August 14, 2015
Too hot to handle, Too cold to hold. They call this an aphrodisiac, Now go and be bold!
I feel ya! Now feel me. Go on. Reach out and take hold. Wondering what that hot sensation is? It’s my caliente Latin vibe making your brow sweat, heart race, and loins go pitter-patter. Who says boozy drinks can only be sweet, sour, or bloody boring? A pox on thy lame house! How about a spicy alcoholic beverage that is sure to prime them for the night’s inevitable conclusion? That, my friends, is taking the initiative. Your date will never accuse you of having an apologetic palette. Now be sure to feel them as they feel ya tequila. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | 
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Posted by cooktobang
July 24, 2015
The ancient fable spoke of a golden era of cooking and banging.
Read through the footnotes of the Kama Sutra and you will learn about a mysterious dish with incomparable sexual power. This dish had not been created then, but was predicted by a great Indian psychic. I took the liberty of deciphering the ancient Sanskrit because I am a power hungry sociopath. My goal was to control the opposite sex’s minds. So far so good. I can get my stable to sit, fetch and bend over. Good girls! The simplicity of grilled fish and a salad makes this one of the easiest methods of keeping someone you want to bang under your spell. Now I pass along this fabled recipe to you. Grill with God! Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, RECIPES, seafood, summer | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, coals, delicious, dill, DIY, easy, fable, fables maple salmon recipe, fast, fish, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, green onions, grill with god, grillin' like a villain, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kama sutra, kitchen, libido, naked, recipe, Sanskrit, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sociopath, summer, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 17, 2015
The broc shall defrock!
This recipe comes courtesy of James in Portland, OR. Here’s to starting off the summer right with a unique summer grill recipe! James writes:
Something about those summer thrills gives me the chills. Sure you’re sweating your balls off and stuffing your face with something hot. But this recipe is so damn cool it makes you feel all refreshed because it’s still healthy and damn tasty! My mama always told me broccoli would make me live forever. Who know if that is true? One thing I can say with certainty, I’m gonna Cook To Bang forever! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, contests, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, bbq, bbq broccoli, broccoli head, chills, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, grill, grilled thrills broccoli, grillin' like a villain, ground pepper, guarantee, healthy, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, lemon vegan, libido, naked, olive oil, Oregon, pine nuts, Portland, recipe, salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, summer, tasty, tinfoil, vegetarian, yum, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 3, 2015
American produce, love it or grill it!
America, fuck yeah! Can you feel the patriotism emanating off the computer screen and making your heart beet to the Star Spangled Banner. Even if you aren’t a tea-partying real patriot, you gotta love your country right about now. And if you don’t, God shall smite thee with ten billion pounds of fireworks. In all seriousness folks, I’m not denigrating diversity. But I will be drinking heavily, grilling gleefully, and fornicating under a gun-powdered scented sky. Here’s to a healthy holiday full of American excess. Another beet from the grill? Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, dairy, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, holidays, RECIPES, summer, vegetarian | Tagged: 4th of july, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, bbq, bbq beets recipe, beets, calivirgin, delicious, DIY, easy, fireworks, food, game changer, get laid, glenn beck, goat cheese, gourmet, grill, grilled beets recipe, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, libido, naked, olive oil, patriotism, recipe, red white and beets recipe, sea salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, star spangled banner, summer, tasty, tea partying, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 1, 2015
When your date says “Oh!” you say “Yeah!”
Oh boy! Oh man! Oh god! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (to NKTOB groove)! These are just some of the many reactions I have heard to making oatmeal CTB style. We’ve all eaten instant oatmeal, mostly during childhood, although some of us (my friends know who I speak of) still gobble that shit up. But what about the rest of whose taste buds haven’t matured beyond a 6-year-old, their fingers stained with Kool-Aid? Oatmeal can be something other than a bland exercise in self-restraint. But why not have the best of both worlds? Nutrition and flavor can still give each other lap dances with the right amount of TLC. And that’s what this recipe is all about. Here’s to the one sleeping in your bed who’s waking up to a big surprise. Expect them to be smiling like a donut. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, dairy, healthy, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bananas, bang, banging, boil, brown sugar, butter, cinnamon, delicious, DIY, easy, flavor, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, gourmet oatmeal, guarantee, healthy, homemade, honey, instant oatmeal, intercourse, kitchen, kool-aid, lap dances, libido, melt, milk, mix, naked, new kids on the block, nktob, nutrition, o-face, o-faced oatmeal recipe, oats, oh-faced, raisins, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, smile like a donut, syrup, tasty, tlc, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 26, 2015
Beer Can Chicken got a whole lot easier.
