May 29, 2013
If some asks if you have balls, assure them you got plenty flavored with ponzu sauce
Looking for a side dish that will steal the show and make your guests go “Ooh ooh!”? Look no further than this Japanese/Israeli fusion. Truth be told, I ate it a fancy restaurant that served seared ahi strips over it. The tuna was aight, but the couscous smacked me in the face and left me smiling 7+ years after the fact. Sadly, this restaurant shut down shortly thereafter. So I was left with little choice but attempt to recreate it in my own kitchen. I’m certainly glad that I did because this little side has been wowing girls ever since. Repeat CTB dates will often demand I whip up a batch, even if I’m serving PASTA. Apparently it left more of an impression that my naked body did after the meal. Fair enough. So long as one of my dishes pulls in repeat visitors willing to gratify my ego and libido alike, I will always have enough ingredients on hand should they be called for. And with that, I must whip up another batch because the ponzu couscous-hungry zombies have surrounded my house once more. Read the rest of this entry »
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asian, carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, fusion, healthy, Japanese, Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: bang, banging, carboluscious, couscous, delicious, DIY, easy, ego, food, fusion, game changer, get laid, giant pearl couscous, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, Israeli, Japanese, kitchen, lemon, libido, naked, ooh ooh, Ponzu couscous recipe, ponzu sauce, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sesame oil, sex, side dish, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, yummy, zombies | 
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Posted by cooktobang
April 5, 2013
The roastest with the mostest!
It’s a damn shame how many people fear the artichoke. On the surface, it’s an intimidating vegetable. The spiky leaves that could kill a man certainly don’t help. Neither does the complicated center that is pretty, but inedible. But alas, once you get past all that superfluous nonsense, you got yourself an aphrodisiac that tastes like you broke off an angel’s wing and dipped it in wasabi. The texture alone should sell you on this magnificent gift from the food gods. Plus we’re talking finger food here. That means you can hand feed your date, fostering an intimacy you can later exploit. While you wait for the artichoke to roast, you can whip something equally awesome up or just waltz your date around the kitchen like a ballerina. Now be brave, be bold and buy yourself some artichokes! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: angel wings, aphrodisiac, artichoke, bang, banging, black pepper, calivirgin, citrus, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, libido, naked, olive oil, recipe, roast, Roast artichoke recipe, roast the choke blokes!, salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, spiky leaves, tasty, vegan, vegetable, vegetarian, wasabi, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
March 13, 2013
Give ’em a good talker before giving ’em a shocker!
You could almost call this the “shocker” of salads. There you are serving your date up some salad and they’ll assume it’s some sort of noodle salad. Ha! You will laugh uproariously when you inform them this gluten and low-carb salad ain’t got none of that noise. We’re talking healthy to the point of being almost impossible to fathom. How could a salad taste so freakishly awesome with a texture akin to licking an angel’s naught bits? Unfortunately for you, my lawyers have informed me that these are trade secrets. But I fought back and insisted in at least giving out the recipe to my readers. So COOK TO BANG in good health knowing that somewhere out there you have a digital chef wingman looking out for your baser needs. Who loves ya? Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, atkins, fusion, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, atkins, avocado, bang, banging, cilantro, delicious, digital chef, DIY, easy, fathom, food, game changer, get laid, gluten-free, gourmet, green onion, greens, guarantee, healthy, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, lettuce, libido, lime, low-carb, naked, naughty bits, noodle salad, recipe, roast, seduce, SEDUCTION, sesame oil, sex, soy sauce, spaghetti squash salad, spaghetti squash shocker salad recipe, tasty, the shocker, tomato, vegan, vegetarian, wingman, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 27, 2012
Somewhere over the rainbow, something's turning me on. Must be my Wizard of Oz fantasy.
Nothing gives me a chubby like an aesthetically pleasing plate of food. Not only does it satisfy the hunger pangs, but the emotionally pangs as well. Mark my words, nothing inspires sexy time dessert quite like a beautifully presented meal. How it tastes is almost secondary to how it looks on the plate. Shallow? Perhaps. But don’t question the rules of culinary seduction unless you want that chard on to go to waste. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, healthy, hippie, italian, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aesthetically pleasing, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, calivirgin, carboluscious, carbs, cook, crushed red chili flakes, delicious, DIY, easy, food, fusion, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, hard on, healthy pasta dish, hippie, homemade, intercourse, italian, kitchen, leafy, lemon, libido, linguine, naked, olive oil, pasta, rainbow chard on linguine, rainbow chard pasta recipe, rainbw chard, recipe, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shallow, tangy, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, vitamin c, yummy, zest | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
January 2, 2012
With this soup, you’ll always say, “Check mate!”
