfast in bed, breakfast sandwich, cheddar, cheese, delicious, easy, eggs, game changer, get laid, gourmet, gourmet egg sandwich, green onions, guarantee, intercourse, kinky, kitchen, lettuce, mushrooms, naked, post-coital, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, sinful, tomato | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 8, 2008
- You garlic going on, you sexy thing, you!
No pasta dish is truly complete without garlic bread. It’s like getting down without your lover going down on you. Sure the job gets done, but there’s always a part of you longing for a little oral objectification. Half-assing your meal is like half-assing foreplay, which could lead to dire consequences like a cold shower and possible rumors of small-endowment. Plus there’s no need to be unsatisfied by your meal when garlic bread is so simple and inexpensive to create. A few slices, spreads and baking later and you are in business. Use the bread to mop up that tasty sexy sauce you whipped up. Lick the plate clean in preparation for the thorough licking you will enjoy later.
Total time: approximately 40 minutes
Projected cost for ingredients: $3
Ingredients:
1. 1 small baguette
2. ¼ stick of butter
3. 3 cloves of garlic minced
4. ½ a tomato sliced thinly
5. Parmesan cheese
Step 1
Melt the butter in a saucepan and cook in the garlic until it goes white (approx. 1 minute). Pour the garlic butter into a container and put in the fridge to cool and harden slightly (approx 15-20 minutes).
Step 2
Cut slices into the baguette leaving some of the bottom crust attached. Spread a small amount of garlic butter between each slice. Place a slice of tomato between the bread slits. Grate parmesan a top the baguette.
Step 3
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Wrap the bread up in tinfoil and throw in the oven for 15-20 minutes. The top of the bread will be brown, the tomatoes soft and the cheese melty on top. Serve with pasta of your choice and accept you are probably getting laid tonight.
1 Comment | carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, italian, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: baguette, bake, bang, bread, carbohydrate, cheese, classy, delicious, easy, game changer, garlic, Garlic bread, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, hearty, intercourse, italian, kinky, kitchen, naked, parmesan, pasta, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinful, tomato | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 8, 2008
- This hearty Italian classic will make anyone sing falsetto. Ave Maria, baby!
“Ave Maria!” you sing from the plaza of the Italian village. Your intended conquest comes out onto the balcony to gaze down at the lust in your eyes. You continue with your falsetto, beckoning your lovely to join you for a magnificent meal that will knock their socks and knickers off. They will smell the slow cooked perfection of this hearty, meaty dish from the “old country” and naturally follow you like a lemming on its way to an orgy. This is the power of great Italian food. The Italians pay such keen attention to the details whether it’s their fine tailored clothes or renowned culinary creations. Why should you treat the food any differently? You may or may not be Italian, but that doesn’t mean you should boil spaghetti and cover it with sauce from a jar. Cooking without passion is like banging without an orgasm. There is really no point. Don’t waste your date’s time or your charm on forgettable food. This dish is guaranteed to spice up your night. COOK TO BANG is not responsible should your lover scream aloud, “Mama Mia!”
Total time: approximately 1-3 hours depending on level of perfection desired
Projected cost for ingredients: $15 (still cheaper than a restaurant, many ingredients will last many more meals, and there will be leftovers)
Ingredients:
1. ½ cup of red wine
2. 1 tablespoon of salt
3. 1 28oz. can of crushed tomatoes
4. 1 tablespoon of crushed red pepper flakes
5. 2 tablespoons of olive oil
6. ½ cup of heavy cream (optional)
7. 1 pound of ground beef or turkey
8. 2 pork or chicken sausage links chopped into bite-sized pieces
9. Parmesan cheese
10. 2 handfuls of thinly sliced mushrooms
11. 2 carrots peels and shredded
12. 5 celery stalks chopped
13. 1 red onion minced
14. 1 pound pack of spaghetti
15. 5 garlic cloves minced
Step 1
Turn the stove on to medium heat. Heat the olive oil in a large stockpot and throw in the garlic and onions and cook until they are translucent. Throw in the mushrooms, carrots and celery and cook the veggies down, adding the crushed red pepper flakes for spice (adjust to your preference: ½ tablespoon = snore, 2 tablespoons = hot damn!).
Step 2
Add the ground meat and sausage to the stockpot, mix it up with the veggies and cook until the meat turns grey. Pour in the red wine and cook until the liquid dissolves.
Step 3
Boil water in a separate pot and cook the spaghetti al dente.
