December 9, 2013
We're talking bloody in a good way.
“This salad is bloody fantastic!” These are the words of my limey friend who sampled this salad I threw together. And no, I did not cook to bang my mate. He’s been striking out with the birds as of late so I gave him a quick cooking tutorial. I believe the geezer has his sea legs now since he’s used my recipes to bed a few strumpets already. The problem is he keeps making the same few recipes I’ve taught him. Sounds like we’re just about ready for another lesson. Perhaps he can repay me by teaching me the finer points of football (as in soccer for the uninitiated). With World Cup coming up, I need good talking points to pick up Brazilians. In the mean time, enjoy this uber-healthy salad with me new favorite fruit, the blood orange, which is bloody orangtastic. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | 
aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: avocado, blood orange salad recipe, blood oranges, Bloody fantastic, bloody orangtastic salad, Brazilians, british, citrus, dijon mustard, English, food, football, game changer, geezer, get laid, green onion, guarantee, healthy, intercourse, libido, limey, mate, olive oil, recipe, red wine vinegar, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, soccer, spinach, strumpet, tasty, UK, vegan, vegetarian, vitamin c, world cup, yummy | 
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Posted by cooktobang
November 4, 2013
Try this stuff and then you can't get enough truff!
People say scuffle like it’s a bad thing. Disorder and confusion in tight quarters is usually how banging is initiated. It goes back to the days of playing 30 seconds in the closet. Those first experiences that created your perfectly pervy personality are examples of the good kind of scuffle. No doubt, most of you have ended up with your tongue in someone’s mouth as a result of tight quarters like the doorway at some crowded party or the backseat of your friends Volkswagen. Random? Yes. Unexpected? Definitely. Awesome? You betcha! So bring on the scuffles with truffles. Truffle oil is like a love potion crafted by the love gods, yet available for a price at yuppie food banks such as Whole Foods. Worth every goddamn penny. The bottle shall create many future scuffles, that lead to shuffles into the nearest tight quarters.
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1 Comment | carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, french, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: 30 seconds in the closet, bang, banging, bedroom scuffle truffle fries, Belgium, Belgium style fries, carbs, confusion, deep-fried, delicious, disorder, DIY, easy, euro, food, French fries, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, love gods, naked, parmesan, pervy, potatoes, recipe, russet potatoes, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, tight quarters, truffle parmesan French fries recipe, vegetable oil, vegetarians, Volkswagen, white truffle oil, you betcha, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 6, 2012
Yes you will!
Cook To Bang is taking a day off from sexy talk to brandish you with self-indulgent politics aside. Forgive the latte liberal over here and vote. The US was founded on this inalienable right. The last four years were hard. It might seem that unfortunate circumstances are cock-blocking your future. Remember that out of tragedy comes opportunity. Innovation is the bastard child of inconvenience. So when bread goes stale, make CROUTONS. Burn the chicken and you got one awesome meal for the dog. If the condom breaks…never mind. Always trust your instincts, follow your heart and life will rewards you. And never ever skip out on the finer things in life, like COOKING AND BANGING. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, italian, RECIPES, SEDUCTION | Tagged: aphrodisiac, appetizer, avocado, bang, basil, cantaloupe, delicious, easy, finger food, foreplay, fruit, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, intercourse, italian, kitchen, melon, naked, olive oil, prosciutto, recipe, romance, romantic, sea salt, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, wrapped cantaloupe recipe, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 5, 2012
Chase down that wet dream of yours!
I’ll be totally unoriginal and admit that I am a white man that loves the Asian ladies. The way they smell, their svelte bodies, their graceful ageing, their wiry pu…I’ll stop there. But unlike the majority of clichéd white boys chasing something exotic they’ve never tried, I actually started off my banging career with an Asian girl. My first girlfriend, and subsequently the girl who took my V card, was Thai. She told me her mother was Thai royalty, which I want to believe, but don’t quit buy since she drove a Hyundai. But it’s funnier saying I lost my virginity to a Thai princess. Regardless of royal lineage and dowry, this girl taught me well. Every lover who followed has benefited from her tutelage. The sad part is I started off with such a bang that many of the white girls that followed were boring by comparison. I am an equal opportunity banger, and get down with all colors of the rainbow. But part of me is still chasing those first tender, somewhat innocent moments with some choice yellowtail. This choice sashimi plate loved up by the ponzu sauce and fired up from the jalapeño slices should seal just about any Cook To Bang deal. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, Japanese, RECIPES, seafood, spicy | Tagged: appetizer, asian fetish, asian girl, equal opportunity banger, finger food, food, game changer, guarantee, healthy, Hyundai, intercourse, jalapeño, Japanese, libido, light, ponzu sauce, princess, recipe, sea salt, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, spicy, starter, sushi-grade, thai, v card, virginity, yellowtail | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 27, 2012
Somewhere over the rainbow, something's turning me on. Must be my Wizard of Oz fantasy.