You are looking oh so fine!
I’ll warm you up and make you mine,
Ignore these less than stellar rhymes,
Just say yes to a little wine and dine!
Your creamy texture makes me yell,
I get all bent for your spicy smell,
Orgasms peak at the dinner bell,
Making the pious say, “What the hell?”
You make a player from a leper
A cocky bastard from a half-stepper
I collect coin with every endeavor
Cause you’re my little bell pepper.
Total time: approximately 80 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: LECHEROUS LEPRECHAUN
Ingredients (serves 2):
1. ½ tsp of CAYENNE PEPPER
2. ½ tsp of cumin
3. 1 can of chicken stock (veg for vegan)
4. 1 tbsp olive oil
5. ½ can of coconut milk
6. Black pepper to taste
7. ½ tsp of garlic salt
8. 3 red bell peppers
9. 1 onion chopped coarsely
Step 1
Roast the bell peppers in the oven at 400 degrees F until the skin blackens (approx 45 min). Remove from oven and throw them in a sealed bag. Refrigerate until they cool (approx 15 min), remove the skin and chop coarsely.
Step 2
While awaiting the peppers to cool, sauté the onions with the olive oil on medium heat. Add the garlic salt, cayenne pepper and cumin and cook in the flavor (approx 5 min). Add the red bell peppers and the black pepper and let them soak up some taste (approx 2 min).
Step 3
Pour in the stock, bring to a roaring boil, and then simmer closed until the veggies soften (approx 15 min). Puree the madness and then add the coconut milk and stir thoroughly.
2 Comments | RECIPES | Tagged: bang, banging, black pepper, cayenne pepper, chicken stock, cocky bastard, coconut milk, cumin, delicious, DIY, easy, endeavor, fine as hell bell pepper soup recipe, food, game changer, garlic salt, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, olive oil, onion, orgasm, poem, poetry, puree, recipe, red bell pepper, rhyme, roasted bell pepper soup recipe, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, spicy, tasty, thai style bell pepper soup, vegan, vegetable stock, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
November 16, 2011
Because banging once is never enough!
Why bang once when you can bang twice or thrice and on and on? The first banging session is a warm up, a mulligan if you will. Sure it’s like the first ascent of a famed mountain peak, but sometimes you are too exhausted to really take in the view. Now that you’re onto round two you can savor it. You’ve been here before, so you are appreciating new aspects like the pubic foliage. I hope that the arduous journey (cooking) was worth the destination (banging). It would have to be if you are coming back for a sequel. If Godfather II, Empire Strikes Back and Evil Dead 2 taught us anything, it’s that the second time can be sweeter than the first. So warm that shit back up for late night spooning. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, carboluscious, CARBS WORKIN’ THE CORNER, fusion, RECIPES, southern, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bake, bang, basil, carb, carbohydrates, cheddar cheese, delicious, DIY, easy, empire strikes back, evil dead 2, foliage, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, goat cheese, godfather II, golf, gourmet, gourmet twice baked potato, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, mulligan, naked, olive oil, onion, pepper, potato, pubic, recipe, salt, sauté, seduce, sex, sour cream, spooning, tasty, thrice, twice, Twice baked potato recipe, twice banged potato, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 23, 2011
Forget the little blue pill. Try the big green melon!
Are you feeling weak-willed, pathetic and flaccid? You no longer have an excuse with this outstanding summer soup recipe. Studies have proven that the citrulline in WATERMELON triggers arginine, the chemical in Viagra that gets male pistons pumping. This soup will turbo charge your libido so you can take plenty of prisoners in the bedroom who won’t want to be released. Stockholm Syndrome will be in effect with the amount of good loving you will be dishing out in a soup bowl. Did I mention how refreshing chilled watermelon soup tastes, especially when you go for seconds after a particularly exhausting banging session? Now get yourself to the market and then blow your dates mind, body and soul. Boom-chicka-wah-wah! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, healthy, HOT LIQUID LOVE, libation lubrication, RECIPES, summer, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: alcohol, aphrodisiac, arginine, bang, beta-carotene, butter, cancer-fighting, chilled, cialis, citrulline, club soda, delicious, DIY, easy, erectile dysfunction, flaccid, food, fruit, game changer, get laid, ginger, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, hot, intercourse, kitchen, libido, lime, limejuice, lycopene, melon, mint, naked, recipe, refreshing, sauté, seduce, seedless, sex, Stockholm syndrome, sugar, summer soup, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, Viagra, vodka, Watermelon soup recipe, white wine, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
August 21, 2011
Wango tango bango mango
Some dances are forbidden for good reason. Most people don’t want Pandora’s box open. All the yeah yeahs get out and inspire naughty behavior. For the average church-going type, this mindset is justifiable. But the act of reading this website puts you in the OTHER category with the greatest minds of any time. We question the status quo. So why wouldn’t you dance a dance considered morally bankrupt if it makes you feel good? That is merely their misguided opinion based on an unbendable worldview. But not you, dear reader. Have at it! This salad shall inspire you to dance with your partner in ways that will make them gasp, while onlookers blush. To hell with the haters who just can’t hang with your self-expression! You’re too busy throwing down with every last bit of lusty passion anyhow. Now sashay already!