Step 4
Pour the crushed tomatoes into the stockpot with the veggies and meat and mix together thoroughly. Bring it all to a boil, then turn the heat down to its lowest setting and cook for 1-2 hours, occasionally stirring or adding water when sauce becomes too thick. If desired, stir in the heavy cream a few minutes before you are ready to eat and allow the sauce to thicken. Now serve the sauce over spaghetti with garlic bread and a bottle or red wine. Sing falsetto as you present the food if possible.
Leave a Comment » | asian, carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, italian, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES | Tagged: bang, carrot, celery, classic, classy, delicious, dinner, easy, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, ground beef, guarantee, hearty, intercourse, italian, kinky, kitchen, meat sauce, meaty, naked, onion, pasta, red pepper flakes, romance, sausage, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinful, spaghetti bolognese, spicy, tomato, turkey | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 24, 2008
The caprese salad has more disguises than a Scooby Doo villain
Caprese salad is the simplest Italian salad, but punches you in the nose with the complex flavors it yields. The buttery mozzarella, crisp tomato, and basil’s hint of the Italian countryside can put you a pimping pedestal. But sometimes delicious and light aren’t going to cut it when you are hungry enough to eat a Buick. Not to worry. This versatile salad leads a double life as a sandwich. So it’s easy to take this dish on afternoon picnics in areas secluded enough for you to make sweet love in the great outdoors. Should your date lack taste buds entirely and not like this sensational sandwich, the more for you to savor. “Sorry, sucka! But I still think your cute…wanna get busy in this grassy meadow?”
Ingredients (for 2 sandwiches):
1. 2 fresh baked sandwich rolls
2. Olive oil for drizzling
3. Balsamic vinegar for drizzling
4. ½ an avocado sliced
5. 1 tomato sliced
6. 8 ounces of fresh buffalo mozzarella sliced
7. 2 handfuls of fresh whole basil leaves
Step 1
Slice open the bread rolls and lay out the basil leaves, tomato slices, buffalo mozzarella, and avocado. Drizzle olive oil and balsamic vinegar to your liking. You want the sandwich to be moist, but not soggy. Cut the sandwich in half and serve up on a plate with a green salad or wrap up to enjoy in the park with your head in your dream girl/guy’s lap.
Leave a Comment » | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: avocado, balsamic vinegar, bang, basil, caprese salad, Caprese sandwich, cheese, classy, delicious, easy, game changer, get laid, gourmet, healthy, intercourse, italian, kinky, kitchen, lunch, mozzarella, naked, olive oil, refreshing, romance, sandwich, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinful, SINWICHES, tomato | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 12, 2008
Melts in your mouth, not in your pants
“Thar she blows!” the pirate screamed out the window of the brothel. The wharf town residents were unaware the mangy marauder was not talking about impregnating a strumpet’s mouth. Rather he was commenting on the fine tuna melt the brothel’s madam prepared from him from the tuna he caught off the bow of his dingy. A fresh tuna melt can indeed take the ordinary sandwich and make it something worthy of jumping ship. This recipe is quick, delicious, but far from fat free. It is comfort food on a higher level and she should be treated accordingly. A gourmet tuna melt works great when you want your game to seem like a coincidence. The appropriate attitude is, “Hey, I throw masterpieces like this together with my eyes closed. It wouldn’t be fair if I actually tried to impress you. Then you’d never leave!” Should this recipe not cause your date melt into the sheets, COOK TO BANG will refund your money back. Oh wait, this site is free. Nevermind. Do you take Monopoly money?
Ingredients (for 2):
1. 2 albacore tuna steaks
2. ½ a lemon
3. 2 tablespoons of mayonnaise
4. 2 slices of bread
5. 4-10 slices of tomatoes
6. 2 slices of cheddar cheese
7. ½ a sliced avocado
Step 1
Sear the tuna steaks and squeeze the lemon over them. Add pepper for extra flavor. Depending on fresh quality of tuna, you can sear it rare or pink. On a bare bones budget you can substitute a can of tuna, which won’t be half as good or impressive.
Step 2
Coarsely chop the seared tuna steaks and throw into a bowl. Add the mayonnaise and mix together thoroughly. For an additional kick, throw in some fresh dill or tarragon.
Step 3
Spread the tuna mixture evenly over the bread. Place the tomatoes evenly out and crown it with slices of cheddar cheese.
Step 4
Broil the open-faced sandwiches until the cheddar cheese is good and melty. Add slices of avocado over the melted cheese and cut each sandwich in half. Serve on a plate with a salad, French fries or a condom.
