August 29, 2014
If this can’t breathe some heat into your fall…you best get used to a cold empty bed.
Hold on tight to the memories. The warmth of the air made it unnecessary for people to wear layer upon layer of clothing. Summer flings are winding down, or in some cased winding up…for the long winter that lies ahead. Bikinis and mankinis are being put away in boxes to collect dust, dry as a bone. Can you blame us for being a tad wistful over the season we left behind? Fall’s great with the accessories (I’m partial to sweaters), but just for now, with this pineapple in my hand, I’m keeping things warm and shimmery. The succulent pineapple meat charred over fire sends me right back to that moment on the beach, laying post-coital on a hammock with a local lovely feeding me freshly grilled pineapple. So yeah, bring your own special memory of summer back with a vengeance. Chances are the lucky someone you grill this pineapple for has their own wicked summer senses to reignite. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | 
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Posted by cooktobang
July 30, 2014
I wrapped these tasty morsels up in lettuce and God said it was good.
You read that right. These lettuce wraps are no joke. Dr. Atkins is saluting them from his cloud in heaven. How could this much flavor be packed into such a low carb treat? Is it a miracle? Did God communicate this recipe to me from atop the mountain like Moses on Mount Sinai? The answer to all these questions is “You damn skippy!” This creation has absolutely nothing to do with the fact there was no bread in my house. Poppycock to those heretics who suggest otherwise. And the crowd of one I served it was certainly happy and surprised by the result. She too doubted that it would work. But I converted her into a believer. Can I get an amen? Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, atkins, dairy, healthy, poultry, RECIPES, SINWICHES | Tagged: amen, atkins, bang, banging, barbecue sauce, bbq sauce, believer, calivirgin, cheese, chicken, chicken lettuce wrap, delicious, DIY, easy, food, game changer, get laid, god, gourmet, grilled, guarantee, healthy, heretic, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lettuce, libido, low-carb, mayonnaise, moses, mount Sinai, mozzarella, naked, olive oil, onion, pear, poppycock, recipe, sandwich, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, tasty, tomato, wrap, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 28, 2014
Get a room? What’s wrong with a little exhibitionism? You get a room!
No doubt, some ninny has scolded you for PDA’ing the night away. They are just jealous of your mojo and spontaneity. It’s not your fault they aren’t inspired to engage in carnal acts in public, possibly in a suburban shopping mall or on a merry-go-round. Chances are they haven’t banged properly since the Reagan administration. Tough titties. You on the other hand still have a pulse and should cry out, “To hell with you cock-blocking conservatives!” Grab that special someone’s ass and pull them towards you. Encourage them to open their mouth and feed them something refreshing and sensual…like this salad. The fresh tomatoes will dance on your tongues like another tongue, preparing them for the inevitable closing move that will ruffle the feathers of every starched shirt in a 10-mile radius. Know in your heart that you haven’t done your job until you get complaints from the morality morons. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, vegetarian | Tagged: avocado, balsamic reduction recipe, balsamic vinegar, bang, buffalo mozzarella, cheese, conservative, delicious, DIY, easy, exhibitionist, fiber, game changer, get a room, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, heirloom salad, Heirloom tomato salad recipe, heirloom tomatoes, homemade, honey, intercourse, kitchen, liberal, merry-go-round, morality, naked, pda, public display of affection, quick, rainbow chard, Reagan Administration, recipe, seduce, sex, shopping mall, starched shirts, suburban, tasty, toasted sunflower seeds, vegetarian, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 18, 2014
Come on a banging safari with me!
The Beach Boys sang about surfing safaris. They’d travel the world surfing and singing their little hearts out. Not a bad idea, except substitute banging for surfing, and singing for grilling. Now we’re talking about a trip to remember. We can squeeze in some waves and singing while in the final throes of banging. But it’s all about beach time fun time all the time. You don’t have time to waste in the water when you have hot tanning bodies waiting for you to invite them to chill out while you grill out. Use the surfboard as a prop and hint that you just won a lifetime supply of sunscreen. Offer to rub some of your grand prize onto their shoulders and lure them over to your beach shack. Demonstrate your skills out of the water and grill them up some crazy easy, low-calorie tacos that won’t harm their swimsuit bod. Now comes the easy part of the safari. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, GRILLIN’ LIKE A VILLAIN, healthy, mexican, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: avocado, bang, banging safari, barbecue, bbq, beach, beach boys, black pepper, calamari, calamari steak, cayenne pepper, corn tortillas, delicious, DIY, easy, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, grilled calamari tacos recipe, grillin' like a villain, grilling, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, lemon, let’s go surfing now, low calorie, low fat, mexican, mexico, naked, olive oil, onion, protein, recipe, seduce, sex, shack, squid tacos, sunscreen, suntan lotion, surfboard, surfing, Surfing safari, swimsuit, tacos, tasty, tomato, water, waves, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
July 16, 2014
Which Costa Boasta the Mosta Rica Chicas?
