January 5, 2015
You are capable of anything and everything. I believe in you!
Achieving goals comes down realizing you are capable of anything with enough effort, planning and luck. That is especially true when it comes to banging. Too many suckers assume they are incapable of pulling some prime tail because they’re not rich or handsome or funny. Those are all excuses that make you part of the beta majority. Be bold! I approach everything from my career to my food to my women with bravado and swagger. Fuck the critics (I have many) who say it’s better to give up and accept the 2nd place fruit basket! Take this recipe. I felt like I hit my culinary creativity wall the other night. A new girl was en route to my house and I hadn’t figured out yet how to knock her socks (and panties) off with my grub. I’m not about to let me rep as Mr. Cook To Bang suffer so I went big. I grabbed random ingredients to create what my instincts were telling me would be outstanding. It was the right call. My date had never eaten anything like it. The spicy, sweet combination got her sweating long before I closed the deal. She was incapable of saying no. Read the rest of this entry »
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aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, spicy, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: Anaheim chili, bake, bang, banging, beta, black pepper, bravado, calivirgin, capable maple squash recipe, cilantro, delicious, DIY, easy, food, fruit basket, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, hot, incapable, intercourse, kitchen, libido, majority, maple syrup, naked, olive oil, recipe, salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, side dish, spicy, spicy sweet squash recipe, sucker, swagger, tasty, vegan, vegetarian, yellow squash, yummy, zucchini | 
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Posted by cooktobang
December 26, 2014
It’s Silly Willy the love dish, Horny thru and thru, Your tongue’s on fire you’re date’s turn on, Awe ee ooh ooh!
That silly willy gets all over the place! Feed it spicy food and watch it zoom around the room like a monkey on a meth/Viagra cocktail. Shenanigans shall ensue and it will get messy! But isn’t that why you make ridiculous culinary creations? You best inspire a fever-pitch amount of naked naughtiness with your vittles or surrender your libido. Seriously. Welcome to advanced Cook To Bang! This recipe is not for the microwave dinner daters. My uncle’s Indonesian wife Frida taught me this chili crab recipe/love potion cooked by men the night they propose to their future wives. The thought behind this is only a crazy woman lacking taste buds and common decency could turn you down after consuming food this awe-inspiring. I’m not saying Cook To Propose (although this would be a worthy dish), but expect you will own the night. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, Indonesian, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood, spicy | Tagged: awe-inspiring, bang, banging, blue crab, candlenuts, chili crab recipe, chilies, cook to propose, delicious, DIY, Dungeness crab, easy, eggs, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, ginger, gourmet, green onions, guarantee, homemade, indochine, Indonesia, Indonesian, intercourse, jalapeños, king crab legs, kitchen, lemongrass, libido, lime leaves, love potion, meth, monkey, naked, olive oil, propose, recipe, salt, scallops, seafood, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shallots, shellfish, southeast asia, spicy, tasty, tomato, turmeric, vegetable oil, Viagra, white pepper, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
December 17, 2014
Sexy commies gone vegan! Don’t tell Stalin…
Hello, comrades! I speak of course to the Russian women I have had the pleasure of. There is something about that accent that brings up all my childhood Cold War fears and translates them into lust. No doubt, their Soviet bloc childhoods taught them how to survive so they are as tough as they are hot. Not a wilting flower in the bunch. Banging someone tougher than you are can challenge your ego. But I welcome the challenge since the payoff makes my babushka spin. What better way to lure them in than the classic Russian dish, borscht? This Commie red soup hits the spot and nourishes the people. Even if your culinary conquest isn’t Russian, make them your comrade for the night. I’m back in the USSR! Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, HOT LIQUID LOVE, RECIPES, russian, vegan, vegetarian, winter | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, beets, carrots, cold war, commie, communism, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, HOT LIQUID LOVE, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, olive oil, onion, parsley, potatoes, puree, recipe, red cabbage, rosemary, Russia, russian, salt, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, soup, sour cream, soviet, tasty, ussr, vegan, vegan borscht recipe, vegetable stock, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
