Cook To Bang – Recipes To Get You Laid

November 2009
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FRIENDS BANGSGIVING

Posted on November 26, 2009 by cooktobang

Bang that turkey until it's goes gobble gobble gobble!

It’s time for the orphan round up! Many young professional go-getters moved far away from home to chase down a dream…and then bang it senseless. For us, going “home”, that place we grew up where our families and oldest friends are, is an impossibility. For most, it’s a matter of cash, or lack there of (too much cash spent drinking and chasing tail). It could be a matter of time (I’d rather drink), distance (That far for 4 days?!), or annoyance (If I hear dad ask me to explain my job one more time…). Whatever the case may be, you are sticking around for a stay-cation and will be attending a Friends Thanksgiving. What a perfect time to get banged by Little Orphan Annie or Andy!

Now’s the time to pounce on that someone you’ve had your eye on, or one your eye spots this evening. Lonely and single people eating and drinking together is a recipe for magical mistakes. Everyone there including you will be missing your families and seeking comfort. Who are you to deny a holiday hottie the warmth of your bed? You have so much to be thankful for. Show some gratitude by cooking to bang this holiday season.

What better way to start than steal the show and the hot girl/boy than bringing the most banging dish on the table? Our apologies, we don’t have a Thanksgiving turkey recipe just yet. But that’s the job of your host who will be getting laid regardless. For the rest of you, here are some Cook To Bang classics that will make all the single people at the table not only thankful, but grateful:

LIBATION LUBRICATION
•    BANGSGIVING BEVVY
•    HOTTIE TODDY
•    NAUGHTY EGGNOG
•    SAN-GRAB-YA SANGRIA

APPETIZERS
•    ARTICHOKE AND POKE DIP
•    BAKED BRIEZ NUTS
•    BANG LIKE THE DEVILED EGGS
•    JUST THE STUFFED MUSHROOM TIP
•    UNDRESS ME, CAPRESES
•    WRAP YOUR PROSCIUTTO AROUND MY FIG

SIDES
•    CREAM IN YOUR PANTS SPINACH
•    GARLIC GOING ON MASHED POTATOES
•    ORAL TATER-SPLOSIONS
•    SQUISHY SQUASHY CASSEROLE
•    TOWER OF SWEET TATER TEMPTATION
•    TWICE BANGED POTATOES
•    WHO DA MAC AND CHEESE?

SOUPS
•    BUST-A-NUT SQUASH SOUP
•    CARNAL CARROT SOUP
•    LEEK MY TATER SOUP
• PIMPIN’ PUMPKIN SOUP

SALADS
•    BEET YOUR MEAT SALAD
•    CHICKEN OUT YOUR ASS SALAD
•    FORBIDDEN FRUIT SALAD
•    ROCK-HER-WORLD ROQUEFORT SALAD
•    SHAKE YOUR POM POMEGRANATE SALAD

DESSERT
•    BOOMBASTIC BLUEBERRY CRISP
•    DOUBLE DIP THE TIP IN CHOCOLATE
•    GOODNESS GRACIOUS GRANDMA! COOKIES
•    HOT DUMB BLONDIES
•    HUMPIN’ & PUMPKIN PIE (obviously!)
•    LECHEROUS LEMON BARS
•    POP THEIR CHERRY JUBILEE
•    RICE PUDDING POONTANG

Filed under: SEDUCTION, THANKSGIVING, holidays | Tagged: appetizers, bang, banging, bangsgiving, delicious, dessert, DIY, drinks, easy, food, friends thanksgiving, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, holiday thanksgiving, holidays, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, little orphan annie, naked, orphans, recipe, salad, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, side dishes, sides, soup, starters, tasty, unsalted vegetarian, yummy | Leave a Comment »

BANGSGIVING BEVVY

Posted on November 25, 2009 by cooktobang

There's so much to be thankful for...give some banging in return.