Leave a Comment » | RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: avocado, bang, bread, broil, cheddar cheese, delicious, easy, gourmet, kitchen, mayonnaise, naked, romance, sandwich, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sinwich, tomato, tuna, tuna melt | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 11, 2008
Not so teeny weeny clam linguini
Pasta schmasta. The Italians were on to something akin to the inventing the wheel when they gave the world pasta. Pasta dishes can walk a fine line between outstanding and a sorry excuse for food. It all depends on the scope of your filthy imagination. Ask yourself whether closing the deal is worth the extra $3 for better ingredients. Those who answered “no” should take note that it is far cheaper than hiring a hooker, and with less risk of catching herpes or a shiv in the back. So put the Chef Boyardee back on the shelf and cook like an adult; you might enjoy some post-dinner adult activities (like Parcheesi…in the buff). Take this carb cuisine from flab to fab. Canned clams are cheap and readily available, but your date doesn’t need to know that. Just say you went deep sea diving in shark-infested waters to retrieve the evening meal. You could even impress them with your badass shark bite scar, OR better yet, knock their socks (and underwear) off using this deceivingly simple recipe. This recipe debut was interrupted a few times by a dinner date that couldn’t keep her hands to herself. My lust blinded me to the fact I mistakenly poured the Apple Cider Vinegar instead of olive oil. The result was a tangy compliment to the briny brilliance of the sea. This recipe has since earned itself a permanent place in the COOK TO BANG hall of fame. You’re welcome.
Ingredients (for 2):
1. 8 oz. of dried linguini
2. 1 tablespoon of olive oil
3. 3 cloves of garlic diced
4. 2 shallots diced
5. 2 tomatoes chopped coarsely
6. ½ a tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar
7. 1 can of minced clams with clam juice
Step 1
Fill a pot full of water and boil on high heat. Allow the water to boil and throw in the dried pasta and boil until al dente (follow box/bag instructions). Pour through a colander and set aside.
Step 2
On medium heat, add the olive oil and sauté the garlic and shallots until they soften and brown. Toss in the tomatoes and the Apple Cider Vinegar and cook down.
Step 3
Pour in the entire contents of the canned clams, especially the milky white clam sauce. Cook the sauce down until the concoction turns into a pinkish color.
Step 4
Toss the al dente linguini with the clam sauce until they are well mixed and heated through. Serve onto plates with a crisp chardonnay, beer or sake. Tastes like triumph.
2 Comments | CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, RECIPES | Tagged: apple cider vinegar, carboluscious, clam linguine, clams, delicious, easy, garlic, kitchen, linguine, lust, naked, noodles, pasta, quick, recipe, romance, seafood, SEDUCTION, sex, shallots, simple, tomato | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 10, 2008
Scrumptious spankings because Baby’s Got BAPT!
When I hear the word BLT, I see a greasy diner filled with truckers and vagabonds shoveling down gruel at 4am. But you can’t underestimate the power of bacon to transform something lame into something with game. Bacon’s crispness can resuscitate flavorless iceberg lettuce and beefsteak tomatoes. It comes in so many variations that everyone from anemic vegans to carnivores gnawing on turkey legs can enjoy. So why waste bacon on lame ingredients when you can turn up the bass with something outstanding? This recipe came out of serendipitous dumb luck. I met a girl at a party with a feather boa and convinced her to come back to my place with the promise of a late night snack. But I forgot to mention my fridge was more barren than Jennifer Aniston. There were four near stale slices of bread, turkey bacon (she was one of those “vegetarians” who eats fish and poultry), ½ and avocado that needed to be eaten stat, and a healthy heirloom tomato. But there was no lettuce unless you count the fern in the kitchen. Luckily I had a neglected pear sit all by itself in the fruit bowl just begging to be eaten out. My hot hungry companion went from skeptical to agreeable in the time it took to toast the stale bread. The feather boa remained on the whole night, but her clothes were not so luckily.
Ingredients (per sinwich):
1. 3 crisp bacon strips
2. ¼ avocado sliced in strips
3. 4 thin round slices of tomato
4. 4 thin slices of a pear
5. 2 slices of bread (not pictured)
Step 1
Fry the bacon in a pan until crisp. Pat the grease dry with a paper towel and set aside.
Step 2
Toast the bread of your choice and add favorite condom-ments; CTB recommends sourdough or cracked wheat with wasabi mayonnaise spread on one side and goat cheese on the other.
Step 3
Assemble the sinwich however you like, spreading the ingredient evenly across the bread and close up shop. Cut the sinwich in half (or smaller) before serving because it’s both less messy and classier than San Diego.
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Leave a Comment » | RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: avocado, bacon, blt, bread, pear, sandwich, SINWICHES, tomato | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Ingredients:
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 