October 3, 2014
Butterball butternut bust-a-nut
Cook To Bang is nothing without its readership. If a recipe helps someone bang in the woods and no one is there to film it, does it make a moaning sound? I’ll leave that to the philosophers far wiser than me to answer. A massive shout out is due to my man DJ JD of Ottawa, Canada for this recipe. Homeboy came through with a unique and outstanding recipe when I needed it most. I make a point of not dating vegans since they severely limit my palette. But this particular vegan’s beauty is outclassed only by her cheeky personality. Naturally, a classy specimen of humanity deserves a little leeway. So after racking my sex-addled brain for a vegan recipe, I found JD’s email and took it for a test drive. Hot damn! This butternut squash soup made both our heads spin with glee. The vegan vixen was more than pleased. If Cooking To Bang was an Olympic event, JD just won the gold. CUE “Oh, Canada!” Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, HOT LIQUID LOVE, RECIPES, spicy, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, black pepper, butter-my-nuts squash soup, butternut squash, butternut squash soup recipe, calivirgin, Canada, classy, coconut milk, curry powder, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, ginger, gold medal, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, hearty, homeboy, homemade, HOT LIQUID LOVE, humanity, intercourse, kitchen, libido, naked, oh Canada, olive oil, Olympics, onion, Ottawa, palette, personality, philosophers, readership, recipe, salt, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, sex-addled, soup, specimen, tasty, Vancouver, vegan, vegetable stock, vegetarian, winter, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 17, 2014
Even prissy vegans can indulge in this walk on the wild side.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. At least that is what nutritionists keep telling me. Perhaps these know-it-alls with their charts and lab coats and rosy cheeks are right. Filling your gullet with kickass nutrients prepares you for any crazy $%&@ thrown your way. Eat a solid breakfast and you will be able to catch a blimp on fire hurtling down to the earth with your pinkie finger. Sounds about right. So here’s an uber-healthy recipe with protein to the extreme with plenty of fiber and lycopene without that Fatty McGee you get with scrambling eggs. You will be prepared to stop a flamingo stampede heading straight for a bus full of kindergartners, or at the very least, Cook and Bang your date from last night like a superhero. Now you just have to work on your secret identity, you Sex Crazy Mofo! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, healthy, Japanese, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: bang, blimp, breakfast, delicious, DIY, easy, firm tofu, flamingo, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, low fat, lycopene, morning, MORNING WOOD, naked, nutritionist, nutritious, onion, protein, recipe, seduce, sex, sex crazy mofo, superhero, tasty, Tofu scramble recipe, vegan, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 15, 2014
Get hungry, then get stuffed!
Sometimes you just need to do some stuffing. You have those sexy bits laying around waiting for some action satisfaction. Who are you not to play those kinky reindeer games? Get with the program and get stuffed. The fun part is taking the random goodies and seeing what will fit. It’s a lot like object porn where they stuff foreign objects into small openings. Shocking? Yes. Intriguing? Sure. Delicious? Most definitely! The stuffing I created for this dish was from goodies lying around my fridge eager for their day in sun…found in my oven. This is your chance to blow a few minds and other parts of the body with your stunning creativity. So polenta some panties off and start stuffing! Read the rest of this entry »
4 Comments | RECIPES | Tagged: apple, apple polenta stuffed pepper recipe, baked, bang, banging, bell peppers, black pepper, broiled, cornmeal, dairy, delicious, DIY, easy, entree, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green onion, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, libido, mozzarella cheese, naked, nuts, object porn, olive oil, paprika, polenta, polenta stuffed bell pepper recipe, recipe, salt, seduce, sex, side dish, Stuffed bell pepper recipe, stuffed veggies, tasty, vegetarian, walnuts, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 10, 2014
Get ready for some non-spaghetti in beddy!