Tonight is the night. Whether you came home to see the relatives or are treating your closest friends like the family you bang, shit is going off this evening. This one goes out to all the people traveling to their hometowns who will catch up with old friends the Thanksgiving Eve. Odds are you will catch up on old times, tell lies about what you’re doing with your life, and drink yourselves into oblivion. This is the perfect recipe for banging that hottie you always wanted in high school, but never had the game to pull it off. The new you lacks that doubt that kept you from consummating a crush you likely slapped your genitals around over. Should the nerve of someone with nothing to lose (at this point, who cares?) still not stand at attention, you got one hell of a festive drink to inspire some courage. Thanksgiving in a martini glass will just about do it. These go down smooth so be careful. You don’t want to do the walk of shame right into your family’s Thanksgiving dinner.

Total time: approximately 3 minutes
Projected cost: $8
Eating Buddy: Anything and everything Thanksgiving themed

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 can pear nectar
2. 3 shots vanilla vodka
3. 1 tbsp pumpkin butter
4. Ice
5. 2 cinnamon sticks

Step 1
Combine the pumpkin butter, vanilla vodka, pear nectar, and ice in a martini shaker. Shake it vigorously like you did in high school when you couldn’t get banged if your dweeby life depended on it. Pour the contents into a martini glass and garnish with a cinnamon stick.

Drink ‘em up, drink ‘em down. Become that drunken clown!

Filed under: RECIPES, THANKSGIVING, fusion, holidays, libation lubrication | Tagged: alcohol, bang, banging, bangsgiving, bangsgiving bevvy, booze, cinnamon sticks, delicious, DIY, drunk, easy, family, fantasizing, food, friends thanksgiving, game changer, genitals, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, high school crush, holiday thanksgiving, holidays, homecoming, homemade, ice, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, oblivion, old friends, parents, pear nectar, pumpkin butter, pumpkin martini recipe, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shaken not stirred, tasty, thanksgiving dinner, thanksgiving martini recipe, the new you, unsalted vegetarian, vanilla vodka, walk of shame, yummy | 1 Comment »

BANGSGIVING: CREAM IN YOUR PANTS SPINACH

Posted on November 24, 2009 by cooktobang

I cream, you cream, we all cream from my filthy food dreams!

I suggest bringing a change of underwear for this one. Decadent doesn’t begin to describe this supernova of creaminess found in this holiday side dish. Don’t feel too embarrassed by your “accident” while eating Cook To Bang style creamed spinach. Chances are everyone else you serve it to will also lose control of their sexual organs and cream in a symphony of sensuality. Expect a flavor orgy. The Thanksgiving may well be swept right off the table as your Friends Thanksgiving turns into a Friends With Benefits Thanksgiving. If you are looking for a more muted, PG-rated side dish you have come to the wrong place. This is the culinary pleasure dome and you are the guest of honor. Serve this dish to a pack of holiday hotties and you will always be the guest of honor.

Total time: approximately 90 minutes
Projected cost: $6
Drinking Buddy: Red wine or CHASING GINGER TAIL

Ingredients (serves 4):
1. 1 dash black pepper
2. 1 dash salt
3. 2 dashes ground nutmeg
4. ½ cup heavy cream
5. 1 tbsp unsalted butter
6. 1 large handful shallots finely chopped
7. 1 handful raw PINE NUTS
8. 2 cloves garlic finely chopped
9. 1½ lb fresh spinach

Step 1
Wash your spinach thoroughly, chop off the thick stocks and boil for 2 minutes. Drain the spinach, straining out as much of the water as you can squeeze.

Step 2
Melt the butter in a pan and sauté the garlic and shallots until they become translucent (approx 3 min). Add the spinach, salt, black pepper, nutmeg and pine nuts heat through (approx 2 min). Finally add the heavy cream and cook until the cream reduces in half (approx 2 min).

Filed under: APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, THANKSGIVING, aphrodisiac, fusion, holidays, southern, vegetarian | Tagged: accident, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, bangsgiving, black pepper, cream in your pants, cream in your pants spinach recipe, creamed spinach recipe, dairy, decadent, delicious, DIY, easy, fattening, flavor orgy, food, friends thanksgiving, friends with benefits, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, gourmet creamed spinach recipe, guarantee, guest of honor, heavy cream, holiday hotties, holidays, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, nutmeg, orgasm, pg-rated, pine nuts, premature ejaculation, recipe, salt, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sexual organs, shallots, side dish, spinach, symphony of sensuality, tasty, THANKSGIVING, turkey, unsalted butter, vegetarian, yummy | Leave a Comment »

BANGSGIVING: HUMPIN’ & PUMPKIN PIE

Posted on November 23, 2009 by cooktobang

I'll be humping and pumpkin out pies all night long!