Total time: approximately 30 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: White wine or a BANGARITA
Ingredients (serves 2)
1. 2 massive handfuls field greens
2. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
3. 2 tbsp CALIVIRGIN balsamic vinegar
4. 2 tbsp HONEY
5. 1 mango
Step 1
Preheat your oven to 350°F/175°C. Slice the mango on either side of the pit. Cut checkerboard slices into the mango meat, pour in half the honey and balsamic vinegar, and rub it in. Throw the mango halves into a oven safe plate or pan and roast until the meat softens and absorbs the flavor (approx 25 min). Scoop out the mango slices, rubbing them into the sauce.
Step 2
Combine the olive oil, and remaining honey and balsamic vinegar, stirring it into a dressing.
Step 3
Toss the field greens, mango, and dressing. Serve up with a delectable SINWICH and you are golden.
Leave a Comment » | healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, Mediterranean, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, balsamic vinegar, bang, banging, blush, calivirgin, chuch-going, dance, delicious, DIY, dressing, easy, field greens, food, forbidden, forbidden tango roast mango salad, fruit, game changer, gasp, get laid, gourmet, greens, guarantee, haters, healthy, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, libido, mango, morally bankrupt, naked, olive oil, Pandora’s box, recipe, roast, roast mango salad recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, status quo, tango, tasty, toss your salad, unbendable, vegan, vegetarian, worldview, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
February 2, 2011
Roquefort and Roll out of bed after a night of unspeakable acts.
This salad will rock her world. It will also rock his world. And its world should your dog eat it before you can. It’s like a techno dance party in your mouth. Each complimentary flavor will have the chance to bust a move on your tongue’s dance floor. The tart of the lemon will give a shout out to the creamy Roquefort who kicks it over to the endive ditty on out to the crispety crunchety apple who tips its hat to the tangy cranberry bossa nova. No one is immune to the uncontrollable taste bud tango. This is a great way to warm the evening up with a little bit of this and whole lot of that. Warning: those allergic to edible orgasms should steer clear if you know what’s good for you. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, french, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, apple, avocado, bang, bleu cheese, bust a move, cherry tomatoes, delicious, DIY, dried cranberries, easy, edible orgasm, endives, France, french, fruit, game changer, get laid, gourmet, greens, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon juice, naked, olive oil, recipe, Roquefort cheese, Roquefort cheese endive salad, seduce, sex, spinach, taste bud tango, tasty, techno dance party, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 28, 2010
Pom pom pomegranate, pom pom pomegranate, pomegranate, master of fruit!
The seedy, juicy, messy Biblical fruit has invaded my kitchen. This so-called super fruit is fabled to combat cancer, heart disease and ugliness. The juice stains deep red so it has to be the mark of something special, right? Naturally, wanting to make sure my readers are not only sexually satisfied, but healthy enough to enjoy the vigorous exercise associated with banging, I am bringing the pomegranate into the COOK TO BANG fold. The seeds are a challenge to set free, but the joy they bring with each bite make them well worth the trouble. It’s not unlike removing a stubborn bra: you may jam your finger in an effort to set free a pair of glorious juggernauts. A little extra effort will pay off dividends when your date is touched by your concern for their health. Come dessert time it will be paid forward and hopefully again for breakfast. Now go on and shake it until you make it! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | atkins, fusion, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, Middle Eastern, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: atkins, bang, banging, biblical, bra, calivirgin, cancer, dairy, delicious, DIY, easy, feta cheese, fiber, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, greens, guarantee, health, healthy, heart disease, homemade, intercourse, juggernauts, kitchen, libido, naked, olive oil, onion, pay it forward, pear, pomegranate, pomegranate pear feta salad recipe, recipe, red wine vinegar, romaine lettuce, roughage, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sexually satisfied, shake your pom pomegranate salad recipe, super food, tasty, ugliness, vegan, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 