This one goes out to all the sexy singles marching blindly to Atkins’ carb-free tune. Myself included. All this cooking and banging has put a hold on my underwear-modeling career. But only temporarily! I’m coming back hotter and more in your face awesome than ever. Healthy food is always the sexiest. We’ll skip the carbohydrated pasta in favor of nature’s non-processed solution. Spaghetti squash is an adventure of ingenuity and texture. It takes to a pasta sauce like a hooker to a free bag of crack. This simple sauté recipe should set you right. But pesto would convince just as many of your dates to drop trow. Now get roasting, my health-minded friends. I’m hitting the gym to work on my glutes. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, atkins, fusion, italian, IT’S ON!-TREES, Mediterranean, RECIPES, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: aphrodisiac, atkins, bang, banging, basil, black pepper, calivirgin, carbohydrates, crack, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, hooker, intercourse, kitchen, libido, low-carb, naked, non-processed, olive oil, parmesan cheese, recipe, red cabbage, roast, salt, sauté, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, spaghetti squash, tasty, tomato, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
September 5, 2014
Once you go Greek, you don’t go back…unless you’re squeamish
The Greeks sure know how to live. They have amazing islands, beautiful tan people and ouzo that pours out of every faucet. Seriously. I actually took an ouzo shower in Mykonos. But the shower was in a club and my Greek friends were pouring it over my head. My first thought was I had pissed off one of the girls by telling her she looks like the homely older sister of the goddess Athena. Thankfully this goddess-like mortal didn’t lose my sarcasm in translation. The ouzo shower was her mating call. Naturally the boorish American read it wrong thinking I had offended her. Believe it or not, that happens a lot. It took a few more alcoholic hosings and a passionate kiss on the dance floor to finally get it. I was crystal clear as the Mediterranean Sea when she led me down to the beach like a Trojan horse. Now I fully comprehend what it means to go Greek. Interesting. What’s also interesting is the island nation’s produce. Super healthy, tasty Greek Salads will fuel many ouzo shower-filled evenings. Do Zeus proud and go Greek! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | greek, LEAFY & LOVELY, Mediterranean, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: Athena, Athens, balsamic vinegar, bang, cucumber, delicious, Dionysius, dish, easy, fast, feta cheese, game changer, garlic, get laid, going Greek, gourmet, Greece, Greek dressing, Greek salad, Greek salad recipe, green pepper, guarantee, healthy, healthy salad, heart healthy, intercourse, kalamata olives, kitchen, lunch, meal, Mediterranean, naked, oregano, recipe, red onion, romance, salad, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, tomato, toss your salad, yummy, Zeus | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 18, 2014
Come on a banging safari with me!
The Beach Boys sang about surfing safaris. They’d travel the world surfing and singing their little hearts out. Not a bad idea, except substitute banging for surfing, and singing for grilling. Now we’re talking about a trip to remember. We can squeeze in some waves and singing while in the final throes of banging. But it’s all about beach time fun time all the time. You don’t have time to waste in the water when you have hot tanning bodies waiting for you to invite them to chill out while you grill out. Use the surfboard as a prop and hint that you just won a lifetime supply of sunscreen. Offer to rub some of your grand prize onto their shoulders and lure them over to your beach shack. Demonstrate your skills out of the water and grill them up some crazy easy, low-calorie tacos that won’t harm their swimsuit bod. Now comes the easy part of the safari. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, mexican, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: avocado, bang, banging safari, barbecue, bbq, beach, beach boys, black pepper, calamari, calamari steak, cayenne pepper, corn tortillas, delicious, DIY, easy, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, grilled calamari tacos recipe, grillin' like a villain, grilling, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, let’s go surfing now, low calorie, low fat, mexican, mexico, naked, olive oil, onion, protein, recipe, seduce, sex, shack, squid tacos, sunscreen, suntan lotion, surfboard, surfing, Surfing safari, swimsuit, tacos, tasty, tomato, water, waves, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 16, 2014
Which Costa Boasta the Mosta Rica Chicas?
I have traveled the world sampling the finest food and women. Each has its own unique taste, smell and overall experience. Some are memorable like this simple chicken sandwich in a baguette I ate in Paris, while the same thing I ate in Des Moines, Iowa was as forgettable as that Matt LeBlanc show after Friends. The same can be said about certain late night rendezvous where I’ll never forget the first girl to show up at my house with strawberries and cream, but am trying to forget about the one who brought BBQ sauce and coleslaw. This research is done in the name of Cooking and Banging. I do not take it lightly! But one particularly memorable CTB story took place in Costa Rica. I met a senorita that laughed at me from the beach as I attempted to surf. My Spanglish worked well enough to charm her into inviting me over for a post-surf lunch. This chica’s abuela was making this chicken dish in her tiny kitchen. I ignored her granddaughter and assister her in making this dish. The ploy to choose the chica’s grandmother’s company over hers became a double checkmate. Not only did I learn and document an awesome new recipe, but the semi-jealous chica also made sure that I was completely satisfied after lunch in the hammock. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | costa rican, healthy, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES | Tagged: achiote, bang, black beans, butter, chicken bouillon, chicken consome, chicken in salsa recipe, cilantro, costa rica, costa rican, costa Rican chicken dish, delicious, DIY, easy, entree, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green peppers in salsa, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, main course, mushrooms in salsa, naked, onion, Pollo en salsa recipe, recipe, red bell pepper, rice, seduce, sex, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 