Bangsgiving is upon us! It’s time to prepare yourself for a night of indulgence. While the family-values singles makes their way home to justify to their families why they aren’t married with kids yet, there is a large sect of the dating population that ain’t going nowhere. Friends Thanksgivings are a time for those of us “orphans” too poor, lazy or unwilling to make the trek to see our disapproving families. These are perfect times for the savvy and horny people to eat, drink and make merry mistakes. There are usually a few hotties missing their folks back home who will need some comforting. That’s where you come in! Blow their mind with a pumpkin pie bolder and sexier (aphrodisiac triple-threat) than even Aunt Sue-Ellen’s prized pie of ‘07. Once they’ve tasted a sweet piece of heaven, they will go for seconds…of you.

Total time: approximately 90 minutes
Projected cost: $12
Drinking Buddy: Fermented turkey gravy or NAUGHTY EGGNOG

Ingredients (creates 2 pies):
1. 1 handful raw PINE NUTS
2. 20-OZ condensed milk
3. ½ tsp salt
4. 1/3 cup HONEY
5. 1 cinnamon stick
6. 1 tsp vanilla extract
7. 1 tsp ground nutmeg
8. 4 eggs
9. 1 pie pumpkin
10. ½ cup brown sugar
11. 2 pie crusts (room temperature)
12. 1 tbsp fresh GINGER finely chopped
13. 1 tbsp unsalted butter

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 425°F/220°C. Slice the pumpkin in half, scoop out the innards, steam until the pumpkin meat can easily be pierced (approx 15 min), and then scoop the gunk out of the shell.

Step 2
Add the ginger to the pumpkin gunk and puree. Add the brown sugar, butter, honey, vanilla extract, nutmeg, condensed milk, salt and eggs and puree like a champ.

Step 3
Form the pie crust to your pie pan. Ladle in the pie filling, leaving room at the top. Stick the cinnamon stick in the middle of the pie in the dough so it stands at attention as if being aroused.

Step 4
Bake for 10 minutes, remove from the oven and scatter the pine nuts over the top. Turn the heat down to 350°F/175°C and throw the pie back into oven, baking until the top browns and you can push a bread knife into the pie and it comes out clean (approx 45-55 min).

Serve the pie up with whipped cream, ice cream or solo. You’re that good!

Filed under: APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, RECIPES, SWEET TEMPTATIONS, THANKSGIVING, aphrodisiac, fusion, holidays, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, aphrodisiac pumpkin pie, bake, bang, banging, bangsgiving, brown sugar, cinnamon stick, condensed milk, delicious, dessert, DIY, easy, eggs, food, friends thanksgiving, game changer, get laid, ginger, gourmet, gourmet pumkin pie recipe, ground nutmeg, guarantee, homemade, homemade pumpkin pie, honey, humpin’ and pumkin pie recipe, intercourse, kitchen, libido, merry mistakes, naked, orphan thanksgivings. homesick, pie crust, pie pumkin, pine nuts, pumpkin pie recipe, recipe, salt, savvy, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sue-ellen, sweet, tasty, THANKSGIVING, unsalted butter, vanilla, vegetarian, yummy | Leave a Comment »

CAPABLE MAPLE SQUASH

Posted on November 20, 2009 by cooktobang

You are capable of anything and everything. I believe in you!

Achieving goals comes down realizing you are capable of anything with enough effort, planning and luck. That is especially true when it comes to banging. Too many suckers assume they are incapable of pulling some prime tail because they’re not rich or handsome or funny. Those are all excuses that make you part of the beta majority. Be bold! I approach everything from my career to my food to my women with bravado and swagger. Fuck the critics (I have many) who say it’s better to give up and accept the 2nd place fruit basket! Take this recipe. I felt like I hit my culinary creativity wall the other night. A new girl was en route to my house and I hadn’t figured out yet how to knock her socks (and panties) off with my grub. I’m not about to let me rep as Mr. Cook To Bang suffer so I went big. I grabbed random ingredients to create what my instincts were telling me would be outstanding. It was the right call. My date had never eaten anything like it. The spicy, sweet combination got her sweating long before I closed the deal. She was incapable of saying no.