I have traveled the world sampling the finest food and women. Each has its own unique taste, smell and overall experience. Some are memorable like this simple chicken sandwich in a baguette I ate in Paris, while the same thing I ate in Des Moines, Iowa was as forgettable as that Matt LeBlanc show after Friends. The same can be said about certain late night rendezvous where I’ll never forget the first girl to show up at my house with strawberries and cream, but am trying to forget about the one who brought BBQ sauce and coleslaw. This research is done in the name of Cooking and Banging. I do not take it lightly! But one particularly memorable CTB story took place in Costa Rica. I met a senorita that laughed at me from the beach as I attempted to surf. My Spanglish worked well enough to charm her into inviting me over for a post-surf lunch. This chica’s abuela was making this chicken dish in her tiny kitchen. I ignored her granddaughter and assister her in making this dish. The ploy to choose the chica’s grandmother’s company over hers became a double checkmate. Not only did I learn and document an awesome new recipe, but the semi-jealous chica also made sure that I was completely satisfied after lunch in the hammock. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | costa rican, healthy, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES | Tagged: achiote, bang, black beans, butter, chicken bouillon, chicken consome, chicken in salsa recipe, cilantro, costa rica, costa rican, costa Rican chicken dish, delicious, DIY, easy, entree, game changer, garlic, get laid, gourmet, green peppers in salsa, guarantee, healthy, homemade, intercourse, kitchen, main course, mushrooms in salsa, naked, onion, Pollo en salsa recipe, recipe, red bell pepper, rice, seduce, sex, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
June 9, 2014
Jane says, “I’m gonna kick tomorrow.” Yeah right! These summertime rolls are too damn good!
With much respect to Jane’s Addiction. Better music to bang to there could not be. Nothing beats a summertime roll in the hay. Summer sex is sweaty, sticky, and sumptuous. When all have been said and done properly, some light fare is in order. The summer appetite is for something light and refreshing. Heavy, saucy things just don’t do a body warmed by the sun good. That was my conclusion after hiking through the Angkor Wat and Thom ruins all day in the blazing Cambodian heat. The Canadian backpacking aspiring anthropologist/stone cold hottie I met by the tree growing out of the cracks of a crumbled temple and I collapsed into a booth at an empty restaurant when we got back to Siem Riep. Ms. Canada held up two fingers up and we were brought two Angkor beers and two shrimp spring rolls. The nibbles recharged my aching body and overwhelmed sense of wonder. It also got the ball rolling on a beautiful evening performing a clothing optional duet of “Oh, Canada!” Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, cambodian, FINGER FOOD FOREPLAY, healthy, RECIPES, seafood, spicy, summer | Tagged: Angkor, Angkor thom, Angkor wat, anthropologist, aphrodisiac, bang, banging, beer, Canada, Canadian, cold stone hottie, delicious, DIY, duet, easy, food, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, jalapeño, jane's addiction, kitchen, libido, mint, naked, oh Canada, recipe, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shrimp, shrimp summer rolls, siem riep, southeast asia, summer, summer rolls, summertime rolls, sweet chili sauce, tasty, vietnamese, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 15, 2014
Prescription-strength delicious
It’s party time! The night is full of possibilities. You have your date lined up. You are pretty sure things are good to go. So don’t leave the cocktails to chance. Class wherever you’re going up with some watermelon ice cubes. You can turn a boring vodka soda into a superbly subtle recipe for delectable debauchery. Watermelon is a bonafide aphrodisiac that has the same compounds that Viagra offers to get guys’ pistons firing at full speed. The juicy melon is mostly water, with a refreshing flavor that does your body right. Allow the cube to melt and the watermelon particles break away, turbo-charging your drink for the night ahead. If an erection lasts for more than four hours…go with it! Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, holidays, RECIPES, summer, vegan, vegetarian | Tagged: alcohol, aphrodisiac, bang, booze, chilly, cocktail, cold, cube, delicious, drunk, easy, fancy, frozen, fruity, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, ice, intercourse, kitchen, mixer, naked, natural, new years eve, party, recipe, refreshing, romance, SEDUCTION, sex, simple, sweet, Viagra, watermelon, Watermelon ice cubes, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 14, 2014
- Experimenting in the kitchen leads to experimenting in the bedroom.