Nothing gives me a chubby like an aesthetically pleasing plate of food. Not only does it satisfy the hunger pangs, but the emotionally pangs as well. Mark my words, nothing inspires sexy time dessert quite like a beautifully presented meal. How it tastes is almost secondary to how it looks on the plate. Shallow? Perhaps. But don’t question the rules of culinary seduction unless you want that chard on to go to waste. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, healthy, hippie, italian, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aesthetically pleasing, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, calivirgin, carboluscious, carbs, cook, crushed red chili flakes, delicious, DIY, easy, food, fusion, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, hard on, healthy pasta dish, hippie, homemade, intercourse, italian, kitchen, leafy, lemon, libido, linguine, naked, olive oil, pasta, rainbow chard on linguine, rainbow chard pasta recipe, rainbw chard, recipe, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shallow, tangy, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, vitamin c, yummy, zest | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 16, 2011
Leave 'em beggin' for bacon
In the immortal words of lady hip hop divas TLC, “I ain’t too proud to beg!” Good to know. Because that is the attitude you should inspire in your dates. The most effective way to do that is to blow their goddamn minds with mind-blowing nibbles. Between good eats and being a great lay, you will brainwash them. They will be begging you for another taste. It’s like a harem full of opium addicts. Only your fix will give them the satisfaction they require. Wrap it up tight in meaty goodness. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, appetizer, bacon, bacon-wrapped shrimp recipe, bang, banging, beggin’ wrapped shrimp, begging, brainwash, delicious, DIY, easy, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, harem, homemade, honey, I ain’t too proud to beg, intercourse, jumbo shrimp, kitchen, libido, naked, nibble, opium addicts, recipe, sea salt, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shellfish, tapas, tasty, tlc, turkey, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 10, 2010
We yes can, yes we will, yes we did bang.
In these dark times, when oil gushes and babies cry, we need something to rely on. Something that can cheers us up. For me, that comes in the form of food and sex. Cook To Bang can’t save the world, but it might be able to save your mood. Put your partisan politics aside and do as Obama said during his campaign, “Yes we can.” Yes we can make a delicious meal. Yes we can serve it to someone we want to sleep with. Yes we can bang all night and into the morning. Yes we can make post-coital breakfast. Read the rest of this entry »
3 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, healthy, italian, Mediterranean, RECIPES, summer | Tagged: aphrodisiac, babies cry, bang, banging, basil, calivirgin, cantaloupe, cantaloupe appetizers, delicious, DIY, easy, finger food, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, obama, oil gushes, olive oil, partisan politics, president of the united states, proscuitto, recipe, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, yes we can, yes we cantaloupe, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 8, 2010
Sock my sockeye salmon!
Grilled salmon sandwiches WILL get the attention of just about anyone you care to engage in hanky panky. Give them the unexpected and they shall swoon. At least that is what I find every time I try something new or unusual. Even if you crash and burn, brownie points will be yours. But alas, I vouch for this recipe as “a friend of mine” in the mob tradition. This recipe is worthy of putting my life on the line. I have no quarrels with saying, “Yes, you may shoot me in the face if you don’t like it”. Sock-it-to-me! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, seafood, SINWICHES, summer | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, bang, banging, bbq, black pepper, brownie points, calivirgin, carbs, classy, crash and burn, delicious, dill, DIY, easy, food, friend of mine, game changer, get laid, gourmet, grilled salmon sandwich recipe, grilling, guarantee, hanky panky, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, libido, mayonnaise, mob, naked, olive oil, on the go, orange tomato, portable, recipe, romaine lettuce, salmon steaks, sandwich, sandwich rolls, sauce, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sock it to me, sock-it-to-me salmon sandwich, summer, swoon, tasty, vouch, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 4, 2010
Where's the beef? Check my pantaloons.
This final edition in the 2010 CTB Recipe Challenge comes from Karin in Ft. Collins, CO. Here’s to bringing on the foux da fafa French connection. Karin writes:
I satisfy my man with a hearty meal and with his pleasure fulfilled I can be pleased in return. This recipe may seem daunting but believe me it is well worth the foreplay. With the right prep the ‘oven’ does the majority of the work and gives the strength the to keeps everything up all night long and keep the au jus flowing. This recipe is surely is femme fatale. Ooh la la! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | beef, french, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES | Tagged: au jus, bacon, bang, banging, bay leaf, beef bangin’on recipe, beef bourguignon recipe, black pepper, blanch, calivirgin, carrots, Colorado, contest entry, delicious, DIY, easy, femme fatale, flour, food, foreplay, foux da fafa, France, french, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, Karin, kitchen, libido, ménage a trios, mushrooms, naked, olive oil, onions, protein, recipe, recipe challenge, red meat, red wine, rich, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, slow cook, stewing beef, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 27, 2010
The tilapia swam through tilabia
This recipe comes from Olly in San Diego, CA. Very inspiring use of potatoes here. Olly writes:
What can I say about this? We got carbs and protein welded together in a half crispy, half tender bump and grind in your mouth. It’s time to cast your rod and catch one of the many fish in the sea. Slather them up with your love potion and show them all the culinary affection you can muster. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, contests, fusion, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, ca, California, calivirgin, carbs, crushed red pepper, crust, delicious, DIY, easy, fish, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, Italian parsley, kitchen, libido, mayonnaise, naked, olive oil, olly, pan-fry, potato-crusted tilapia recipe, protein, recipe, russet potato, san diego, sea salt, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, slather, spicy, steam, tasty, tater tilapia tilabia, tilapia filets, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 