Total time: approximately 40 minutes
Projected cost: $7
Drinking Buddy: Milk, since it’s hot hot HOT!

Ingredients (serves 4):
1. ½ cup maple syrup
2. 2 dashes salt
3. 2 dashes black pepper
4. 3 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
5. 1 yellow squash
6. 1 zucchini
7. 1 Anaheim CHILI chopped finely
8. 3 garlic cloves sliced thinly
9. 1 handful cilantro chopped finely

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350°F/175°C. Slice the ends off the yellow squash and zucchini and cut lengthwise in long, thin strips.

Step 2
Grease a large baking pan with olive oil. Lay down the flavor with the garlic and chilies. Place the squash strips, varying them up. Salt and pepper them, crown with cilantro and smother it all with maple syrup.

Step 3
Throw the pan in the oven and cook until the squashes soften and absorb all the flavor (approx 30 min). Place the squash on a platter and pour the sauce from the pan over.

Serve this fine side dish with any number of ENTRÉES.

Filed under: APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, aphrodisiac, fusion, healthy, spicy, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: Anaheim chili, bake, bang, banging, beta, black pepper, bravado, calivirgin, capable maple squash recipe, cilantro, delicious, DIY, easy, food, fruit basket, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, hot, incapable, intercourse, kitchen, libido, majority, maple syrup, naked, olive oil, recipe, salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, side dish, spicy, spicy sweet squash recipe, sucker, swagger, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, yellow squash, yummy, zucchini | Leave a Comment »

STUFFED PEPPER PARTY

Posted on November 19, 2009 by cooktobang

The stuffed pepper party train has left the station!

It’s time to throw down! The week ain’t over yet, but you’re leady to let the dogs out. Woof to the M-F’ing woof! I suggest you get funky in the kitchen rather than unleash potentially rabid beasts onto the populace. Sure it may not be as thrilling as sending cooped up canines out into your neighborhood to attack mailmen and Xanaxed housewives alike. You will however avoid a lawsuit and a stern warning from animal control. Why not invite someone sexy over for a little party for two instead? What better way to do that than with bell peppers, chicken and apples? I do declare you are both in for a treat! Once you guys stuff yourselves with these aphrodisiac-stuffed peppers, it’s time for someone to get stuffed. Don’t be surprised if those same dogs howl along with as you both scream pleasurable expletives into the night.

Total time: approximately 25 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: MO MOJO MOJITO

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. 1 apple
3. 1 red bell pepper
4. 1 tbsp red wine vinegar
5. 2 chicken breasts
6. Jack cheese (at your discretion
7. 1 handful BASIL chopped finely
8. 2 tbsp fresh GINGER chopped coarsely
9. 1 handful raw PINE NUTS

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350°F/175°C. Chop the chicken into bite-sized pieces and marinate with the basil and red wine vinegar (approx 15 min). Brown in a pan (approx 3 min) and set aside.

Step 2
Chop the apple into thin slices, discarding core. Saute the ginger with the olive oil. Add the apples and cook until they reduce (approx 5 min). Add the chicken and pine nuts and cook all together (approx 2 min).

Step 3
Slice the red bell pepper in half and remove the seeds and veins. Stuff them with the chicken/apple. Crown it all with cheese and bake in the oven until the cheese melts (approx 10 min).

Serve this fine ENTRÉE up with a nice SALAD or double the recipe if you’re hungry like a dog.