Experimentation makes the world go round. Where would we be without Ben Franklin accidentally barbecuing himself with a kite? I approach cooking with the same punk rock philosophy. My instincts usually lead to success, but every once in a while I crash a burn. My culinary experiments usually take place behind closed doors, the windows drawn, and a former Mossad security team keeping out the paparazzi. I can’t have my cooking rep suffer should I create a black hole of shame in my kitchen. There were these peanut butter cookies I made without sugar that were so bad they will follow me to into grave and end up stuffed in my suit pocket. Every once in a while a new recipe needs to be attempted on the spot. This skeptical lawyer whose ass still looks banging under her pantsuit was concerned when she saw me peel a tangerine and shell shrimp. “You’re putting that in my eggs?” I calmed down this sexpot lawyer that dominates in the courtroom and bedroom by pouring coffee into one of my beloved PHOTO MUGS. She drank the java, then ate her words, and entire plate, even forking away one of my shrimp! my lawyer lover ended up being late to her deposition because she subpoenaed me between the sheets. CTB 1 – LAW 0. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, fusion, healthy, MORNING WOOD, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, bang, banging, beat, black hole, black pepper, bodyguard, calivirgin, cilantro, delicious, deposition, DIY, easy, eggs, electricity, experiment, food, fruit, game changer, get laid, gourmet, guarantee, homemade, intercourse, inventor, kitchen, lawyer, libido, low-carb, mossad, naked, olive oil, peanut butter cookies, protein, recipe, salt, sauté, scramble, security team, seduce, SEDUCTION, sex, shrimp, shrimp tangerine scramble, skeptical, sweet, tangerine, tangy, tangy bangy shrimpy scramble, tasty, vitamin c, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
May 9, 2014
Just say no to crack. But say yes to smacking that sea bass!
Did you hear that crack? That’s the sound of my hand against flesh? You know you love it. Denying it is as believable as a crackhead swearing the car stereo in his hand was a birthday gift. So just enjoy the pleasure this gives you like you would a massage with a happy ending. There’s no shame in indulging in life’s simple pleasures. Your date will no doubt agree when you let them taste a little of your thunder. That is, after they catch their breath. So bring the noise and don’t hesitate to smack this dish loud and proud. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, healthy, IT’S ON!-TREES, RECIPES, seafood | Tagged: aphrodisiac, awesome, basil, DIY, filet, fish, gourmet, green onion, grill, grilled sea bass, healthy, homemade, juice, lemon, low fat, marinate, nuts, olive oil, Pistachio encrusted sea bass recipe, pistachio meats, protein, pulverized, salt, seafood, smack that ass, tasty, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
February 26, 2014
Inhale my kale
This simple as sin noodle dish’s got everything. Want healthy green kale? You got it, bub, Feel like the tart of lime, a hint of Vietnamese with the fish sauce, maybe the tang of sun-dried tomato? Indoubely-deed. How about an aphrodisiac triple threat? Bim bam boom. That mean old Dr. Atkins will shake his immortal head in shame over the carbs, but in their defense, they are pretty light and airy. And that will come in handy when all the colors swirling around this healthy noodle dish spin you and your date off your feet and into bed. Feel free to watch the kaleidoscope in the air when you’re both lying panting, post-coital, feeling it. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | aphrodisiac, APHRODISIACS ANONYMOUS, asian, carboluscious, fusion, healthy, hippie, LEAFY & LOVELY, RECIPES, spicy, vietnamese | Tagged: aphrodisiac, asian, avocado oil, bang, banging, basil, bim bam boom, carboluscious, carbs, delicious, DIY, dr. atkins, easy, fish sauce, food, fusion, game changer, get laid, ginger, gourmet, guarantee, healthy, hippie, homemade, intercourse, kale, kale rice noodles recipe, kale-idoscope rice noodles, kaleidoscope noodles, kitchen, libido, lime, naked, post-coital, recipe, rice noodles, seduce, SEDUCTION, Serrano chilies, sex, southeast asian, spicy, stirfry, sun dried tomato, tasty, vegetable oil, Vietnam, vietnamese, yummy | Permalink
Posted by cooktobang
Cook To Bang - Recipes To Get You Laid 