Behold: simplified beer can chicken for 2. Sure you could go the badass route of stuffing a whole chicken with a leaking beer can, but that is both labor intensive and way too much food. This little ditty is perfect for a summer evening date outdoors. The object is to stay outside for the course of the evening. That means banging under the stars. Make like your primitive ancestors who never heard of the concept of shame or waiting until marriage. For those hairy bastards it was all banging all the time. Use the beer marinade as an excuse for your barbaric behavior. “It was the booze flavored meat that made me strip down to a fur loincloth, club you and drag you by the hair into my cave!” Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, poultry, RECIPES, summer | Tagged: ancestors, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, barbecue, barbecue rub, bastards, bbq, bbq rub, beer, beer can chicken for 2, beer can chicken recipe, booze, caveman, chicken breasts, chicken out your beer cans recipe, coals, delicious, DIY, easy, fast, fire, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, grill, grillin' like a villain, guarantee, hairy, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, libido, loincloth, marinade, marriage, naked, outdoors, primitive, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shame, summer, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 24, 2015
Elvis has left the building…with your girl
The King is back. Elvis had the right idea with his clever combination of peanut butter, honey, and bananas. A little gold lame and you will be styling even posthumously. You can be the King of your kitchen when you start your morning out with a glass of burning love. Be the hound dog who gets all shook up in the sack, while avoiding singing in some jail with backup dancers in striped prison suits. This smoothee was made on a whim when I had fuck all for ingredients and was ravenous and parched from exhausting morning sex. Simple, fast, effective. The only thing lacking was a throng of screaming girls. Technically there was only one girl screaming my name. But Elvis wasn’t the King overnight so give me time. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, dairy, libation lubrication, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES, southern | Tagged: 50’s, 75th birthday, almond milk, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, beverage, blend, breakfast, delicious, DIY, drink, easy, elvis presley, food, frozen bananas, game changer, get laid, gourmet, graceland, guarantee, heartbreak hotel, homemade, honey, hound dog, intercourse, jailhouse rock, kitchen, libido, milk, morning, morning sex, naked, peanut butter, recipe, rice milk, rock and roll, screaming girls, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, smoothee, smoothie, soy milk, tasty, the king, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 22, 2015
Lox me up, because otherwide, I'd break these chains and ravage anything in my sight.
With Valentines Day creeping in like a ninja assassin, you better be ready with you’re A-game if you are seeing someone you like. It’s make or break time that will define where this relationship of yours will progress towards. If you don’t like them all that much, might I suggest a vacation far far away. You don’t want to be anywhere near town with a clinger you’re about to retire. But those of you lucky enough to have that one person you would gladly Cook To Bang every night, you need to start Valentine’s Day off right. There are few better approaches than breakfast in bed. Cliche it may be, but effective at not only dropping panties, but also keeping them off for long gaps of time it is. This fancy scramble from the future us perfect for sending the message that, ìNot only do I enjoy banging you, but also listening to you talk while we eat breakfast together.î If that is not true love, I weep for the future. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, Austrian, bang, banging, benefits, black pepper, bodyguard, bok choy, breakfast, chloroform, clinger, coincidental, delicious, DIY, easy, eggs, food, game changer, get laid, goat cheese, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, libido, lox, morning, motorcade, naked, ninja assassin, olive oil, physiological, recipe, red onion, salt, scramble, seduce, SEDUCTION, sesame seeds, sex, sex to me, smoked salmon, sophistication, steam, steamed, sweet, tasty, UN, valentines day, vegan, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 19, 2015
You say Menudo, I say Backstreet Boys, Serve them up at 98 Degrees
What’s the first thing you think of when I say MENUDO? You probably are thinking about a crappy Latin boy band from the 80’s. This is truly unfortunate. You are letting outdated pop culture byproducts cloud your judgment. Let me educate you unfortunate souls on menudo mix. This simple Mexican blend of herbs and spices (oregano, crushed red pepper flakes, onion powder, cumin, and onion powder) can take some dishes from bueno to AY CARUMBA! Like Ricky Martin’s career, this is certainly the case with this dish. Shrimp have the glorious ability to absorb almost any flavor into its awesome texture. Keep them in their shells and you will have flavor to spare. You just have to bring the same amount of flare into the bedroom as Menudo brought on stage for the millions of 80’s teenage girls in their neon leggings and jelly shoes. I have faith in you. So next time you think about Menudo, eat without prejudice. Read the rest of this entry »
8 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, mexican, RECIPES, seafood, spicy | Tagged: 80’s, Antoine, aphrodisiac, atkins, bang, boy band, cumin, delicious, DIY, easy, flavor, game changer, get laid, gourmet, Grilled shrimp recipe, grillin' like a villain, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, jelly shoes, kitchen, leggings, lemon, menudo mix, menudo shrimp recipe, mexican, mexico, naked, neon, olive oil, onion powder, oregano, recipe, red pepper, Ricky martin, salt, seafood, seduce, sex, shrimp, south beach diet, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 17, 2015
BBW…Big Beautiful Women…Brash Bold Wicked
This one goes out to all the Big Beautiful Ladies out there. I’m not too proud to admit that in the course of banging like a champion, I’ve entertained a few BBW with “great personalities”. So here’s a sexy salad with an amazing personality. It’s delicious, nutritious, and calorie-vicious. While most salads are meant to help you lose weight, a few rather yummy ones work the opposite way. The very nature of ranch dressing is an oxymoron: making lean salads fattening. But the creamy liquid does taste dreamy. Combine it with tangy BBQ sauce and the calorically-challenged will flock. This salad is sure to satisfy both of your cravings. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, LEAFY & LOVELY, poultry, RECIPES | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, barbecue chop chicken salad, bbq chop chicken salad recipe, bbq sauce, bbw, BBW BBQ Chop Chicken Salad recipe, big beautiful women, black beans, breast, calorically-challenged, chicken, cilantro, corn, creamy, delicious, DIY, dreamy, dressing, easy, fiber, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, great personality, green onion, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, jack cheese, kitchen, lettuce, libido, naked, olive oil, ranch dressing, recipe, romaine, roughage, salad, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, tomato, tortilla chips, toss my salad, tossed salad, veggies, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 