Filed under: APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, SEDUCTION, aphrodisiac, fusion, healthy, poultry | Tagged: animal control, aphrodisiac, apple, bake, bang, banging, basil, calivirgin, canine, chicken apples stuffed bell peppers, chicken breast, delicious, DIY, dogs, easy, food, game changer, get laid, get stuffed, ginger, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, housewives, howl, intercourse, jack cheese, kitchen, lawsuit, libido, mailmen, naked, olive oil, pine nuts, recipe, red bell pepper, red wine vinegar, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, Stuffed bell pepper recipe, stuffed pepper party, tasty, who let the dogs out?, woof, xanax, yummy | Leave a Comment »

CHARD ON EGGS

Posted on November 18, 2009 by cooktobang

Breakfast totally gets me hard

Breakfast just gets my juices flowing if you catch my drift. And it’s not just because of morning wood. Eating something delicious and nourishing in the cold, dark hours of a new day puts in a good place. It’s not unlike morning sex. The combination of the two sends me to work with a bounce in my step that no micromanaging boss could take away. So when captain douche bag stops by your cubicle to ask how that report is coming along, you can look them in the eye, smile and say, “I’m right on top of that.” What you’re really thinking is, “I spent my morning humping, pumping and then munching, so suck it, boss man.” Now get on with your day because you have a night of cooking and banging to look forward to while your boss will go home to cry into a bowl of soggy Cheerios.

Total time: approximately 10 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Free squeezed OJ or NOT-SO-TEENY WEENY BELLINI

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 dash paprika
2. 1 dash garlic salt
3. 2 massive handfuls chard
4. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
5. 4 eggs
6. ½ AVOCADO sliced thinly
7. 2 bacon strips

Step 1
Chop the bacon into nibbles. Wash the chard and chop.

Step 2
Beat the eggs with garlic salt and paprika.

Step 3
Fry the bacon in the olive oil until crispy. Throw in the chard and cook down (approx 2 min). pour in the eggs and ever so slowly scramble so they form in slabs of eggy goodness. Top it off avocado slices and prepare for liftoff.

Filed under: APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES, aphrodisiac, healthy | Tagged: aphrodisiac, avocado, bacon, bang, banging, boss, breakfast, calivirgin, chard, chard on eggs recipe, chard scrambled eggs, cheerios, cubicle, delicious, DIY, douche bag, easy, eggs, food, game changer, garlic salt, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, low fat, micromanaging, morning sex, MORNING WOOD, naked, nourishing, olive oil, paprika, recipe, scramble, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, yummy | 1 Comment »

LICK MY ZUCCHINI STICK

Posted on November 17, 2009 by cooktobang

You gotta lick it before you zucchini stick it!

I’m not trying to be crass. It’s just an open invitation for your tongue. Do what you gotta, but the door is always open. This is for your benefit after all. Much like Christmas or Hanukkah, I get way more pleasure giving than receiving. I assure you this arrangement will be mutually beneficial and your tongue will likely be writing me a thank you note or, at the very least, a Facebook poke. When your tongue is done licking, you’ll be good to go for any number of sporting events or tailgating parties. Then you’ll be the one whose stick all the cool kids want to lick. Monday football never tasted so naughty!

Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $4
Drinking Buddy: Beer or BANGARITA

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tbsp CALIVIRGIN olive oil
2. ¼ cup breadcrumbs
3. Ranch dressing to dip
4. 1 dash black pepper
5. 1 dash garlic salt
6. 2 dashes dry BASIL flakes
7. 2 dashes CAYENNE PEPPER
8. 1 zucchini
9. 2 eggs

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 450°F/230°C. Cut the ends off the zucchini and then cut into bite-sized sticks.

Step 2
Create the breading by combining the breadcrumbs, black pepper, garlic salt, basil and cayenne pepper. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs.

Step 3
Grease a pan with olive oil. Dip each zucchini stick in eggs and then roll in the breading. Place each stick in the pan, leaving room between them. Throw them in the oven and bake until the breading browns (approx 7-10 min).

Serve this lower-fat FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY up with the ranch and score a touchdown.

Filed under: APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, RECIPES, aphrodisiac, spicy, sports, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, appetizer, baked zucchini sticks, bang, banging, basil, black pepper, breadcrumbs, calivirgin, cayenne pepper, Christmas, cool kids, delicious, DIY, easy, eggs, facebook, finger food, food, game changer, garlic salt, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, Hanukah, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, lick, lick my zucchini stick recipe, Monday night football, naked, olive oil, poke, ranch dressing, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, squash, tailgating, tasty, tongue, yummy, zucchini, zucchini sticks recipe | Leave a Comment »

GOLDEN METEOR SHOWER

Posted on November 16, 2009 by cooktobang

The sky is falling...so is your underwear!

For the uninitiated, tonight or more accurately, early tomorrow morning, November 17, 2009 the Leonid Meteor Shower will be on full display. Viewing times will vary depending on your location, but it will be past your bedtime (approx 11pm-4am). Specific info can be found here:

http://www.space.com/spacewatch/091113-2009-leonid-meteor-shower.html

A better date activity there could not be. Rest assured, you know I will be banging under an exploding sky! So if you have a special someone you want to share a quiet, albeit cold (for my Northern Hemisphere readers) night, prepare yourself. A late night picnic under a kaleidoscope sky is sure to get you laid. Who said romance is dead? Below are suggestions on how to maximize a date of cosmic proportions:

It’s going to be cold. You don’t want to get frostbite on your naughty bits. BRING:

Heavy blankets
Sleeping bag
Air Mattress
Pillows
Flashlight
Warm coat
Hat
Scarf
Music
Condoms
Intergalactic Lube

You want something to nibble and something warm and possibly boozy to sip on. Here are suggestions from the CTB canon to SERVE:

SMOKING HOT PEPPERMINT FATTY

CHICKEN WING FLING

WRAP YOUR PROSCIUTTO AROUND MY FIG

BUST-A-NUT SQUASH SOUP

PIMPIN’ PUMPKIN SOUP

PINCH YOUR ASS-BERRY BROWNIES

LECHEROUS LEMON BARS

Enjoy the show courtesy of the Universe. Happy banging!

Honey, let's get busy while Orion watches!

Filed under: SEDUCTION | Tagged: bang, banging, comet, cosmically, cosmos, date, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, Leonid Meteor Shower, libido, meteor, naked, picnic, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sky, stars, tasty, universe, yummy | Leave a Comment »

OBSCENE TANGERINE DREAM SCALLOPS

Posted on November 13, 2009 by cooktobang

Dream a little obscene dream

I dream a little dream every day. My dreams do not consist of me running in a field of daffodils holding hands with my pure-as-virgin-snow fiancé. There is no discussion of curtain rods and where to hang the menacing portrait of her father in our bedroom so he can watch us “make grandchildren”. That is another man’s dream that I find boringly obscene. My dreams are of the social derelict variety. They are filled with morally questionable fluids that get all over the bed, walls and playtime companions’ faces. The soundtrack consists of gasps, moans, and cracks from my flat hand connecting with firm backsides. You could hook my brain up to your DVR and I’d single-handedly put Skinemax out of business. My lawyers are already in discussion with Time Warner, but it comes down how many private islands I will receive stocked with island girls…coming soon to a living room near you. Perverted as I am, I’m also a glutton in my dreams. And this Chinese style scallop recipe came out of one such decadent dream. Enjoy my nocturnal emissions on your plate!

Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $13
Drinking Buddy: Beer or sweet white wine like a Riesling

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 tsp Sriracha Hot CHILI Sauce
2. 1 tbsp oyster sauce
3. 1 tbsp soy sauce
4. 1 tbsp vegetable oil
5. ½ lb SCALLOPS
6. 1 red bell pepper cut in strips
7. 2 tangerines
8. 4 green onions choppers coarsely
9. 1 handful celery chopped coarsely
10. 1 lime wedge
11. 1 small handful GINGER chopped finely

Step 1
Marinate the scallops in limejuice and soy sauce.

Step 2
Zest the tangerine skin, peel and separate the wedges.

Step 3
Sauté the ginger, tangerine zest and celery with the vegetable oil, Sriracha chili sauce and oyster sauce.

Step 4
Add the red bell pepper and tangerine wedges and cook until they soften (approx 3 min). Add the scallops and cook through, flipping once (approx 4 min). Turn off the heat and garnish with green onions.

Serve this bad boy with some white rice or any combination of CTB certified RICE or NOODLE dishes.